Just Stop Picking Losers!

VICKI CARPEL MILLER, BSN, RN, LMFT, is co-founder and a core trainer of Collaborative Divorce Team Trainings, Collaborative Divorce Institute, and the Vicarious Trauma Institute, introducing the Rapid Advance Process for building higher thinking skills. She is an internationally recognized presenter and trainer in the field of Collaborative Practice, training family lawyers, licensed mental health and financial professionals world-wide in the Collaborative Divorce Full Interdisciplinary Team Model of Collaborative Practice with Collaborative Divorce Team Trainings and Collaborative Divorce Institute. Vicki is co-founder and past President of the Collaborative Divorce Professionals of Arizona and functions as a Divorce Coach, Child Specialist and/or Case Manager in Collaborative Divorce files. She is a member of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP), a Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT), the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC), and an Advanced Practitioner Member of the Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR ). Vicki has received advanced training in family mediation, narrative mediation, interest-based negotiation, Collaborative Law and Collaborative Divorce Interdisciplinary Team Practice. She is co-director of Arizona Collaborative Coaching Services, the Collaborative Divorce Institute and the Vicarious Trauma Institute. She is located in Scottsdale, Arizona. ELLIE IZZO, Ph.D., L.P.C.,is a Licensed Professional Counselor and has been in clinical practice since 1982. Dr. Izzo developed the Rapid Advance Process, a standardized five step model for building neural pathways to higher thinking which was originally presented at the American Counseling Association convention in Atlanta in 1997 and again in Honolulu in 2008. The Rapid Advance Process is now widely used to alleviate trauma and stress. Ellie also serves as a Trainer, Divorce Coach, Child Specialist and/or Team Manager in the process of Collaborative Divorce, whereby a team of professionals help a couple move through divorce respectfully, without litigating. She is co-director of the Collaborative Divorce Institute and the Vicarious Trauma Institute. Ellie presents for numerous conferences and conventions. She hosted a call-in radio show in Phoenix and served as Self-Help Editor for a nationally syndicated trade magazine. Ellie is a member of the American Psychological Association, the American Counseling Association, the American Mental Health Counselors Association, International Academy of Collaborative Professionals and Collaborative Divorce Professionals of Arizona (Board Member-At-Large). Ellie is co-director of Arizona Collaborative Coaching Services, Vicarious Trauma Institute and the Collaborative Divorce Institute. Her offices are located in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Chapter 1: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13Picking Losers Isn't Your Problem, It's Your DistractionChapter 2: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19Please Recover From Having a Mother, or Revealing YourHistoryChapter 3: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .27Round and Round, or Recognizing the ImpasseChapter 4: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .39It's Old News, or Releasing the PastChapter 5: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .53Just Say "No" to Losers, or Responding to FearChapter 6: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .67What Was Lost Is Found, or Reconnecting To Your SpiritPart Two:The Rapid Advance WorkbookIntroduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .77Looking at Yourself As A Person . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .79The Rapid Advance Technique . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .85Reveal Your History: It Was . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .89Recognize Your Impasse: It Is . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .107Release Your Past: I Can . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .115Respond to Your Fear: I Know . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .123Reconnect to Your Spirit: I am . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .129Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .133About the Authors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .135