Ayr United Miscellany

Mad, but true, stories from the more eccentric side of the beautiful game.

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Welcome to a world of eccentric happenings in local football. These tales are mad but true. They are local but are sure to contain generic appeal by dint of the fact that such tales could reflect the game's evolution in many localities. Such generic appeal might also be enjoyed by supporters of any similarly-sized club. The timescale transcends the generations from Victorian times to modern times. From the ill-advised experiment with floodlit football in 1878 to Alex Williams' love-in with a referee in 2009, football's propensity for the abnormal has not diminished with time. What was life like on a stinking (literally) football special in 1901? Who was the fag-juggling Crocodile Dundee lookalike of Dunston? What was the quaint custom of 'stoatin the baw'? Which Ayr United goalkeeper once played in a Euro qualifier with a knitted bobble hat perched on his head? When was Sky news literally that? Illumination on such topics are contained within. However illumination was a commodity somewhat lacking in the first tale. Supporters of the finer aspects of the beautiful game are advised to look away now. Devotees of Manchester United/ Chelsea/Arsenal/Rangers/Celtic (delete where applicable) are also recommended not to trespass within lest they should find themselves in an alien territory which they will have no comprehension of. This is all about football in its rawest form.