If Only I Could Remember The Rules of Golf

Seen any gophers on your course lately? If not it may be because you don't know what they look like (see under burrowing rodents, nocturnal land-tortoises, large burrowing snakes and small ground squirrels). And while you are about it, brush up on salamanders and groundhogs (aka woodchucks) as well. All these animals are worth knowing because they make holes which entitle you to a free drop; which is more than can be said for your dog. Foxes and badgers don't qualify even for an honourable mention (or perhaps they don't live in North America). There is no doubt about it, the Rules of Golf have to be read with a sense of humour, otherwise they are no fun at all. In many respects they are like a cross-word puzzle, a test of ones own ingenuity and a goldmine for one-upmanship; but on the whole it is probably best to treat them as a cure for insomnia. Most of my friends just make them up.