Full Metal Panic! Short Stories Volume 4 (eBook)

“The crime was definitely premeditated,” he went on. “The methodological MO suggests intent. But what in the world did the culprit have against snails?”

“Maybe they just really wanted to eat ’em?” the treasurer, Okada Hayato, whispered as he listened from behind.

Sousuke stood there for a while, silently, scrutinizing the cooked snails and the soy sauce bottle sitting beside them. “That is possible.”

“I mean, that’s definitely what it is?” the treasurer prompted him.

“No... That could be a red herring meant to throw us off the trail,” Sousuke decided. “Similar to when a murderer robs the home of a victim in order to draw attention away from more personal motives.”

The treasurer fell silent.

Sousuke, now chief of the task force for the Daiku Maryu King-gai investigation, folded his arms and sighed. “One way or another, these snails were murdered. We must find the culprit and bring them to justice.”

At this, Kaname spoke up again, timidly. “Are you... Are you going to try to find out who did it?”

“Of course we are,” he told her. “We’ll search every nook and cranny, find the one who murdered this precious gift, and make them regret what they’ve done.”

“Regret it... how?”

“A fine question. We will likely parade them around the school, then give them a public flogging, followed by execution.”

Kaname gulped.

“We may also wish to hang their body in front of the school gate for three days as an example to others.” Sousuke sounded completely serious.

Kaname took an unconscious half-step back. “Th-That... seems a little bit harsh. After all, we don’t know for certain that they had malicious intentions. It might be some kind of misunderstanding,” she said faintly.

Sousuke shook his head. “Unacceptable naivety from one of your high office. The motive is irrelevant—society couldn’t function if pleading ignorance was sufficient for acquittal.”

“I suppose... I suppose you’re right, but...”

“Blood must be answered in blood. This has been the tradition for thousands of years,” he said firmly, just before he began to pace around the home economics classroom, inspecting the scene.

“Ah, well... I’m heading out for a minute...” Kaname, dazed and limp, left the room behind.

She walked up to the nearby water fountain, taking a drink to soothe her parched throat. As she wet her lips, she racked her brain over what to do...

“Ka-na-me-chaaan...” The treasurer, Okada Hayato, arrived beside her at the fountain, grinning broadly.

“What is it?”

“You ate those snails, didn’t you?”

Kaname flinched. How did you know?! she wanted to ask, but she swallowed down the urge and looked away. “What... What in the world are you talking about?”

“Ha ha ha... Don’t play dumb with me. You had a toothpick in your mouth when I passed you in the hall. And you were coming from the home economics room.”

“Geh...”

“Plus, you’re the best cook in the student council. It all just clicked.”

“Argh...” She’d just begun to hope it was all over.

But Okada looked at her meaningfully and said, “Relax. I’m willing to not tell Sagara or the others.”

“What?”

“But only on one condition.” Okada raised his index finger.

“What’s... What’s the condition?” Kaname looked at him nervously and gulped.

The short-statured blackmailer smiled a smile that was far toothier than it needed to be. “Heh heh heh... I believe you have a CD autographed by JB. You got it when you lived in New York... It’s a very rare item.”

“Hrk!” said Kaname, her expression tensing up.

“I’d sure love to own it!” Okada declared brightly.

“N-No! That’s... that’s... that’s my life!”

“Is it really?”

“Of course it is!” Kaname exclaimed. “You can’t possibly expect me to...!”

“I understand... Then I’ll have to tell them everything.” Okada turned around, about to head back to the home economics room.

Kaname grabbed his arm. “Wait, Okada-kun.”

“What is it? You said you wouldn’t give it up, right?”

“I-Isn’t there anything else you want? A poster from when he performed in Japan, or—and I admit, this has nothing to do with anything—a Fumo-Fumo Bonta-kun doll? I’ve got lots of good stuff! Well? What about it?!” Kaname begged him.

Okada smiled. “Please,” he said pityingly. “I don’t want any of that crap.”

