The Expat Option - Living Abroad (eBook)

Part 1 : relationships and commitments

family and relatives

The following item is a short review of the family and relatives. Just have a look at the checklist :

• wife / husband;
• children;
• grandchildren;
• brothers and sisters;
• parents;
• grandparents;
• parents-in-law;
• brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law;
• nephews and nieces;
• aunts and uncles;
• cousins..........

Let´s stop here for not getting too complicated.

• Who are the members of your family or relatives you are usually in contact with?
• Who are the persons in that group you definitely would like to keep in touch with as well in the future when living abroad?
• What kind of commitments do you have at present with regard to members of your family or relatives?
• Which out of those commitments could be ended before D-Day and which of them you would have to continue as well later on from abroad?

As soon as you will have answered these questions you should focus your attention on the following ones :

• Is it only you to be involved in this expat project or are there also other members of your family to take part in it? No doubt about it that it may be a comfortable situation to move alone (it depends on how you would feel it for yourself), because one wouldn´t have to show consideration towards somebody else. What counts in such a situation are only one´s own emotions, ideas and goals.
• Quite a different matter is a situation, where your partner, the children or other members of the family are going to be a part of your expat project too. In such a situation the decisive question could be this one : Do all the persons involved definitely want to be a part of it because of their inner convictions or is there somebody who would have to make some compromise? Supposed that would be the case, could there be a proper solution already now, that could be accepted by all the persons concerned?

Onemore question :

Is in general the chemistry right between you and the other ones taking part in your expat project as well as with regard to the family members you are going to leave behind at home? Or is there probably a problem that could stir up trouble? Please keep in mind that solidarity amoung each other is an indispensable prerequisit for the success of your expat project, especially if there are family members of different generations taking part in it!

family and relatives – different starting positions

For there is a good chance for both parts to develolp a win – win concept, it seems to be a really beneficial situation, if the (still unmarried) son or daughter are going to live abroad together with their parents. The son or the daughter would continue to live their independent lifestyle with all its advantages. Not (yet) to live in a relationship means, that there is no need to agree to any kind of compromises, which means to maintain one`s own flexibility. It`s pretty likely that a professionel career or a business plan would be in the focus of action in such a situation, because a start-up single definitely has all the possibilities to find a proper location for success! Another very interesting aspect of not yet being marrried is the possibility to be very mobile in terms of doing business around the world. This is one of the reasons, why there is a rather strong demand for singles in jobs or business branches, that require frequent travel activities or very flexible work schedules.

On the other hand – however – those sons or daughters still living together with their parents may continue to enjoy the family atmosphere around them and the possibility to be directly supported by their parents right at the new location.

In general such a concept can be of special interest for both sides if it ´s the intention to develop a business together.

The same goes for a two-plus-two concept. A young couple and his (or her) parents could become a real „power-package“ abroad in case both sides would decide to run a business together! Two young people and an elderly couple of round about 50 seems to be very typical for a successful operating family business. Start-up power on the one side and quite a good portion of social responsibility based upon life experience on the other side could benefit from each other. Notwithstanding, whether it would be necessary or not for the parents to do business, there is no doubt about it, that mutual respect is essential to make such a relationship work over a longer period of time. It`s also indispensable to find a location abroad with all the required conditions and facilities, that might be of importance for each member of the family. And that leads us to the following question :

Which are the things that nobody of this group would give up or refrain from by no means even when living abroad? In other words, which things, habits, cultural traditions, etc. have to be possible or feasible as well at a new destination?

Another concept within such a relationship could be a situation, where the parents would accompany the „kids“ temporarily during the initial phase at the new destination abroad!

Much more than it would be normally expected there are families with children or single parents with kids, who decide in favour of an expat project. In such a situation you should take into account the following considerations :

At first one should give priority to a thoroughly coordination between the different wishes and ideas of the family members. This could probably cause different requirements with regard to the infrastructure as compared with those necessary for a start-up single. Realizing an expat project that includes school children, young trainees or students may be a quite challenging situation too, because such a scenario would prompt you to make some basic decisions with regard to the following subjects :

What level of education the parents would like to make possible for their children? Where could they find such possibilities and would they be able to afford it? What matters at this point is to understand that the quality of education may depend on the costs for school, job-training or studies. Supposed that the new destination offers these possibilities for the children, the parents would have to make sure, that their own job or busines related goals could be realized at the same place too! That´s also very important and should therefor be investigated in advance.

In one case or another parents could be faced with another „little problem“ to be taken into account as well.......... teenagers.......... those kids from about 12 to 17 years old. They have reached that age of adolescence, they are cheerleaders and a lot of friends are around them all time long and suddenly it happens .......... the first great (of course neverending) „love is in the air“!

For sure one could imagine an easier problem for the parents to be solved as to convince their offsprings in such a moment to accept the expat project of the family as the coolest adventure in their life. Of course, this is not always the case. But once the youngsters have „tasted the honey“ there could arise a situation in one case or another, where the inevitable separation from friends could cause something like an end-of-the-world mood, whatsoever! How to handle such a situation?

Perhaps it could be a good idea, that the parents at first would agree upon to sing the same tune (!) in that moment while exercizing authority and that way hoping, that the saying becomes true that goes „out of sight – out of mind“. Another strategy would probably do as well. The parents could try to make the kids believe, that they have the choice (seemingly, of course) to decide after a certain trial period at the new destination, whether to stay there or to go back home.

Last but not least there is the „all-in-version“, i.e. the entire family with parents, children, grandma and grandpa are making up their minds to open up together a new chapter in life somewhere abroad. To realise successfully such a concept it`s very important to understand, that such a three generation project means to manage three different „little worlds“! What makes this situation special is the fact, that such a little community could create a mutual feeling of security as well as a certain level of independence from the „outside world“. These are the strong points of such an all-in expat project. At the same time such an all-in-version might be quite a big challenge as far as tolerance, mutual respect and understanding are concerned. No doubt about it, that this goes also for the requirements of the infrastructure at the new location. To put in a nutshell :

School, job-training or collage plus job or business for the parents plus the peculiarities of a pensioners lifestyle plus all the different leisure time activities seems to be a fascinating cocktail,.......... in particular, when they decide to live together under the same roof.

special circumstances in private life

Solidarity, tolerance and mutual respect as well as a decisions making based upon general agreement are those basic features, that are even more needed whenever a family would have to cope with special circumstances!

Reading this book for sure you have realized, that our approach to organise an expat project is strictly opposing any „.......... I don`t mind..........“ or „.......... I don`t care..........“ mentality, especially if older members of the family are concerned. Let´s suppose a...