God of Winter (eBook)

Matt Menter (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2015 | 1. Auflage
244 Seiten
Bookbaby (Verlag)
978-1-68222-647-6 (ISBN)

An old king writes letters to the lover he is forbidden to be with. Through his tales of love, murder, revenge, and war, the letters shed light on one man's struggle between serving his country and being with the man he loves.

DAY 1900

Good morning, my darling. I do hope that this letter finds you well. I hope you are seeing many beautiful sights this morning. I hope that wherever you are, you are somewhere beautiful.

I must tell you a secret. Last night, I rode out in the early morning hours, completely alone, to see about a tale I had only heard in passing.

I went into the Evergreen Mounds. There is a cave there, where a witch lives. Everyone believes her to be an old fool. They say she is merely a drunkard who claims she has magic when all she spouts is a breath of mead. I don’t believe such tales of doubt. Not when I have seen her power on display for myself. I know there is much more to her. She is a sorceress of the highest order.

She knows about the legends of this land. She speaks to the trees, convenes with the animals. She knows of the magic that has found its way into my kingdom.

I rode out for what seemed like hours. I came upon her hiding place. There was a fire burning in the distance. I drew closer. It was a small structure, covered in rocks and pebbles and branches, affixed together with stone and mud. I had a slight fear of entering, but I did not come here to simply turn around. I came for answers.

She was there, just as I knew she would be. She was huddled in a corner, her arms wrapped in close to her. She was shaking. Even against the warm fire, she was freezing cold. I saw her face, icicles hung from her nose. She looked like a small child, trying to keep warm during the harshest of winters.

She spoke to me. And when she did, she didn’t move her lips. She was inside my head. Her voice filling the cavities of my brain.

“Hello, old friend. Your hidden desires found their way into my mind a few days ago. I know what you long for. You seek the Crown of the Immortals. You believe it will help you face the new evil that breathes on your neck. You have been listening to too many folktales, old friend. Power is what you are after. The kingdom is showing signs of wear, isn’t it? You see it, too. You fear it. The doors will shatter. The barricades will fall. You see this and it frightens you so. You want to hold onto it, even when it slips further and further from you. Old age brings with it many failures.”

“They won’t need you very much longer. You realize that, do you not? They see you break. They know how you stumble about the days. The slower it takes you to rise from bed, the struggle you have putting on your armor. What was once is now gone. They know you are failing them. And they will turn on you. Just as they turned on the king before you. It will all end. And soon. Very, very soon.”

The words fell into me like daggers. I don’t want to admit the truth, but the witch was right on. It’s all slipping from me, and I have no answer for it. Like stopping a flood, I can’t grasp onto anything. I am falling away. And soon, the dark will take me. I’ll be no more.

I will write back. I thought I could recount the story in greater detail, but everything is leaving my mind. I need to lie down.

DAY 2000

I miss you terribly. I damn each passing night that we have to be separated. But time is a constant battle we can never understand.

I stay up nights, and you aren’t next to me. I work at my desk, and you aren’t there to touch my neck, ease my troubled nerves, or assure me that all will be well.

I do not know how people get through life without someone beside them. I do not know how people walk on through the years without someone holding their hand. I fear I will know a life like this sooner rather than later. I know it now. Truthfully, it aches at my heart to know you are so far away. I want nothing more than to take you into my arms and stay with you forever.

Damn the sword and damn the wars. Bring hellfire to the monsters that lurk in the forests, and the voices that whisper against me. I do not need them. I need none of this. I need only you. I am fed up with the war tribunals, the disastrous reports on the lands that surround these walls, the constant bickering. I am so fatigued with the barrage of criminals, the politicians with their faceless smiles. And every single person who has a complaint. Not one person has a kind thing to say about me.

I sit at my throne, and I listen. I listen to the petty fights, the worries over money, the battles between neighbors. I ask for some respite, but there is never good news. Everyday, I must face the tyranny of life. The winter will be longer, the summer will be hotter than it has ever been. A bitter knight who defames me in the town square will gain a following. A a new disease will hit the common people and take their lives. It never ends. There are days where I have little tolerance for any of it. There are days when I wish I could leave the walls and start my life over again, with you by my side.