“C’mon, be flexible. Please! Take something else and spare me this torment!”

“No. Now, let me go.”

“Please don’t tell them. I really didn’t mean any harm!” Her eyes filled with tears, and she unconsciously gave his arm a good wrench... just as Okada slipped on the wet floor of the fountain area.

“What the—” He sailed through the air, did a half-flip, and—crack! A dull sound rang out as the back of Okada’s head hit the floor. He laid there, sprawled out and motionless.

“O-Okada-kun?” Kaname’s eyes went wide. She crouched down next to him, shaking him. But he simply lay there, silent except for the occasional groan of pain. There was no one else near the fountain. In other words... no witnesses.

Th-This means... She hadn’t meant to silence him. Yet somehow or other, someone who knew about her crime and was threatening to blackmail her was lying on the ground in front of her, motionless. Feeling almost like a murderer, Kaname looked around in a panic. What do I do? she fretted. Drag the body somewhere and bury it... No, no! I need to take him to the nurse’s office, explain the situation... No, I can’t do that! They’d know what I did!

Every second, footsteps from the home economics room drew nearer. They were still around the corner, though, and couldn’t see her yet.

“Okada-kun, Chidori. We’re about to bag the evidence. Could you help? Oh... where have they gone?” It was Sousuke. They’d been gone long enough that he’d come to check on them.

Geh, this isn’t good! Ah, what do I do? What do I do?! Confused and terrified by the strange chain of events, Kaname launched into a complete fit of hysteria. First, she tried dragging Okada away by the legs, then ran in Sousuke’s direction, then did a brief, spontaneous tap dance, then started removing her uniform, then stopped, then—

Whoosh! In the end, she opted to run off in the other direction. As she flew down the stairway, she could hear Sousuke’s voice behind her.

“Okada?! What’s wrong? Who got you? Speak to me! Okada—”

Repeating quiet but urgent apologies under her breath, Kaname brushed away her tears and kept running.

The sun was setting on the strange day after class, bathing the school building in its orange glow. On the athletic field, the baseball and soccer clubs finished their practices, and a saxophone from the brass band played a sorrowful melody from the roof.

Inside the student council room, Sousuke and six other student council members gathered around Kagurazaka Eri, who had finally recovered from her shock. Okada, the treasurer, was still sleeping in the nurse’s office, and student council president Hayashimizu hadn’t yet returned from the principal’s office.

Kaname was present as well. She looked terribly uncomfortable, with slumped shoulders and a permanently plaintive expression, but she’d responded to the call on the intercom and returned to the student council room from wherever she’d been hiding.

“Now, everyone,” declared Sousuke, who was wearing his task force chief armband. “Having concluded an investigation of the scene and interrogations, I have ascertained several things about the situation. The investigation itself was not without its own tragedies, but I believe I have finally ascertained the culprit in the murder of the Daiku Maryu King-gai.” Sousuke’s tone was calm, but at the same time, grave. “Now, as I mentioned before the investigation began, there were many things about the situation that suggested an inside job—in other words, that the culprit is someone inside this room. That is what my judgment and my instinct both tell me.”

While everyone else in the room just looked nervous, Kaname began shaking her head in agony.

“Someone in this room? Is that true, Sagara-kun?” Eri asked, just to be sure.

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied gravely. “I find it unfortunate, but it is the only conclusion to which I can come.”

“So, who is the culprit?”

“Ma’am. The culprit is...”

The entire group leaned forward.

Sousuke waited a few moments, then pointed dramatically. “The culprit is—you, Ms. Kagurazaka!” he declared.

Three seconds passed. Nobody in the group reacted, including Eri herself. At last she said, “Excuse me?” while frowning, her head tilted to the side.

Sousuke nodded gravely, folded his arms, and embarked upon his lengthy explanation. “You very nearly had me fooled, ma’am. I should have realized it when you first told me to leave the snails behind. Why leave such precious snails in a...