Never Date a Dead Animal (eBook)
The Red Flags of Loser, Abusers, Cheaters and Con-Artists
eBook Download:
EPUB
2016
|
1. Auflage
200 Seiten
Bookbaby (Verlag)
978-0-9795791-7-2 (ISBN)
200 Seiten
Bookbaby (Verlag)
978-0-9795791-7-2 (ISBN)
Based on a compelling true story, Nancy Nichols's Never Date a Dead Animal presents a unique introspect into the cunning, seductive, exploitive, controlling, and even ruthless tactics of antisocial personalities. A genuine eye-opener her book reveals the early warning signs of the narcissistic sociopathic con-artist. The covert psychological warfare of an abusive man. The vicious, addictive cycle of his abuse and its traumatic effects on its victim. The callous premeditated end game of these personalities and why women repeatedly attract, fall in love with and commit to men who maltreat them. After reading this book you will never date a dead animal again!
A must read for women who date, fall in love with and commit to men his maltreat them. Based on a compelling true story, Nancy Nichols's Never Date a Dead Animal presents a unique introspect into the cunning, seductive, exploitive, controlling, and even ruthless tactics of antisocial personalities. A genuine eye-opener her book reveals the early warning signs of the sociopathic con-artist. She clearly illustrates the covert psychological warfare of an abusive man, the vicious, addictive cycle of his abuse and its traumatic effects on its victim and the callous premeditated end game of these personalities. She emphasizes why women repeatedly attract, fall in love with and commit to men who are non-committal, emotionally detached and abusive. If you have never been involved with a conniving, pathological lying, narcissistic man you may not know what you're dealing with. You may buy into his charm, braggadocio and phony facade. You may mistrust your instincts that your boyfriend or husband is lying to you, demeaning and controlling you. You may minimize your partner's wounding behavior you may think: he's having a bad day, he didn't mean it, or alcohol makes him abusive. Worse yet, you may think you are over-reacting and crazy as he claims you are. Does this describe you? You are influenced by a man's good looks, flattering words, charisma and success. You question a man s hurtful behavior, but keep dating him anyway. You have a history of dating and falling in love with the wrong man. You mistrust your instincts that your husband or boyfriend is lying to you, ridiculing or demeaning you. You recently broke up with or divorced an abusive man. You trying to find the courage to leave a toxic relationship. After reading Never Date A Dead Animal you will never date, fall in love with or commit to a dysfunctional man again!
A must read for women who date, fall in love with and commit to men his maltreat them. Based on a compelling true story, Nancy Nichols's Never Date a Dead Animal presents a unique introspect into the cunning, seductive, exploitive, controlling, and even ruthless tactics of antisocial personalities. A genuine eye-opener her book reveals the early warning signs of the sociopathic con-artist. She clearly illustrates the covert psychological warfare of an abusive man, the vicious, addictive cycle of his abuse and its traumatic effects on its victim and the callous premeditated end game of these personalities. She emphasizes why women repeatedly attract, fall in love with and commit to men who are non-committal, emotionally detached and abusive. If you have never been involved with a conniving, pathological lying, narcissistic man you may not know what you're dealing with. You may buy into his charm, braggadocio and phony facade. You may mistrust your instincts that your boyfriend or husband is lying to you, demeaning and controlling you. You may minimize your partner's wounding behavior you may think: he's having a bad day, he didn't mean it, or alcohol makes him abusive. Worse yet, you may think you are over-reacting and crazy as he claims you are. Does this describe you? You are influenced by a man's good looks, flattering words, charisma and success. You question a man s hurtful behavior, but keep dating him anyway. You have a history of dating and falling in love with the wrong man. You mistrust your instincts that your husband or boyfriend is lying to you, ridiculing or demeaning you. You recently broke up with or divorced an abusive man. You trying to find the courage to leave a toxic relationship. After reading Never Date A Dead Animal you will never date, fall in love with or commit to a dysfunctional man again!
Control and dominance seem to give the abuser a sense of power, security, and identity as a male.