I need you here. You make me see clearly. You ease my mind. You lighten my restless heart. You give me the confidence that such squabbles are merely cracks in the road. Without you, I get so lost I fear I’ll never find safe ground.

Please. Come home to me.

DAY 2010

My brother and I are not on good terms at the moment. You know how he can be. Always questioning me, always trying to oppose me. He has always believed himself to be more deserving of the crown. He hates seeing me atop this throne. He scrapes at my heels, waiting for me to make the wrong move. Then, he will pounce. And I will have nothing.

He is no longer the brother I once knew. The one who I would race with, through the briar patches. The one who took my hand as we jumped into the pond. He once smiled at me. He once called me his family. No longer, though. It pains me to think how easily love can wane. The person you once called family, and loved so dearly, soon becomes someone unrecognizable. I always held onto the belief that the two of us would grow old together. We would share memories and moments. He seemed to be invincible. But, like many things, that is no longer the case. Families come apart faster than you think.

I should have seen the warning signs. Even as children, he carried in his heart such dark jealousies towards me. I cannot help being born first. But I’m afraid it was more than a simple matter of birth order. I found making friends easier than he did. I was able to command the attention of my peers, when he struggled mightily to be heard. He floundered when I prospered. He tried his hardest, when I gave the least amount of effort and still came out the champion. In foot races, I always won. In matters of school, he always lagged behind.

The same can be said of how our parents saw us. He was the troubled one, he was the one that never excelled in school. They struggled many nights with him. The tutors, and the practitioners, found themselves burdened by early wrinkles from all the hours of work they had to put in. I would watch him, lording over his books. He always put such great pressure on himself. I would come home, finish my chores and receive heaps of praise. I was young, I relished it.

Where tasks came easily to me, as did the accolades, the same cannot be said for my brother. He won’t believe me, but I used to pray that life would be easier on him. I wished that the simplicity of my life could be transferred to him. Then, perhaps, he would be able to breathe, even if for a moment. He would be able to quiet his mind. Looking back, I wish I supported him more. I wish he could have known how I always admired him.

I remember the day we last spoke. It was the day our mother died. I sat at her bedside. He stood in the shadows, propped up against the wall. I offered my hand for him to join me, but he refused. Our mother looked at us. She whispered “I love you” into my ear. She turned to face my brother. She was about to speak. The words were so close to leaving her lips. But before she could, the hand of Death took her into his arms. She closed her eyes. There was no music left in her heart.

In that one moment, all the years of anger and pain could have been taken away. All the suffering and the struggle — so easily it could have faded. If she only said those words. To him. Alas, she never got to say the words. And my brother was never able to have closure. The days of hope were gone. Our mother was gone.

I met him in his quarters later that evening. He was writing at his desk. I could tell, from his body language alone, that he was a changed man. His shoulders sat differently, there was a coldness emanating off his frame. His feet stayed firm to the floor. He always liked to cross his legs and point his toes. Not this evening. When I opened the door, there was no sign of the brother I once knew.

I asked for his hand, he refused it. I told him that our mother loved the two of us. She wanted to speak the words, but she could not. And, I added, the last words of the dying do not matter. They do not encompass the life that was led. They are merely your final words. They do not mean what you think they do. Do not give them the weight you so desperately want to give them.

He stood up. He turned to face me.

“Do not placate me. Do not tease me. Do not try to make this better. It’s done. All the past. It’s over. I am not nipping at your feet like I once did. Your last words do mean something, brother. They mean the world. But if you want to speak about the life that was led, I ask you to think back on our years. Where was mother when I was struggling? Where was mother when father would scream at me, call me a...

Erscheint lt. Verlag	18.11.2015
Sprache	englisch
Themenwelt	Literatur ► Fantasy / Science Fiction ► Fantasy
Themenwelt	Literatur ► Fantasy / Science Fiction ► Science Fiction
ISBN-10	1-68222-647-6 / 1682226476
ISBN-13	978-1-68222-647-6 / 9781682226476

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