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Henry - The Honey Badger Till Death Do Us Part -  Themistocles Jacks

Henry - The Honey Badger Till Death Do Us Part (eBook)

eBook Download: EPUB
2025 | 1. Auflage
300 Seiten
Bookbaby (Verlag)
979-8-3509-9191-8 (ISBN)
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11,89 inkl. MwSt
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Good things are happening in the tiny African Republic of Malinda, especially for the four women who live at the Heifer Boma, Elspeth Christiaan's remote shamba in the wild bush country of the Northern District. Cassandra's wedding to Major Riley is quickly approaching. So is her performance with the Maatlamotse Symphony Orchestra. And because of her perfect score on the Malindan Bar Exam, she qualified to become a barrister, instead of just a solicitor. Things are going well for Major Riley, too. Commanding General of the Army David Botshelo has looked favorably on plans to triple the size of Riley's band of commandos. Danger Dan Coetzee has taken up residence in a teacher's cabin at the Etobi School west of Nyati. And he seems to spend a lot of time at the Little Hospital helping Doctor Patti the Stewardess. As everyone knows, honey badgers have an extremely acute sense of smell, and Henry thinks they smell very compatible, and when they're together, they reek of oxytocin. Marea Thembekile has finally finished her history of Malinda. It's a massive work, and she worries if it's too long. Patti says to publish it in three volumes. Marea doesn't have the money. But Patti does. Good things are happening at TV2 in Maatlamotse. They hire a beautiful, young host for their morning show. Her name is Reverie!, and she's an instant success. The audience loves her. And no one loves her more intensely than Astro Van Gogh Crescendo, self-described as the greatest artist the world has ever known. That leads to trouble. Cassandra and Riley marry in a beautiful traditional bush country ceremony. Returning from their honeymoon, they make a grisly discovery that leads to a trial. Cassandra accepts the job of defense council. It's a thankless job, and a dangerous one, and Cassandra finds herself in deadly peril. To save her life, and the life of her innocent client, she needs the help of a world-renowned consulting detective. She needs the help of Henry the Honey Badger.

Themistocles Jacks was born years ago to parents much older than himself. He was an ordinary child who exhibited no promise of distinction. His only distinction, besides a lack of distinction, was the happy accident of being in the tiny African republic of Malinda, meeting the most interesting people there, and relating their stories in these books. Of course, the most interesting of the characters is a remarkable honey badger named Henry.
Good things are happening in the tiny African Republic of Malinda, especially for the four women who live at the Heifer Boma, Elspeth Christiaan's remote shamba in the wild bush country of the Northern District. Cassandra's wedding to Major Riley is quickly approaching. So is her performance with the Maatlamotse Symphony Orchestra. And because of her perfect score on the Malindan Bar Exam, she qualified to become a barrister, instead of just a solicitor. Things are going well for Major Riley, too. Commanding General of the Army David Botshelo has looked favorably on plans to triple the size of Riley's band of commandos. Danger Dan Coetzee has taken up residence in a teacher's cabin at the Etobi School west of Nyati. And he seems to spend a lot of time at the Little Hospital helping Doctor Patti the Stewardess. As everyone knows, honey badgers have an extremely acute sense of smell, and Henry thinks they smell very compatible, and when they're together, they reek of oxytocin. Marea Thembekile has finally finished her history of Malinda. It's a massive work, and she worries if it's too long. Patti says to publish it in three volumes. Marea doesn't have the money. But Patti does. Good things are happening at TV2 in Maatlamotse. They hire a beautiful, young host for their morning show. Her name is Reverie!, and she's an instant success. The audience loves her. And no one loves her more intensely than Astro Van Gogh Crescendo, self-described as the greatest artist the world has ever known. That leads to trouble. Cassandra and Riley marry in a beautiful traditional bush country ceremony. Returning from their honeymoon, they make a grisly discovery that leads to a trial. Cassandra accepts the job of defense council. It's a thankless job, and a dangerous one, and Cassandra finds herself in deadly peril. To save her life, and the life of her innocent client, she needs the help of a world-renowned consulting detective. She needs the help of Henry the Honey Badger.

