Cyber Spying Tracking Your Family's (Sometimes) Secret Online Lives (eBook)

“Trust, but verify” — President Ronald Reagan

Topics in This Chapter:

Introduction

Imagine two separate scenarios. In the first scenario, you order a drink at a coffee shop. The barista politely takes your order and sets your change down next to the “tips” jar. She then heads to the backroom for another bag of espresso beans. There is no one else in the store, and you are all alone. Do you take all of the change or leave some for a tip?

Now imagine that you are waiting in line behind two of your coworkers, both of whom put all of their change into the “tips” jar following their order. They have received their coffees and are now watching you as you collect your change.

Look at Figure 2.1. Would you be more inclined to leave all of your change now that the others are watching you? Would it make a difference if those watching have left their change? Would it make a difference if those watching are colleagues as opposed to strangers? What if it is your boss versus your peer?

For some, this is deemed an intimidation tactic. Experiments have shown that when people think they are being observed, their behavior changes based on who is observing them. Michael Lynn, an associate professor of consumer behavior at Cornell University’s School of Hotel Administration, has researched this topic extensively over the past 20 years. He suggests that people tip primarily to avoid social disapproval. His research found that the amount of the tip had very little to do with the quality of the service. In particular, he estimates that quality attributes to roughly only four percent of the variance.

Take a restaurant, for example. Have you ever thought about the pressure to leave a “customary” 15 to 20 percent tip? Whom do you generally leave the tip for? In most cases, it is the waiter or waitress with whom you interacted the most. What about the chef who prepared your meal? You never saw him, so perhaps you did not feel social pressure to leave a tip. Tips are left for people to whom you feel a “connection.” Many experiments show that waiters and waitresses who write simple things such as “have a nice day,” or draw a smiley face on the bill receive larger tips. The server does something nice for the customer, and the customer reciprocates.

What does this have to do with spying on your family? A great deal, when your intent is to modify their behavior by spying, rather than just catch them “in the act.” In particular, this chapter explores the social pressure from a lack of privacy and ties psychological aspects such as this into the activity of spying. In addition, this chapter outlines the goals of spying, explores the use of active surveillance as a deterrent, investigates some of the emotional effects of spying, and touches on the legality of monitoring others. The moral of this story is that spying is a powerful technique that can be used to gather information on those that have done wrong. At the same time, it is a dangerous weapon that should only be used as a last resort. Honesty, trust, and communication are relationship builders; spying is based on deception, cynicism, and secrecy. Take this into account before you pursue any act of surveillance.

Goals of Spying

Historically, the goal of spying has been to collect information from targets without their knowledge. This information is useful in that the target doesn’t think you have it, and doesn’t realize when you do have it. It is the closest you can come to reading someone’s mind. For the purpose of this book, we extend our definition of spying to include all types of monitoring. In addition to information collection, spying can be used as a technique for monitoring and modifying people’s behavior. The primary goal of spying is to improve your position in a situation either by controlling behavior or using the information to give yourself an unexpected advantage.

Information collection plays a part in every multiparty interaction. When two groups come together there are primarily three levels of information exchange: active and inactive (both overt) and covert. Active information is any information that you receive via request from another party. This information is always voluntarily given. Inactive information is the information actively gleaned from nonvoluntary factors such as facial expression, mannerisms, tone of voice, and other relatively apparent clues. Although this information is not voluntarily given, it is not concealed either, and it is apparent for all those who would collect it. Finally, covert information is the information you glean by other methods consisting of those activities traditionally associated with spying. Information collected by covert methods may not be obvious and is definitely not voluntarily given by the monitored party. Covert information plays a critical part in obtaining the big picture of any interaction. Without it, you have only what you observed or inferred from the interaction. Covert information gives you what is unseen and in many cases helps round out the big picture. Voluntary, involuntary, and covert information round out the information puzzle.

Imagine that you are quizzing your spouse about a former love. What your spouse offers to tell you in response to your questions is one part of the information puzzle, the overt and active information. You now have the information that your spouse is willing to disclose on the subject. When talking with your spouse, you also pay attention to facial expressions and tone of voice. This offers another piece of the puzzle. Your spouse’s nonverbal clues—i.e., smiling or frowning or appearing happy or sad—are involuntary factors that round out what you overtly know. If you search your spouse’s diary for entries about the former love, you are covertly collecting information. This action may give you a completely different view of the topic. Now you have access to information that your spouse feels is secret and not being observed. In many cases, this is the most truthful version of the story. The overt and covert information all combine to flesh out the big picture.

Behavior modification can be another result of the spying process and is usually achieved by revealing a capability to monitor activity. The resulting effect can be a deterrent, such as the case of police cameras in public areas. It can also be used to complicate a subject’s activities. If concerned about being monitored, people being spied on may adapt additional behaviors as the knowledge of being monitored drives them to a new level of caution. The additional complexity of trying to avoid monitoring techniques may drive them away or complicate the process they were originally embarking on. In these cases it is not the actual covert collection of information, but the overt knowledge that someone may have the capability to watch them that can be played upon to modify bad behavior.

When the two end goals of spying are carefully executed, they can be used to place people in a much stronger position than they would be without spying. They now have new information, or have modified the behavior of their target in such a way that a sense of control has been established. Being...