—Lundy Bancroft
“Just because you’re not battered and bruised does not mean you’re not being abused.”
Verbal Abuse Can Be Overt or Covert
he anger and contempt of overt verbal abuse are obvious; the abuser uses shouting, yelling, temper tantrums, name calling, profanity and threats of loss or pain to intimidate and control his victim.
If a man hits you, you know instantly—that’s abuse! If a man calls you a stupid, ugly, fat pig—you know without question—he’s demeaning you. But if a man tells you that he can never please you, you have a rotten attitude, you can’t do anything right, you’re too brainless to get a job, or you’re a bad mother, a lousy lover and no man will ever want you—some women will minimize the fact that those statements, and comments like them, are—verbal abuse!
Covert Abuse is Subtle
Covert abuse can be difficult for the victim to identify because the perpetrator communicates in ways that are sly, vague, underhanded and confusing. If the abuser delivers his message without anger or yelling, or he smiles sweetly while mocking his partner, or he passes his demeaning comments off as “constructive” criticisms, the victim is doubly perplexed. The abuser’s tone of voice may seem normal, but if you listen closely, a trace of criticism or contempt can be heard. For example, the abuser ridicules his partner in public with sarcasms disguised as “jokes.” “You’re so easily entertained,” he quips in front of friends (insinuating that she is dim-witted and easily amused), or “Don’t bother trying to explain it to her; it’s over her head.” He laughs contemptuously while delivering her a left-handed compliment, e.g., “I like your dress; it does wonders for your figure,” and “You’re really smart for a woman.”
My Texas Girlfriend Within checks out her red rattlesnake cowgirl boots; Sweet! She picks up her 12-gauge shotgun, cocks it in one quick motion and says, “Hey Dickwad, Say that again like you mean it.”
A covert abuser uses guileful actions to demoralize his victim. He consistently forgets the things that are important to his partner which devalues her as a person. He trivializes her interests and accomplishments. He procrastinates to frustrate her and keep her under his thumb. If she complains about his deceptive, misleading, oppressive actions he compounds her abuse by telling her, “You’re too sensitive,” or “That’s not what I said,” or “Where did you get a stupid idea like that!”
Covert abuse is hidden aggression. Its aim is to control and dominate you without you knowing. It wounds deep and its psychological damage is long-lasting, and sometimes even permanent.
If you’ve never been exposed to the insidious nuances of a covert verbal abuser, you may not realize what is happening to you. Therefore, you may be unable to clearly explain his cruel conduct to a friend or counselor.
When Dr. Dirtbag jabbed me with his subtle cutting remarks, I struggled to explain to him how his comments hurt my feelings. He pretended to not understand what he was doing, he screeched, “If you can’t tell me what I am doing wrong, how can I change?” I called my girlfriend Annie, who lived several states away, crying about his hurtful behavior. Annie listened pensively and then she said, “Nancy, I think you’re over-reacting. Look at everything he’s done for you. You know he loves you deeply. You need to toughen up and give this guy some slack. If you don’t, you’re going to run him off.” I couldn’t seem to make Annie understand the extent of his wounding actions because I didn’t fully understand it myself. Part of the problem was, it wasn’t “what” he said that was so ruthless; it was his condescending tone of voice and scornful expressions that cut like a knife.
It was easy for me to believe that I was the one in the wrong given my past relationship failures. I wanted to believe that Dr. Dirtbag truly loved me. And I didn’t want to run him off with my uptight behavior and delusionary allegations. So I accepted Annie’s explanation. I sucked up my hurt feelings. I forgave him and I tried harder not to react to his erratic verbal assaults.
Verbal abuse is unpredictable. No matter how discerning, guarded or alert a woman is, she is never prepared for her partner’s sarcasm, spiteful put-downs or angry jabs. It is his unexpected attacks which keep her confused, stunned and off-balance.
Dee: I felt like I was walking on eggshells around Randy, trying to watch what I said or did to not set him off. One minute he was asking me what I wanted for dinner, and the next he was raging at me for not emptying the dishwasher. His mood swings were exhausting and kept my stomach in knots.
