Without The Storms (eBook)

Chapter One
Storms?

Storms can refer to a lot of things, but in this case it’s the problems that we face in our day-to-day lives. There are many different types of storms; some are extreme whereas others may be light. Some storms have a devastating effect on a very large area of your life, while some of them are localized and may only affect you. The most important thing to remember is every storm is not the same for everybody who encounters it. We are all human and we all have our own individual ways of dealing with things, which is what makes us unique. As we said in “Let Me Be Me”, no two people are exactly alike.

When I worked on the golf course there was a tree in the fourteenth fairway that had been struck by lightning. If you looked at the tree from the tee it appeared to be dead but if you turned around and viewed it from the green it appeared to be alive. Only when seen from the fairway, was it obvious that half of the tree was dead, while the other half was perfectly alive. You see, it was simply a matter of perspective and no two people view life from the same perspective, therefore a problem that may seem trivial to you, may seem like the end of the world to me.

While I would not want to relive my life as it has been, I would also not change the things I have been through up to this point because every storm I have encountered has molded me into the person I am today. It has been a very difficult road and one I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. There have been many problems but in the same respect, many joys. When you look back at your own life as you read this book, you will need to take note of the same in your own circumstances. There is no life without pain and no life without joy. This is sometimes commonly referred to as yin and yang. Basically in its simplest form there is a balance between opposites and the two are interchangeable with neither being exclusive to its own nature, for example man and woman, night and day, good and bad.

Everyone has to deal with a certain amount of difficulty in life even though outward appearances may reflect otherwise. Some of us have a tendency to hide our problems from the outside world while others all but push theirs onto anyone who happens to cross their path.

Generally speaking, there are many reasons for hiding your problems and most of us, if we live long enough, use all of them. I could compile a list that would fill this book but we won’t go that far. We will, however, discuss some of the most popular reasons that people try to hide their storms from the rest of the world. We will also cover who’s responsible for the storms that we face and whether there is anything we can do to avoid the storms altogether. One of the most popular schools of thought in the modern world teaches us that we are what we think so we’ll also talk a bit about religion and what it says about the problems we endure.

I have on many occasions throughout my life questioned the why of my storms. What did I do to deserve this? Why do bad things always happen to me? When am I going to catch a break? How much more does God think I can stand? Am I paying for the sins of my father? All of these questions and more will be answered by the time you finish reading this book and I believe the answers will not only surprise you but satisfy you as well. We forget sometimes that we are not alone in this world, when I have a problem, I feel like I’m the only person in the whole world with problems or at the very least with this particular problem. This is never the case, no matter what I’m dealing with right now there are many more people out there in the world going through something similar. Sometimes these people can help me and sometimes I can help them.

I have found it extremely refreshing to talk with people I don’t even truly know because while friends and family are close to the problem, strangers have no vested interest. The advice they give is not based on how the outcome will affect them because in reality it won’t affect them at all, therefore they tend to be more objective and less judgmental. I’ve also found it easier to give advice to strangers for the very same reasons.

I know what you’re thinking and the answer is no, I do not just walk up to strangers and start telling them my problems. I actually have a couple of popular “friend connect” pages on the computer which allow me the luxury of airing my dirty laundry without being specific and hurting people’s feelings. I am sure it seems odd but in the same respect it does have its advantages. As I said, most of the “friends” on these pages have no vested interest because they are not directly affected by the outcome so they give their opinions based only on what they read. I am not an idiot and I don’t always take such input seriously but it does give me food for thought from an objective source and sometimes that is all I need to come to terms with the storm I am currently facing.

My house sits across from a big field and when I look out of my front door I can see for miles. Most storms in our area come from the west and southwest so when I look out I can see them before they ever get to me, this gives me time to prepare for the storm before it hits. How wonderful it would be if life’s storms were the same and we could have time to prepare before they hit. Unfortunately, there is usually very little warning and we’re left feeling like the rug has been pulled out from under us. We seem to be hit from out of the blue by something we never expected and were in no way prepared for, leaving us shocked and unsure of just how we should proceed. You are not alone, every single person alive has been faced with this feeling at some point and whether he or she admits it or not, it is just as devastating for them as it is for you.

I’m sure we all know that certain someone who never seems to have a care in the world and just cruises through life with the top down and the wind in their hair, looking for the next wonderful thing to happen in their life. Things are not always as they seem and this person is not always carefree and living the good life. Maybe he hasn’t had that really big storm or maybe he has learned how to deal with his storms in a way that doesn’t reflect on his outward appearance. There are some people who pretend their storms don’t exist for fear of showing weakness or vulnerability. There are even people who do not want to appear common and any sign of trouble in their lives would seemingly knock them from their pedestal or in other words make them just like everybody else. These people, in fact, are just like everybody else, no one is immune to life and life brings with it a certain amount of difficulty no matter whom you are, what you do or how much money you have, storms are inevitable. We all face them, we all have pain associated with them but more importantly we all grow from them and that is what this book is all about.

Storms are a very necessary part of life. In granting humans free will, God also opened the door for us to make mistakes and that is part of what separates us from him. We were given a choice to serve or to venture out on our own and most of us choose at some point to venture. We believe that we have the ability to determine what is best for us and make decisions accordingly, which in turn causes us to make a lot of mistakes. The mistakes we make affect not only us but those around us as well. Isaac Newton said for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Unfortunately, Newton’s 3rd Law only applies to bodies in motion, when applied to mistakes the reaction can reach far beyond the action that started the ball rolling. What seems like a simple lapse in judgment can end up causing a cataclysm of phenomenal proportions. There is nothing we can do to avoid the fallout but we can learn along the way to handle it and continue on our journey through life.

You may choose to look at life in a different way. Most of us have played video games or at the very least understand the concept of how they work. We start the game on level one and as we work our way from one level to the next it is imperative to find objects and learn how to deal with enemies in order to make it to the next level. The game starts out relatively easy but the further we go the harder it becomes. In order for us to make it to the next level we must overcome certain obstacles using the knowledge and tools we have acquired in prior levels. If we try to go forward before we have learned all of the lessons, we are doomed to fail and must start over. Life works very much the same way in that everything we face gives us the knowledge and tools we need to make it through the next level. When we try to move forward without learning these lessons, we will inevitably be forced to make the same mistakes over and over until we get it right.

According to Albert Einstein, insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Many people go through their entire lives repeating the same mistakes and never learning a lesson or moving forward. A child does wrong and a parent punishes the child in hopes that he will realize this is the result of wrongdoing. The child does the same thing again and the parent does not understand why the punishment did not deter the negative behavior, yet the parent does the same thing in his or her own life not realizing the similarities. All human beings make mistakes and that is inevitable but the important thing is learning from those mistakes and moving forward in our lives. Many people sit back and refuse to take responsibility for their actions, spinning their...