When Your Children Marry (eBook)

Based on interviews with married adult children, both sons and daughters, and mothers who have at least one married son and one married daughter, this book examines how marriage changes relationships with parents. The author demonstrates that while most mothers do not feel that they 'lose' their sons following marriage, the relationships do change in significant ways, yet their relationships with married daughters do not change as drastically. She offers advice, as well, for navigating the changes and maintaining strong ties to both sons and daughters after they marry.

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Marriage is an important transition in the life of any adult who marries. But often when a son or daughter gets married, their relationships with their natal families changes. It is often said that a 'daughter is a daughter all of her life, but a son is a son 'til he takes him a wife.' This book examines how marriage changes relationships between adult children and their parents and how this differs for sons versus daughters. Merrill considers the process by which men 'get pulled into' their wives' families and the ways in which men are sometimes more connected to their wives' families following marriage than to their own families. But what is it about a relationship with a son that changes when he marries? And why do daughters tend to stay closer? Why do mothers experience greater difficulty in negotiating relationships with married sons than with married daughters? Why do daughters tend to stay closer and maintain stronger ties to their natal families than sons do? This book answers these questions and offers advice for mothers on how to maintain strong ties with their children when they marry, negotiate relationships that may be fraught with new challenges, and accept changes when they happen. Sharing firsthand accounts from mothers, sons, and daughters, the author sheds new light on this neglected topic.