Chapter 2
Cassandra had more in her future than a wedding. The perfect score she had achieved on her bar exam made her a candidate to be a barrister rather than just a solicitor. When she received the news and told the other women at the Heifer Boma, Henry said, “Why does Cassandra need to be a lawyer to work in a coffee shop?”
Marea said, “That’s a barrister, not a barista.”
Henry said, “Oh, that’s too bad. Cassandra makes really good coffee.”
With all the excitement of getting married in little more than a week, plus getting ready to play her viola in the Maatlamotse Symphony Orchestra in three days, Cassandra was not even thinking about her candidacy to become a barrister. But three men seated at a polished table in a well-appointed room in the courthouse in Maatlamotse were.
The three judges on the committee had already rejected all but two of the names on the list of candidates. The senior judge turned to the secretary, a middle aged woman of considerable girth and intelligence who stood three feet to his left.
The secretary said, “There is one more candidate. Her name is Cassandra Hurt and she achieved a perfect score on the bar exam.”
The senior judge said, “A perfect score? I don’t know her name. What firm does she work for?”
She said, “No firm. She lives on a shamba in the wild bush country west of Nyati.”
He said, “A bush girl with a perfect score? Did someone take the test for her?”
The secretary said, “No, she took it herself. I was there. She is a very tall and serious looking woman. And according to her application, she graduated from law school in the United States and was admitted to the bar in the Commonwealth of Virginia and Washington, DC.”
The second judge said, “Hard to believe. Why would someone with those qualifications live in the wild bush?”
The third judge said, “I understand they still judge guilt or innocence up there by making the accused walk on hot coals. If his feet get burned, the verdict is guilty.”
The judges laughed. The secretary said, “She has several letters of reference that praise her highly.”
The senior judge said, “Who are they from?”
She said, “The first reference is from Chief Inspector Cecil Richardson of the Northern District.”
She gave each a copy of the letter. The third judge glanced at the letter and said, “What would a rural policeman know about the law?”
The secretary said, “There’s another from Commanding General David Botshelo.”
She gave each a copy of the letter. The second judge glanced at the letter and said, “What would a foot soldier know about the law?”
The secretary said, “There’s one from the prime minister.”
She gave each a copy of the letter. The senior judge glanced at the letter and said, “What would a politician know about the law? Gentlemen, I think we have completed our work. I move we go to lunch.”
They started to get up. The secretary said, “Rra, there’s one more recommendation.”
The senior judge said, “Alright, let’s see the letter.”
The secretary said, “It’s not a letter. It’s a text. It says, ‘Your Honors, Mma Cassandra Hurt is intelligent, honest and scrupulously fair. I know you strive to be perspicacious and wise. Only fools would reject her candidacy.”
The senior judge said, “How impudent!”
The second judge said, “How insolent!”
The third judge said, “How brazen!”
The senior judge said, “Well, that scuttles any chance that woman has to become a barrister in this court! Who sent that impertinent text?”
The secretary said, “Michael Tsholofelo’s girlfriend.”
The senior judge stiffened. “MTG?”
The secretary nodded. “MTG.”
He cleared his throat. “That is convincing testimony. I have amended my ruling. Please arrange for Mma Hurt to meet us here on Thursday morning at eleven.”
*****
At the same time, there was another meeting taking place three blocks away at the headquarters of TV2. The Boss Man in the corner office looked at the two younger men seated in straight back chairs on the other side of his big desk. They were smiling. He wasn’t.
He said, “I’m not going to sugarcoat this. Our morning show ratings are in the tank. We’re dead last. Our set is ugly, and our talent is not very talented.”
The executive producer said, “When we introduce the new format, new set, and the new host, that will change.”
