BEING COURAGEOUS IN THE STORM

Many church leaders work hard to avoid family storms in ministry. Perhaps you have been tempted to dodge “that situation” or “that family” as they approach you during Sunday services. Whether you are the church’s senior pastor, youth leader, family life ministry coordinator, elder, or a dedicated Sunday school teacher, you likely hoped someone else would help that family. Everyone feels that way sometimes, even those with years of experience. Yet, just like unpredictable weather in your city, the storms of crises are unlikely to stop. Therefore, we are here to you prepare for the current or next storm. Excellent preparation can equip you to know what to do, where to go for help, and what is likely ahead as the storm continues to rock the boat.

Vincent van Gogh is credited with saying, “The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore.” Jesus walked by the Sea of Galilee and called Peter and Andrew, asking them to become fishers for people. Similarly, church leaders like you have refused to remain ashore. The twelve disciples had no way of knowing the difficult journey ahead when they followed him. Crises and stress would become a new way of life for them.

Yet God did not leave them alone. They had the teachings of Jesus, the Scriptures, the history of Israel, the community of believers, and the Holy Spirit to guide their work. From the world’s perspective, a group of followers of a rabbi who gained few possessions in their lifetime were often shipwrecked, jailed, and far from their own families seemed like failures. But God doesn’t work in the way we expect. He brings beauty from ashes, gladness instead of mourning, praise instead of a faint spirit to build oaks of righteousness (Is 61:3). This is the work of church leaders at their finest when working with families in crisis.

BEING PART OF A FAMILY

No one enters the world without a family. The “family ministry” stereotype includes images of a young couple with little children. Everyone looks perfect. The images convey tranquility, order, and relational perfection, void of tension, conflict, or sorrow. The concept of family is complicated, even messy. It transcends the boundaries of the nuclear unit, extending far beyond the confines of a singular household. You have grandparents raising children, single parents, and foster families in your church. Even those who attend church alone have family members somewhere. One pastor said, “I haven’t seen a ‘normal, typical’ family come to my church in years.” Regardless of one’s life journey, every individual is inherently woven into the fabric of family in ever-changing constellations, including a dynamic and expansive network that reaches across generations and embraces diverse relationships. While contemporary society often emphasizes the nuclear family structure, the true richness of familial experience lies in the extended family’s expansive embrace.

While spouses and parents have unique responsibilities and roles in each other’s lives, they do not always typify the depth of family influence. Grandparents play an essential role in most families and are often the source of transmission of faith.1 Beyond blood ties, the church family is the spiritual family that contributes profoundly to the mosaic of our lives. In recognizing the depth and breadth of these connections, we unveil a broader understanding of family—one that reflects the diverse tapestry of shared experiences, collective wisdom, and enduring bonds that shape the essence of our existence. We believe these family characteristics are closer to the idea of family as laid out in Scripture and church teachings across the millennia.

RESPONDING TO THE CALL FOR COMPASSIONATE MINISTRY

Our voyage begins with a simple yet profound call to compassionate ministry. The heart of Christ’s teachings lies in love and compassion. As his followers who minister in his name, we have a sacred duty to extend compassionate care to those navigating the turbulent seas of family crises. Ministering to families in their darkest hours requires more than just knowledge; it demands a spirit of empathy that mirrors the boundless love of our Savior. The authors of each chapter provide a clear, compassionate vision of the needs and struggles people face in various family crises. Whether families are facing end-of-life care, disability, conflict, or mental illness, we can improve our effectiveness with a compassionate understanding of the needs and dynamics at play when that particular type of storm is underway. That is an important distinction. The crisis is the storm outside the boat, threatening its safety. Too often, families turn toward one another, making the problem internal and everyone less effective. This was the disciples’ response to Jesus in the boat: “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” (Mt 8:25). Our call is to address the storm, not fight with the people who are essential for survival.

DEVELOPING FAMILIES AS THE KEY TO A THRIVING CHURCH

The need has never been greater to address families in crisis in churches everywhere. I don’t need to convince you regarding the hurting of the family, which is well-documented. J. P. De Gance of Communio Ministries has made a compelling case for generational succession, passing down the faith to younger generations through intact families. There is considerable concern about declining church attendance, with weekly attendance dropping nationwide.2 One exception, however, counters this decline in church attendance. Adults who grew up in intact families who regularly attended church and practiced their faith at home stayed in the church.3 While less than half of young adults today enter adulthood with continuously married parents throughout childhood, 80% of people attending church today came from intact married parents across age groups.1 That doesn’t mean single parents and struggling families can’t pass on the faith, but the data is stark. Therefore, anything churches can do to encourage healthy lifelong...