love, loss & loneliness (eBook)

This book is the culmination of my experience navigating the world of romantic relationships in my 20s.I started writing this book in the winter of June 2017, at the start of what would be my biggest heartbreak. At the time, I had no intention of writing a book. It all started as physical diary entries, scribbling nonsensical words of despair with my black gel-ink pen onto tear-stained pages. Eventually as time went on, I started a google doc aptly titled 'thoughts' for instant access as my thoughts began forming into (what I thought at the time) were profound words.And so the words you'll read on these pages were written during my stages of grief and healing. I wrote them on a T1 Western Line train from Central to Blacktown. The driver's seat of a Toyota Camry parked on the side street on a cold, rainy night. A secluded beach after a hike in nature. A solo tiny home getaway in the middle of the Australian bush. A Contiki tour bus in New Zealand. Inside a psychiatric ward after the cops were called for a welfare check. Midnight in my bed. 3am next to a sleeping ex.Six years later, the google doc was spilling with hundreds of thousands of words, and I thought it would be a shame to let them sit idle in the cloud.At the time, writing these words was an expressive outlet for the pain I was feeling. To revisit my past throughout the curation of this book has been a cathartic experience. Sometimes I would linger on a particular passage, in disbelief that I thought or felt a certain way. I've broken up the book into five chapters which documents my grief and healing in chronological order.the big heartache: the desperation of losing someone who was my entire world, and the downward spiral into depression that followed.the long rebound: the toxicity of being in an incompatible relationship out of fear of being alone, while still mourning my past.answer : love yourself: the beginning of my journey towards self-discovery, self-love and healing upon discovering 7 Korean boys who sing and dance.all the wrong tinder boys: navigating the world of online dating, players and cryptocurrency.time heals most wounds: the realisation that painful emotions are a part of life, and it's both a blessing and a curse to feel things so deeply... but that is essentially the beauty of being alive.This book deals with some heavy stuff. It delves deep into moments where I was close to saying goodbye to the world for good. If you're dealing with some heavy stuff yourself, I hope that by the end of the book, you'll walk away feeling like you are capable of overcoming the tragedies in your life.