The Boss Man shook his head. “That should change. But we don’t know if it will. We got the approval to spend a fortune on her. If it works, we’ll be heroes. If it doesn’t, we’ll all be out looking for jobs.”
The marketing director said, “Her ratings in Nairobi were fantastic. And she’s originally from Malinda.”
The Boss Man said, “This is Maatlamotse, not Nairobi. And she left here as a teenager before the war.”
The executive producer said, “We all think her screen test was great.”
The Boss Man said, “We want to think her screen test was great. We’ll have to wait to find out if the public thinks so.”
The marketing director said, “The ad blitz will start on Thursday morning. Print, internet and billboards. Simple message. ‘Reverie! Mornings on TV2’ It will be huge!”
The Boss Man said, “For all our sakes, it better be.”
*****
Miriam had the wedding garments ready. She handed a white thokula to Cassandra and said, “This is just a piece of fabric to wear over the bridal thokula for the first part of the ceremony. Riley’s is basically the same in dark gray.”
Cassandra nodded. Miriam said, “And here are the bride’s thokula and the groom’s thoku.”
The most obvious differences in the garments are that the male thoku wraps to the right; the female thokula wraps to the left and is made of finer material in feminine patterns. The two traditional wedding garments were made from the hide of a single eland. The bride’s was sewn from the soft and pliable belly skin. The groom’s was made from the coarser hide on the animal’s back.
Cassandra said, “They’re beautiful. Should I try mine on?”
Miriam said, “Yes, please. Let’s make sure it’s perfect.”
It was. Patti and Marea had ordered new thokulas for the wedding, and those, too, were perfect. So was the dress that Miriam had made for Patti to wear to the symphony on her first date with Dan.
*****
Danger Dan Coetzee turned off the Molani Road and noticed Patti’s Land Cruiser in front of The Little Dress Shop. He, too, was picking up a thoku to wear to the wedding. It was the same shade of deep blue as Patti’s thokula. She was to be Cassandra’s lady of honor, similar to a maid of honor, but with more responsibility. Danger Dan was to be Riley’s askari, or bodyguard. At 64, Dan was still a formidable presence, and would carry a spear during the ceremony. But Major Riley hardly needed a bodyguard. He commanded a small, highly trained unit at the tip of the spear. In military slang, Riley was a snake eater, not a cake eater. Dan’s role in the wedding was similar to that of best man, and the joke was that the spear was to skewer the groom if he looked like he was going to run away. But there was no chance of that happening. Both Riley and Cassandra were eager for the wedding. And since they had chosen to observe the rules of a traditional bush country marriage and had refrained from sleeping together, they were very eager for the honeymoon for obvious and natural reasons.
Dan parked and approached the door. He heard the women’s voices and decided it was no place for a man. He walked back to his Hilux and checked on his old, three-legged mutt, Tripod. The dog was asleep on the passenger seat. He slept more and more of late, and Dan knew what that meant.
The door of the dress shop opened and all four women emerged.
Dan said, “Howzit, ladies. Did you hear me drive up and come out to tell me how handsome I am and that you’re all madly in love with me?”
The women laughed. Miriam said, “Dan, we were just talking about how words cannot describe how handsome you are and how madly in love with you we all are.”
Dan said, “Well, maybe I should agitate the gravel and split. I don’t want you ladies fighting over me.”
Marea said, “We’ll wait until after Cassandra’s wedding to do that.”
Dan said, “Good idea, I don’t want her dumping Riley in the hopes of snagging me.”
Cassandra said, “It’s tempting, Dan, but I’m six feet tall and Riley is six-three. I want a man who’s taller than I am.”
Dan said, “I’m almost five-eleven… if I hang from a tree limb...

Erscheint lt. Verlag 14.1.2025
Sprache englisch
Themenwelt Literatur Krimi / Thriller / Horror
ISBN-13 979-8-3509-9191-8 / 9798350991918
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