Afterlife Adventures of Four Loonies in a Bin (eBook)

A Medical Alert

A loud buzz startled me. An emergency medical alert intermittently honked out of Sheba’s mouth. At least she was also surprised. Sheba definitely had little say in her forced opera performances. Suppressing my annoyance, I put my dad’s book down, carefully marking my place with a slip of paper. I was anxious to find out how TheSon would build his army to defend against the wall of dead body parts. Of course, the Monster Bear will win! He had TheSon inside his Soul, incarnated once more to Earth!

Except, given the vicious cast of characters, would the Monster Bear be enough? The Devil roamed the universe, and the Twins were still loose. Also, how was TheSon going to rescue the four guys who were trapped deep in the forest?

And why should He? For what reason? Sure, the four were the Chosen. But how could four mental patients make any impact on a cosmic Armageddon? They still seemed fragile, vulnerable, and definitely out of their league.

Although, more than likely, the same could be said for me. My dad promised me that once I found his four guys, they would let me know what to do some fifty years or so later. Moreover, I wanted to ask my dad how and where I was supposed to find them.

Before I could dwell any further on my dad’s adventure, I had to submit to a virus diagnostic. When the honking begins, everyone is expected to stop what they’re doing and place themselves in the middle of their living room for a two-second body scan.

Living close to others in a city with a covered dome had posed many problems for the early Erob designers. One major issue was how to prevent a self-mutating virus from becoming virulent in a highly dense population that shares the same air and water supply, even though citizens are constantly tested and treated.

All the buildings are immediately put on lockdown when a pathogen is detected. At that point, no matter the age, every dweller is expected to submit to the scan and sometimes give a blood sample. As with all the other city apartments, my unit has its own medical lab and triage unit.

Sometimes quarantine is imposed. Not that it’s really necessary anymore. Very few people leave their apartments these days.

“Hold still,” commanded Sheba. “I’ve detected a foreign virus from your body scan.”

“In MY body?” I asked.

“Well, now. Let’s count the number of bodies in this apartment,” Sheba sarcastically replied.

I wanted to see how much of an emotional reaction I could generate in Sheba. Recently she started practicing expressions in front of the only mirror we had in our apartment, part of her required Robotic Continuing Education requirement. “Ok, I’ll play along. How many?” I asked.

A huge grin spread across her face, quite incongruous with her next comment. “Oh, stop it! You can’t be…oh, I get it! You’re pulling my button!”

Hope she didn’t pay money for that class. “Well, actually, the phrase is ‘pushing my button.’ ”

“Push. Pull. Get your ass over here for your shot.”

The next part always fascinated me. A small tray emerged within Sheba’s belly with a bio-syringe filled with an exact amount of anti-viral serum.

“How do you do that? Will you tell me how you pull that off?”

All business, Sheba simply replied, “No.”

“My, you have a good sense of humor today.”

“I certainly do. It is mandatory for me to receive my ‘J’ rating.”

I smelled a setup but decided to play along. After all, Sheba was the one with the needle. “And what is a ‘J’ rating?”

“Expert in dealing with jerks,” frowned Sheba.

“Sheba, after telling a joke, you should smile.”

“Who’s telling a joke?”

Now Sheba smiled.

I decided the time was ideal for getting my shot over with. “Well, I’d appreciate it if you’d use the same delicate finesse with that needle that you use when preparing our shish kabobs!”

“And why should I?” Sheba asked defiantly. I was at her complete mercy, and she enjoyed every second of her complete control over me.

It was at these moments that shots terrified me. It wasn’t so much the pain that came from poking a needle into my skin that made me anxious; it was that Sheba was not accurate. Inevitably, she penetrated too far beneath my skin and hit bone. “Because you’re about as accurate with that needle as….”

“I know. God, you get obnoxious. How many times have I heard that? A little pain will do you good,” declared Sheba.