Verbal abuse is deliberate and not accidental. It is unimaginable to any woman that the man who professes to love her with such passion and devotion would knowingly want to berate, demean and dominate her.
In public the abuser will act like the perfect caring, good natured husband or boyfriend. But in private he will turn on and lash out at his partner. Abusers know what they are doing and they choose when and where to abuse. Proof that abuse is a cognitive act is the moment a friend shows up unexpectedly at the door, or his boss calls, or the police arrive on the scene, an abuser is able to immediately compose himself. He may even try to convince the police you were the trouble maker.
As was Clark’s normal drinking behavior, he instigated an unjust and hurtful argument with his girlfriend Cindy. One night their argument escalated and Clark threw Cindy up against the wall and grabbed her by the throat. Cindy broke loose, ran into the bedroom and called 911. Fifteen minutes later two uniformed patrolmen showed up at their door. The officers separated Cindy and Clark, taking them into different rooms to interview them. With tears streaming down her face Cindy told her officer how Clark had instigated the fight and violently attacked her. When she finished telling her story, Cindy and her policeman joined Clark and his policeman in the living room. Clark had his hand on his policeman’s shoulder, laughing and telling good-old-boy stories. Clark had bamboozled his policeman with his tales of community work and political connections. Suddenly both officers downplayed the seriousness of the situation, saying, “You guys need to try to get along,” and upon leaving said routinely, “Call us if you have any more problems.” Clark had suckered the cops—it was a jolt to Cindy’s self-esteem and a threat to her safety.
Verbal abuse is hostile. All verbal abuse is dominating, controlling and hostile. The longer you remain with an abuser, the more destructive he evolves and the more tolerant you become of his abuse.
There is an anecdote which describes a frog being slowly boiled alive. As the story goes, if you throw a frog into a pot of boiling water, he will immediately feel the heat and jump out. But if you put a frog in lukewarm water and slowly turn up the heat, he will not perceive the danger and he will be cooked to death.
And so it is in abusive relationships.
A wise woman recognizes the warning signs of a man’s controlling and abusive personality and quickly stops dating him. The naïve or needy, co-dependent woman minimizes and denies a man’s hurtful behavior. She covers up his abuse to her friends and family. She suppresses her fears and anxieties. She gradually adapts and adjusts to his harmful behavior and she remains in the abusive relationship.
Believe It or Not, Abuse is a Planned Event
Experts say abusers know what they are doing, but may not necessarily know why they do it. They choose when, where and whom to abuse. They don’t insult, threaten and assault everyone in their life; usually it is the ones closest to them, the ones they claim to love.
Dining out with Dr. Dirtbag was his opportunity to berate, punish and publicly humiliate me. It was a brilliant scheme. He would ask me out to dinner on the pretense of a lovely evening. We would arrive at a restaurant, be seated at a table and then he would blindside me with his jabbing and berating insults. He unknowingly revealed his maiming dinner time behavior to me when we were first dating. He told me the story of how he and his wife were dining at an exclusive five-star New Orleans restaurant. She became angry and abruptly left the restaurant leaving him and her untouched plate of seventy-five dollar confit de canard (duck). Amazed I asked him, “Why did she do that?”
“She got mad at the chef [a culinary celebrity],” he claimed. “The chef didn’t allow salt and pepper shakers on the table because he claimed his dishes were perfectly seasoned. The uppity waiter refused to bring her salt, she got mad and stormed out of the restaurant and went back to the hotel,”...
| Erscheint lt. Verlag | 19.9.2016 |
|---|---|
| Sprache | englisch |
| Themenwelt | Sachbuch/Ratgeber ► Gesundheit / Leben / Psychologie ► Lebenshilfe / Lebensführung |
| ISBN-10 | 0-9795791-7-1 / 0979579171 |
| ISBN-13 | 978-0-9795791-7-2 / 9780979579172 |
| Haben Sie eine Frage zum Produkt? |
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