Syndrome Y Solution (eBook)

Emotional Strength Building For Your Underperforming, Unmotivated, Underacheiving Son

Karen Chesnutt (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2017 | 1. Auflage
200 Seiten
Librastream (Verlag)
978-1-68061-005-5 (ISBN)

Many bright and able boys are paralyzed by a puzzling set of symptoms characterized by problems at home, school, and in daily life. But most of these boys, when tested, are found not to have any disorder that would explain their problems. Every parent worried about a son who seems angry and underperforming should read this book. It tells the story of how a psychologist saw a distinctive pattern in many boys brought to her for testing. Dr. Karen Chesnutt has identified a set of symptoms that she calls Syndrome Y. More important, she has devised the first effective treatment program for Syndrome Y. Building emotional strength is the key to overcoming underperformance, low motivation, and underachievement. Dr. Chesnutt's five-phase program is the answer to helping Syndrome Y boys build the emotional strength they need to succeed in school and in life.

If your son is having problems in school and disrupting family life at home and you can't find a reason, this book offers proven help. Many bright and able boys are paralyzed by a puzzling set of symptoms characterized by problems at home, school, and in every-day life. But most of these boys, when tested, are found not to have any disorder that would explain their problems. Every parent worried about an underperforming son should read this book. It tells the story of how a psychologist saw a distinctive pattern in many boys brought to her for testing because of problems at home and at school. Dr. Karen Chesnutt has identified a set of symptoms that she calls Syndrome Y. More important, she has devised a program of treatment that actually works. Building emotional strength is the key to overcoming underperformance, low motivation, and under-achievement. Problems resembling Syndrome Y have been described in the past. Some data-driven and research-based books have hinted at Syndrome Y, but this is the first book to offer an effective way to deal with it. Dr. Chesnutt's five-phase program is experience-based and practical. Her program is the first to deal with the "e;why"e; of Syndrome Y and to treat its underlying causes. Her approach is based on many years of experience as a parent, teacher, and psychologist. According to Dr.Chesnutt, "e;This book is written for parents whose sons are unmotivated, underachieving, and dependent. They are often bright, engaging youngsters, but chronic underachievers. They have little internal motivation. They seem unaffected by traditional motivators such as reward, punishment, praise, or scorn. They are not motivated by grades. They are willing to depend on others to set the agenda for their lives, and are willing to let others complete tasks that are really their responsibility. These boys usually test as capable in academic ability, but they seem satisfied with minimal or failing results."e;"e;The five main characteristics of Syndrome Y have something in common. They all indicate that something is missing. That missing element is what I call emotional strength. It is not a lack of skill or knowledge. It is not a lack of opportunity. It is not merely a lack of motivation. The important thing to realize is that the problem is emotional. Syndrome Y boys do not have emotional strength,"e; Dr. Chesnutt says. "e;In order for your son to begin to function independently, to be motivated, to have passion for something, he needs to build his emotional strength,"e; Dr. Chesnutt says. "e;Emotional strength is not something that can be learned or a skill that can be acquired. It is more like a muscle that needs to be exercised. It takes time and repetition to increase emotional strength. Many parents have asked me if emotional strength can be increased. The answer is yes, it can, with enough patience, practice, and exercise,"e; reports Dr. Chesnutt"e;Just as we think about the development of physical strength, development of emotional strength requires exercise, practice, and challenge,"e; Dr. Chesnutt says.

CHAPTER 1

Stuck in Boyhood

Brad was thirteen and midway through the seventh grade when I met him for the first time. He presented himself well. He was neatly dressed. He made eye contact. He was soft spoken and articulate. He was also failing all of his classes.

This was a new and worrisome situation. Brad had done well in early elementary school, but he had begun to falter over the past two years. Now his problems hit with full force. He was struggling in every subject. His parents and teachers couldn’t understand what had happened. “What could be the matter?” his parents asked. “We just don’t understand.”

The problems at school were worrisome enough, but things were even worse at home. Brad would erupt in anger when things didn’t go his way. He usually either refused to follow rules or else he simply ignored instructions from his parents. The mere threat of an outburst from Brad could get the other family members “walking on eggshells” and changing their behavior in order to avoid conflict.

Brad’s parents had tried everything—praise, rewards, reasoning, punishment—but nothing seemed to work. The situation continued to deteriorate and they didn’t understand how or why. By the time they came to me, Brad had withdrawn from outside activities. He spent most of his free time playing video games. He didn’t seem to have a “passion” for anything at all. According to his mother, “Brad just isn’t the same kid he used to be.”

“So Brad, tell me why you’re here,” I asked at our first session together.

“My parents made me come. There’s nothing wrong with me.

I’d be fine if everybody would just leave me alone.”

A Call for Help

This book began with a call for help from Brad’s parents. They wanted to know if their son had a learning disability that might explain what was happening. They were desperately worried about their son’s apparent self-destruction at school and the disruption of their home life caused by Brad’s anger and withdrawal.

More Boys Like Brad

I focused on children and teens as a psychologist, particularly ones having problems in school. I used standardized tests to assess their abilities and diagnose various disabilities such as Non-Verbal Learning Disability (NVLD), Executive Dysfunction, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Once diagnosed, my patients usually responded to appropriate therapy.

