Magical Menopause

Monica Troughton is a mother and grandmother, as well as a full time journalist, writing on education, travel, relationships, and women's issues for several national newspapers and consumer magazines, including Woman's Own, Eve, SHE, Prima, Family Circle, Good Housekeeping, Closer, Take A Break, Chat, Best, The Daily Mirror, and The Independent. Before she turned to writing full time Monica was a teacher and FE lecturer, spending 15 years as Head of the Performance Arts Faculty in Coventry, and has also worked as a playwright, actor and director. Monica was also a pioneering 'stress manager' for secondary age students, introducing massage and relaxation in schools.

1 Hormone Milestones. Puberty, pregnancy, and now the menopause. That's one load of hormones in a lifetime. 2. Perimenopause. The bit before the real thing hits in. The foreplay. 3. Old Wives tales. Who are the old wives now? What do you mean WE are? What have we been saying? 4. What will actually happen to you? What might happen and what most definitely will not happen-but what to do if it does. 5. How to keep your bits in good running order. Hanging on to your teeth, bones, skin, and hair. Little things like that. 6. Wet Wet Wet. Keeping moist inside and out. 7. Those rhythms and blues. Say good-bye to all that jazz. 8. Saggy boobs? And more tips for tits. 9. No reason to compete. Why it's ok to be a bit o' mutton dressed up as a bit o' lamb sometimes. 10.Will he still fancy you? Now you can't get pregnant? Now your skin is a soft as a baby's bum? Now you are free to enjoy yourself more than before? He just might. 11. Will you still fancy him? Erm-so long as he isn't slobbing in front of the telly with a lager in one hand, so long as he still tries as hard as you to be sexy and lovable-then why not? But you are going to be a bit picky now about men and which lucky guy you'll share your time with. 12. What do you mean, 'You feel like a Woman'? Well it's true-some women do fancy other women once menopause starts. No need to panic, fret or consider a sex change. 13. Wake Up Time. Have you managed to sleep the WHOLE night through? You share some of your deep sleep tips with us. 14. Hey you-Crystal Balls You can see the future. You can see a lottery win...No? Tell us how it works then. What's all this clairvoyance stuff? 15. Wise Old Woman. It's true. Through the fog and mist appear wisdom and clarity...you are mores sensitive to everyone and everything around you. 16. Fuzzy brains - What the fuzziness is and what it might be telling you. How to clear the airwaves. 17. Now you fancy the vicar? It's true-more menopausal women than any others go to church and find religion. Why you can't steal that Sunday hat and then ask forgiveness. 18. Self Esteem. You're feeling low. Well everyone does from time to time. At least you've got an excuse now. 19. Career Change. Why not? You deserve to change the lot if you so wish. Back to uni? Re train? Get promotion? Go for it girl! 20. Can you still be outrageous? That personality just won't lie down and go to sleep. It will be bursting with ideas for the new you. Give it a chance to speak. 21. There's still so much left to do. This is YOUR new age-do whatever you feel you can. 22. Unresolved Matters. They do matter-and now more than ever you will want to sort out, throw out and tidy up everything in your closet. Deal with it. 23. What do you mean you don't want to grow old? Look at the alternative and growing old seems very nice thanks. 24. People are being funny. They think you are going to snap their heads off. You wouldn't want to do that would you? 25. Family and friends. Tell tell tell. Let them know what you are going through. It's good! 26. Younger Women. Let them know you are psychic and they'll flock around. Tell 'em becoming psychic is just one of the perks... 27. It's all in the mind. Are you really feeling hot and sweaty-or are you just pleased to see him? 28. Feeling Stuck? Get unstuck...fast. 29. Feeling Peckish? Perfect fodder for this fabulous time. 30. Alcohol. Headaches? Depression? Hangover? Can't take your drink any more? But a tipple wont hurt-will it? 31. Optimum Health. Supplements and exercises to keep you supple and er...exercised. 32. Hormone Therapies Well you might like to try some of these-why not? 33. Natural Hormone therapies. You might like to try some of these as well. 34. Nothing looks right any more. OK so you might feel a little out of sorts with your wardrobe but that is NO way to treat those new stilettos you bought. 35. Sex Sex Sex Light those candles and show him the way. 36.Rose tinted specs. What to think when you think you want your old 'you' back again. You find yourself yearning for periods, milky breasts, peaches and cream complexion? What do you mean, 'It was never like that?' 37. Let them do their bit. People love helping people and you can now sit back a bit and let them do their bit. Share the care-it's only fair. 38. Time Travel. Menopausal memories are divine. Recall all the lovely things you have done and sit back and enjoy them all over again. 39. Mary Poppins. Kids seem to adore women who are older, crankier, loonier, funnier, magical, moodier-yes-YOU. 40. Hags and Crones. Stop being so nice-it doesn't suit you any more. Break out Mrs Nice Guy and be mean-give it a go-don't be a doormat any more. 41. Focus on the good stuff. Bounce back. Have absolute certainty in your positive approach. 42. Private Places. What is going on 'down there'? Is it true it all atrophies and withers away? 43. Private thoughts. Erotic dreams happen to as all. You mind will now take you to ravishing corners it never dared go near until now-well not since you were a teenager dreaming of... 44. Special Moments. Feelings rise to the surface and you have extra perception now. Tell family and friends how special they are to you. Many friends will be going through the same as you-but suffering. 45. Deeper and Deeper. In you go-expand and develop what you are feeling and thinking. 46. Do It All. Your body is now ripe for new experiences-revitalised and with a renewed sense of self you can forget your fears and have a go. 47. Bad Bad Bad. We all have bad days and off days and grim days. Reasons to stay in bed all day. 48. How Long Will It Last? Well, the whole thing can take up to 13 years. But it could all be over very quickly. 49. Clues it's over-done and dusted. What to look out for that you're into the next phase... 50. BUT It's NOT Over Yet. The remnants-bits and pieces to linger over. 51. What we Have Known. Everything sewn up and finished off. All those obstacles have been stepping stones. An excuse for huge generalizations. 52. How Was It For You? Women tell all. Try stopping this lot!