When You're Not Expecting

Constance Hoenk Shapiro , M.S.W., Ph.D. is a therapist, author, university professor, consultant, and public speaker dedicated to the study of infertility and its emotional impact on individuals and couples. She is a founding member of the Central New York chapter of RESOLVE and has been a member of the National Association of Social Workers and the Council on Social Work Education for over 30 years. She is a professor of Family Studies and Social Work at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.

Acknowledgments. Introduction. Chapter 1: Infertility: The Journey Begins. Infertility Testing. Seeking Help from an Infertility Specialist. Choosing an Infertility Clinic. Communicating with Your Partner and Confiding in Others. Would a Support Group or Therapist Help? Learning to Deal with Infertility. Chapter 2: The Club: On the Outside Looking In. Friends and Coworkers in The Club. Family Members in The Club. Creative Coping. Getting Support from Club Members. Chapter 3: Emotional Overload: Staying Together through Infertility. Husbands. Lesbian Partners. Chapter 4: The Waiting Game: When Life Is on Hold. Waiting. Not Taking On New Challenges. Infertility and Your Job. The Financial Crunch. Considering Adoption or Surrogacy. Chapter 5: Scheduled Sex: When Making Love Becomes Hard Work. Infertility and Your Sex Life. Seeking Counseling for Your Sex Life. Chapter 6: Celebrations and Special Events: Coping with Gatherings. Baby Showers. Religious Rituals. Holidays. Family Celebrations. Dealing with Gatherings on Your Own Terms. Chapter 7: Another Shoulder to Lean On: Support Groups and Therapists. In-Clinic Support Groups. Community Support Groups. Counselors and Therapists. The Counseling Experience. Chapter 8: Pregnancy Loss: A Shattered Dream. Types of Fetal Loss. Grief, Guilt, Regret, and Anger. Reactions of Family and Friends. Early Loss. Loss after the First Trimester. Loss in a Multiple Pregnancy. Stillbirth. Your Partner's Experience of Pregnancy Loss. Chapter 9: Achieving Pregnancy: An Emotional Roller Coaster. Why Your Pregnancy Feels Different from Others'. The Many Reactions to Pregnancy. Prenatal Testing. Emotions in the First Trimester. Emotions in the Second Trimester. Emotions in the Third Trimester. Unanticipated Complications. Post-birth Concerns. Chapter 10: Ending Treatment: When Enough Is Enough. Finances. Time Disruptions. Clinic Accessibility. Work Performance. Statistical Odds or a Poor Medical Prognosis. Emotional Issues. Letting Go. Moving On. Chapter 11: Different Dreams: Opening New Doors to Life. Adoption. Surrogacy. Child-free Living. Epilogue: The Legacy of Infertility. The Aftermath of Infertility. The Challenges of Living Child Free. Re-evaluating Relationships. Your Long Journey. Resources. Index.