I was noticing a new and puzzling pattern with boys like Brad. After extensive testing I was usually able to rule out learning problems. These boys were clearly bright. They had good academic skills. Most did not meet the criteria for ADHD or a learning disability that could explain the growing problems at home and at school.

These boys did not work independently. Despite being capable learners, they did not complete assigned school work. If they were actively supervised, they might complete some work. They did not seem to care about grades. They were happy to just get by.

Most of these boys came from loving, supportive families. Their parents were supportive of a quality education. The other children in the family were usually successful in school and didn’t present the same problems.

As the years passed, I found myself treating more and more boys like Brad. At first the pattern was subtle. My long experience helped me to notice it. Once I recognized the pattern, however, it was obvious that I was dealing with a set of symptoms that were causing these boys to run into an invisible wall.

Jim was 13 and in seventh grade. When he came to my office the first time, he was social and engaging. I tested him and found him to have above average intelligence, with good reasoning and planning skills. His academic skills in reading and math were also above average. Yet Jim was failing. He rarely completed classwork and never did homework. He always failed notebook checks. He did not keep track of assignments. I went back and looked at his progress reports. He did complete work for some of his favorite teachers, but was unable to sustain a pattern of success. Jim had been a good student in elementary school, so the decline in his performance was surprising and disturbing.

Trapped in a Pattern

I realized that boys like Brad and Jim were trapped in a pattern of behaviors that I could not explain using standard psychological approaches. The pattern included: the use of avoidance as a major problem-solving strategy; a strong dislike of demands on them (demands that were not on their agendas); a tendency to grow dependent upon those around them; a need for immediate gratification; and, finally, the inappropriate expression of anger. All of the boys shared at least two or three of these five characteristic behaviors. Many had all five. This odd mix of behaviors began to look like a syndrome to me.

The more of these boys I saw, the more I wondered what was causing this pattern of behaviors, this syndrome. Whatever it was, it cropped up more and more frequently. Eventually it dominated my practice. I wanted to figure out what was going on, and find the best possible treatment for these boys. I was determined to find a way that would allow them to grow into the successful students they should, by all available evidence, be capable of being.

Mystery Syndrome

For lack of a better name I began thinking of this mystery syndrome in algebraic terms. I started calling it “Syndrome X” until I could replace the “X” with something better. I never did find a better descriptive term for this maddening set of behaviors, but it hit me one day that this was a syndrome that affected mostly boys. I decided to replace the “X” with a “Y”, for the Y chromosome that distinguishes a boy embryo. That’s how I identified Syndrome Y.

I am not using Syndrome Y in a formal or technical sense. It is not like a genetic disorder, nor is it a disease. Instead, I am using the term “syndrome” because it describes a constellation of behaviors. Many parts of a young man’s life are impacted by Syndrome Y. His family also feels the results.

As the collection of behavioral traits that distinguished Syndrome Y began to organize itself in my mind, I went back and looked at the psychological literature. I was looking for two things: to see if anyone else had described this particular set of symptoms and, more importantly, to find treatment approaches that might work. I found a book written by Dr. Jerome H. Bruns entitled They Can But They Don’t. He seemed to be describing the kind of students I was seeing. He identified the problem as an emotional one, not a learning problem. He found these boys to have difficulty in the process of achieving independence. His solution was to intervene with the parents and with the school. He wanted parents to be more nurturing at home, while also setting firmer limits. He wanted the school to avoid using a punishment model for students who didn’t complete their work. He also wanted schools to provide positive reinforcement, and called for more emotional connection between teachers and their students.

I began to employ the model described by Dr. Bruns, but with limited success. Despite less punishment and more effort by parents and teachers, the boys did not seem to be making any changes for themselves. The success I did have seemed to be with boys who had some of the characteristics described, but whose Syndrome Y symptoms were mild. Only the slightly-affected boys seemed to respond to Dr. Bruns’ recommended intervention.

Further insight came in a book by Dr. Leonard Sax entitled Boys Adrift. Dr. Sax is a psychiatrist, and looked at the problem of these boys from a medical perspective. He described five factors that caused their lack of achievement: video games, teaching methods, prescription drugs, environmental toxins, and devaluation of masculinity. Dr. Sax described the problem not in the boy’s emotional makeup, but rather in the environmental factors around him. He had several suggestions about how parents can change such environmental factors. He encouraged parents to send their sons to all-boys schools in order to increase their interactions with male role models. He claimed that boys were likely to use video games as substitutes for “real” experiences, so he pushed for parents to provide real life experiences for their sons. Noting that many parents resorted to using medication (usually for ADHD) to try to solve their sons’ academic problems, he urged that medications be used only when there is a clear diagnosis.

Sometimes Dr. Sax’s advice proved helpful to my patients, but other times not. Many of my Syndrome Y patients have attended all-boys schools. That helped sometimes, but it did not provide a simple, reliable solution. Besides, an all-boys school is not an option for most families.

Tom was failing in his...

Erscheint lt. Verlag	28.2.2017
Sprache	englisch
Themenwelt	Sachbuch/Ratgeber ► Gesundheit / Leben / Psychologie ► Familie / Erziehung
ISBN-10	1-68061-005-8 / 1680610058
ISBN-13	978-1-68061-005-5 / 9781680610055

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