Separation Guide (eBook)

Contents
Introduction xi
1 The Roles of the Lawyer and the Litigant 1
1. Similar Cases; Extremely Different Results 5
2 Understanding the Situation — Litigation May Not Be
Necessary 11
3 Think Positively about Your Divorce 28
1. Encouragement 33
2. Communication 34
3. Why Can’t Couples Settle Immediately after They
Separate? 38
4. You Can Be Happy with Your Divorce 40
4 What You Need to Know about Hiring Legal Counsel 42
1. When Should You Hire a Lawyer? 45
1.1 Before you separate 45
1.2 Before you sign any documents 46
1.3 If something doesn’t feel right 46
vi The Separation Guide
2. How to Find a Lawyer 46
2.1 Prepare for the initial interview 50
3. Retainers and Legal Fees 50
4. If There’s Fear or Violence in the Relationship 58
5. Don’t Make Any Decisions in Haste —
Consult with Legal Counsel First 60
6. Still Not Convinced to Seek Legal Counsel? 61
7. When Don’t You Need to Hire a Lawyer? 65
7.1 When you tell your spouse you want to separate 65
7.2 When you are dealing with everyday minor
family issues 65
7.3 When you need financial advice 66
7.4 When you need psychological counseling 67
8. Consider Other Dispute Resolution Options 67
9. Circumstances in Which an Amicable Divorce
May Not Be Possible 68
9.1 The inveterate liar 68
9.2 The psychologically unstable spouse 70
9.3 The physically disabled or abused spouse 71
10. An Important Note about Confidentiality
and Privilege 71
11. Firing Your Lawyer 72
5 Marriage and Separation Counseling 75
6 Getting Started 78
1. Where, When, and How Will You Announce Your
Intention to Separate? 79
2. What Are Your Objectives? 81
3. Who Will Be Present During Your Discussions? 83
4. Have You Prepared a Statement of Issues
(or Agenda)? 83
5. Have You Prepared a Statement of Assets and
Liabilities? 84
6. What If Your Spouse Refuses to Accept
the Separation, or Refuses to Talk Settlement? 85
Contents vii
7. Record Your Progress — The Separation Agreement 87
7 Disclosure 91
1. Nondisclosure Is a Crime 92
2. Undervaluing Assets 93
3. Disclosure: Common Sense Principles 97
4. Situations in Which Disclosure Is Not Simple 97
8 Assets 100
1. The Family Home 100
2. Pensions 107
3. Property Transfers 109
4. Family Business or Company 113
4.1 Valuation and compensation of a business
interest 115
5. Resolve Liability Issues 116
9 Negotiating Who Gets What 119
1. Dividing the Small Household Items 122
2. What to Do When You Come Across Obstacles
in the Negotiation Process 124
3. Conduct and Other Allegations 127
4. Signing the Agreement 129
4.1 Parties of the agreement 130
4.2 The parties must be competent to sign the
agreement 131
4.3 Sign the agreement in front of two witnesses 131
10 The Divorce 133
1. The Necessity of Legal Advice When It Comes Time
to Divorce 134
2. Divorce Costs 135
3. Post-Divorce Problems 136
11 Changing the Agreement 138
12 Update Your Will 142
Resources 145
viii The Separation Guide
Samples
1 Separation Agenda 84
2 Statement of Assets and Liabilities 85
3 Letter to the Fund Administrator 109