Queer-Affirming Pastoral Care (eBook)

PERCEPTION

II Context

1 “Outside the box”4

For many within church environments, lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, inter*, and queer people (LSBTQI+) in Germany still live outsiders’ lives, because they consider their lives and gender identities outside “the box” of the norm. However, a lot has changed in the Protestant regional churches in Germany over the past 30 years. Most regional churches will now marry or at least bless lesbian and gay couples in church services (see Verband der Evangelischen Studierendengemeinden in Deutschland 2019, pp. 13–16). LGBTQI+ pastors need not fear for their jobs any longer, if they decide to live openly in a non-heterosexual relationship, or if their gender identity does not fit the gender binary. That does not mean, though, that issues related to diverse lifestyles or gender identities have vanished.

Heated debates, especially around biblical passages that broach the issue of homosexuality, are still very common and have hardly changed in terms of argumentation. Attitudes toward biblical interpretation and conclusions drawn remain controversial as well.

2 Learning paths

Nevertheless, the church as an organization has learned a few things from the debates held over the past thirty years. Since the 1980s, almost every Protestant church in Germany has held regional and state church synods (church parliaments) to discuss and argue the assessment and handling of different sexual orientations and gender identities. The issues have been debated back and forth and then placed in the hands of theological committees. Church boards and church groups have taken polls. The Protestant Church in Germany (EKD) as well as the regional churches have published, hotly debated and revised statements and guidelines, and then debated them all over again. The whole issue seemed to be stuck in a never-ending loop of discussion, without producing anything close to a change of position. It was not until committees and synods started listening to full-time and volunteer LGBTQI+ employees, instead of speaking about them, that the pattern was broken and something began to shift. Since then, a variety of transformational processes have been witnessed in this area.

3 #OutInChurch

The pace of change has also increased in the Roman Catholic Church in Germany in recent years.5 The rate of change has sped up dramatically over the past three years in particular: in May 2021, blessing ceremonies were held in over one hundred Catholic parishes throughout Germany under the banner #LiebeGewinnt (LoveWins), which explicitly invited same-sex couples to receive a blessing. In January 2022, the documentary “Wie Gott uns schuf: Coming-out in der katholischen Kirche” (As G*d made us: Coming out in the Roman Catholic Church) was broadcast on ARD after 125 Catholic Christians came out as queer as part of the campaign #OutInChurch. Some of them featured in the documentary. The campaign was flanked by a broad social media event, during which all participants chose to show their faces in photos and used a headline sentence to communicate why they were participating in the #OutInChurch campaign (cf. Brinkschröder/Ehebrecht-Zumsande/Gräwe/Mönkebüscher/Werner 2022; see also Gräwe/Johannemann/Klein 2021). Since January 2022, over 300 queer Roman Catholic Christians have also joined the campaign. This type of public coverage of the topic is unprecedented for the Roman Catholic Church in Germany. In response, various dioceses signaled that those involved in the campaign need not fear any consequences under labor law. At the same time, the establishment of queer-affirming pastoral care services is progressing in the dioceses. The Diocese of Mainz, for instance, officially appointed two pastoral theologians for rainbow pastoral care in April 2022 (see Diocese of Mainz 2022). The Roman Catholic Church Days held at the end of May 2022 in Germany, also gave individuals from #OutInChurch significant coverage on several panels and across other formats, thereby creating further publicity for the topic.

Nevertheless, in many Christian congregations, it is still not possible for church employees to openly live their lives, whatever the denomination. They do not come out for fear of rejection and prejudice. Too many of them have experienced exclusion and humiliation in their lives, especially in church environments, when choosing to come out. This has often resulted in telling stressful white lies and leading double lives (see Lesben- und Schwulenverband Deutschland (LSVD) 2021). In other places, however, full-time and voluntary activists are now able to go about their work completely unaffected by the issue.

4 Pluralization of sexual orientations, life forms and gender identities

Dealing with the above-mentioned areas has become more relaxed in many places. Encounters with real-life LGBTQI+ employees and volunteers in congregations and church institutions in particular have shown rejection and reservations to diminish over time, when people meet or work together in everyday life. Once prejudice meets real-life people face to face and preconceived ideas are replaced by concrete experiences, many of these fears dissipate.

Openly lesbian, gay, and bisexual parishioners, pastors, and church staff have changed the attitudes of church leaders and many parishioners with their presence over the past thirty years (see Söderblom 2013). In their wake, trans* pastors and employees have also begun to be more open about their transition in the church environment. As a result, matters of gender identity have become more visible and are being discussed in many more places.6 There are an increasing number of “rainbow families” – lesbian, gay or queer couples who live as blended families with children in their parsonage/vicarage or church environment. Admittedly, there remain problems and reservations and conflicts to be overcome here as well. But we also witnessed increasing incidences of rainbow families being warmly welcomed into church life. Albeit delayed, a diversity of lifestyles and a softening of the gender binary are becoming more and more evident in church environments.

5 Role models for self-acceptance

The most important step in this transformative process came about by the refusal of those affected to be portrayed solely as ‘problem cases’ in an otherwise heteronormative and binary world. Instead, they self-confidently showed (the majority) that the opening up of churches and church spaces for LGBTQI+ people led to church institutions and congregations becoming more colorful, joyful, and humane places. Furthermore, they proved that LGBTQI+ pastors and church employees who live their lives openly with all their various gender identities, represent a model in lived self-acceptance (see Häneke 2019). This is because those who are open about themselves in congregations have already reflected on the complex and often difficult relationship between faith, gender identity and sexuality and have taken a stand on it. In this way, they can act as encouraging role models for young people in search of their gender identity and their own way of doing faith and life.7

LGBTQI+ people in church congregations and church institutions offer important resources in regard to coexistence:

– Body knowledge: what it is like to feel different and to exist on the fringes. This knowledge teaches sensitivity, mindfulness, and appreciation for anyone who feels insecure or uprooted.

– Experiential knowledge about minority life: This knowledge teaches us to pay respect and attention to someone regardless of skin color, origin, age, gender identity, sexual orientation, and physical ability.

– Stress knowledge relating to white lies and double lives: This knowledge warns us against approaching others with self-righteous arrogance and by exerting moral pressure, but listening and perceiving them without judgement.

People with this experiential knowledge clearly convey that nothing about them is deficient or wrong, but that they, like everyone else, are images of G*d. In this way, they provide basic theological education by virtue of their own experiences.

6 Respectful pastoral care as an initial spark for commitment

LGBTQI+ adolescents and young adults in particular are still afraid to come out at school, university, at their place of vocational training or within their peer group. They fear gloating, insults or even violence; the suicide rate within this cohort remains many times higher than among heterosexual youth (see Schinzler 2018; Söderblom 2015, pp. 259–270). However, when young people see that lesbian or gay pastors or non-binary pastors and church staff are self-confident regarding their sexual orientation or gender identity, and at the same time respected in the congregation, this is encouraging for many. They realize that being different is not bad or wrong. This is also true in Christian university congregations. Feedback from those seeking advice shows that the fear threshold is lower for them to approach queer pastors, to come to them during office hours and talk about their problems, as they neither fear moral preaching nor punishment. In this way, pastoral care can often offer preventative measures. Teenagers and young adults are encouraged to stand up for themselves and it is not uncommon for them to become involved in community activities and queer-affirming projects later.

From my own pastoral practice, I know that it is not only significant...