Empty Nesting

Claudia S. Arp and David H. Arp—marriage educators, authors, trainers, and seminar leaders-are the cofounders and codirectors of Marriage Alive International, Inc. They are the authors of numerous books including the 1997 Gold Medallion Award winner, The Second Half of Marriage (1996). Scott M. Stanley, Howard J. Markman and Susan L. Blumberg developed the world-famous Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP). They are the coauthors of Fighting for Your Marriage, A Lasting Promise, Fighting for Your Jewish Marriage, and Becoming Parents.

Acknowledgments ix

Before You Begin: A Personal Note from David and Claudia Arp xiii

Part I: Understanding Your Empty Nest Marriage

1. Meet the Second Marriage of Your Marriage 1

2. Letting Go and Moving On 21

3. Becoming Partner Focused 41

Part II: Handling Conflict in the Empty Nest

4. Communication and Conflict: Four Danger Signs 59

5. Talking It Out: The Speaker-Listener Technique 81

6. Getting Beneath the Surface: Issues Versus Events 105

7. Problem Solving 131

8. Ground Rules for Handling Conflict 159

Part III: Dealing with Empty Nest Issues

9. When What We Want Isn't What We Get 183

10. Applying the Glue of Commitment 203

11. Core Beliefs and Developing Siprtual Intimacy 225

12. Relating to Adult Children and ging Parents 241

Part IV: Feathering Your Own Empty Nest

13. Becoming Empty Nest Lovers 265

14. Building Your Friendship 283

15. Having Fun When the Nest Empties 297

16. Keeping Your Relationship Strong 311

Research References and Further Reading 327

Finding a Counselor When You Need One 333

Resources and Training 337

Survey Results and Problem Ranking 341

The Authors 343

Index 345