Thank You and OK! (eBook)

Addressing Women

Maruyama, April 19, 1990

'America is a very wide country,' I said, pointing to a map of the United States of America. America—,that's what Japanese call it. I usually try to be more considerate of others from our hemisphere and just call it 'the States.' The other day I was shattered when a Canadian woman said, 'The States? Isn't it just like you Yankees to think you're the only 'states.''

'I was born here,' I said pointing the stick to Texas. 'Texas.' (Pause for recognition.) 'The city where I come from is Fort Worth. It is next to Dallas. You all know Dallas because Kennedy was killed there.' (Ahs and ehs.) According to Ishitaki, the first day that Japan was hooked up to receive live American television was November 22, 1963. Like us, the Japanese will not easily forget the Kennedy assassination.

'It was a very sad day.' (Nods.) I mentioned the Wild West and oil and made a pun about the word 'cowboy' in Japanese and English.

'We don't use chopsticks there. I had a hard time with them at first in Japan, but now I'm gradually getting used to them.' I picked up two pencils and exhibited ridiculous hashi style. (Laughter.)

'It gets very hot in Texas in the summer.' (Wipe my brow.)

'When I was a kid we used to eat a lot of ice cream and watermelons in the summer.' (Mmmms, going up in pitch.)

I was giving a talk to a ladies' group in a town way up in the hills. It took an hour and a half to get there by bus and train. There were about eighty women, mostly farmers' wives, not poor or uneducated, but, according to their own president, 'not as sophisticated or snobby as Maruyama women,' whom Ishitaki called 'not as sophisticated or snobby as Kyoto women.' My mother goes to The Woman's Club in Fort Worth. I wonder if it's anything like this.

I'd been giving talks to groups for half a year, ever since I recovered from the debacle at the Gifu JCs. Poor Yasushi. He tried to tell me. Everyone tried to tell me. As the old Japanese saying goes, 'Open your ears, fathead!' At least that's the gist.

I demonstrated a car whizzing by me so close it made me spin. I had looked to the left instead of the right. 'Your streets are backwards!' Laughter.

Every sentence was written large on a piece of typing paper. I could improvise without fear of getting lost. All I had to do was look down and say what was next. I'd gone through these pages a number of times and most of it was from prior talks, so I wasn't really reading. Ishitaki had helped me greatly. The principle of the talk that we developed was to give them 90 percent what they wanted and expected and to say a little something extra for the other 10. She enthusiastically assisted with that didactic 10 percent and made it as effective as she could for the particular audience. What she wanted me to say was not just the diplomatic nice-nice—,I was elated with it. She told me it was what she would like to say in public but never gets to because outspoken women are not appreciated. 'I have to say what I think very indirectly. You can be frank. That's what they expect from an American.'

I told the ladies about a language problem I had in Tokyo when I was there with Kelly in July of 1988. We were still new to Japan and were trying to figure out if we were at a temple or a shrine. I went up to a bald man in robes and asked, 'Is this a temple (otera)?'

He pointed to the left. 'The rest room (otearai) is over there.'

'No, I didn't say 'otearai.' I said, 'Is this a temple (otera)?'

'There's a hotel (hoteru) over there,' he said, pointing to the left. They applauded and laughed.

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