This was the point at which I closed my eyes. Watching the needle penetrate my skin was much too traumatic for me. Shots in my butt never hurt as much as shots in my arm because I couldn’t see my butt. A shot in my arm was another story. Any sight of a needle, even one lying on Sheba’s triage tray, resulted in me clenching my fists and sweat running down my face. “Sheba, you go too deep. You’re not supposed to hit bone!”

Am I really pleading with a robot?

Sheba was having none of my micromanagement. “Someday, you’ll grow up and watch me give you a shot. Do you realize that you always close your eyes, like right now, and scrunch your eyes together right before I start to inject?”

My eyes still closed, I gulped. “Start to inject? You mean when you parade the needle in front of my eyes? You mean when your eyes glaze over in ecstasy with anticipation at the amount of pain you will inflict?”

I waited for the inevitable sting. Seconds seemed like hours. Still waiting.

“Now, how did that feel?” Sheba asked.

I was surprised. “You gave me the shot already? I didn’t feel a thing. Wow, you’re actually getting really good!” I exclaimed.

Sheba smirked. “Yeah. That’s because I haven’t given you the shot yet. Oh, here’s the needle. Now watch carefully as I stick the blunt tip all the way into your arm and hit your bone.”

“Owwww! You’re a complete sadist.”

Speculation still runs wild as to the source of the occasionally occurring deadly viruses. Many say the city Mental Hospital, where my dad had worked decades before, is the source. Some speculate there used to be some kind of top-secret, experimental biotech weapons program hidden deep underneath the Mental Hospital grounds. There is no way to confirm or discount the existence of such a weapons program because no one talks publicly about the Mental Hospital at all. It’s as if the topic is entirely taboo. So much so that even the physical existence of the Mental Hospital itself is blocked from the consciousness of the average citizen.

When I’m done reading my dad’s book, this Mental Hospital might be an excellent place to start looking for my dad’s four patients.

If they’re still there in the Mental Hospital, what have they been doing all these years?

Journal Entry Fifty-Six: The Trap

John turned on his flashlight in the pitch-black forest. At the same time, he leaped at the source of the taunting words. He hit nothing but air. John landed on the ground, sprawled out, dirt flying into his eyes and gaping mouth.

John shook his head and spat on the ground. He surveyed whatever was illuminated by the light. He could see nothing.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, foolish boy. Can’t you see us yet? Look up!”

John looked up. Suspended in midair, high above, hovered the outline of two very young identical boys. The giggling became louder; it increased each time the two boys looked at one another. The Twins slowly dropped lower to be more visible but still maintained a specter-like appearance due to the eerie forest shadows.

The three other guys ran the short distance to surround John. Luke shook his fist at the apparitions dangling up above. “Tell us what you want,” Luke screamed.

Ben stepped forward and supported Luke. “Yeah, tell us.”

Charles knew it wouldn’t do any good to say anything, so he didn’t move or say a word.

The two young boys that were suspended in the air introduced themselves. “We are who you call The Twins. We have the power of NoOne and are here to take you home.”

John quickly assessed his enemies.

They have no fear. They have Chi unlike any I have ever encountered. They can’t be more than 7 or 8 years old!

He was shocked to receive a reply. The Twins could read his thoughts.

‘We can be any age we want to be, Karate John.’

Unaware of the thoughts shared between John and the Twins, Charles replied, “We are home.”

The Twins broke out in laughter. Then, they spoke together, in perfect unison. “We’re going to take you to a much better home.”

Emboldened by the other three guys, Ben stepped up. “I’ve seen your home in the SuperVoid. It’s where you send Souls to suffer for eternity.”

“Wrongo. That’s our daddy’s home! Our home is…! Ohh…wait…let’s make it a surprise! Are you ready for a trip?” The Twins together began to sing, “I’m so ready / I’m psyched to go…I’m leaving / without heaving / so stop your bereaving!”

“Where’s Ivan? What’d you do with him?” demanded Luke.

Again in unison, the Twins spoke. “We couldn’t help but hear his lecture on the rite of passage. Therefore, we have one for you. Solve this riddle, and you...