Commended (eBook)

Preface

Our Joy in His Pleasure

What if much of what we believe about pleasing God is remarkably wrong? Would that cause you to question? To reevaluate? To ponder? What if it were much simpler than we thought? What if we could experience ongoing joy in the assurance of God’s affirmation, approval, and pleasure, even on our worst days? And why is this experience of joy so important? Exploring answers to these questions will make all the difference as we pursue God.

Like a GPS warning “recalculating” prompts us to reconsider our current route, certain events trigger our need to evaluate life. Marriage, divorce, birth, death, promotion, job loss, midlife crisis, and other unexpected intrusions may prompt big questions such as: Why am I here? What is my purpose? Is there a God? And if so, what does it take to please Him, and why would it matter? For me, an unplanned retirement at sixty-seven years of age in August of 2021 spurred such a reflection.

Admittedly, life’s road behind me is much longer than that which lies in front. I had settled the question “Is there a God?” in 1971 as a senior in high school when I discovered Him in a new light. The joy of this discovery—of a personal God who loves, forgives, and takes great pleasure in me—was palpable. It was a joy that would define and impact the rest of my life. Yet I soon discovered this joy was under constant attack on multiple fronts.

Assaults on Joy

We all face trials as broken people living in a broken world. I experienced distress resulting from two Ds in chemistry my freshman year in college, quashing my plans for veterinary school—I eventually graduated in three years and went on to graduate school in counseling. Then there was the vulnerability of falling in love with a girl who was not yet in love with me—in short time she said yes, and is still saying yes, forty-eight years later. Not to mention the weight of career changes from marriage and family counselor to business jet pilot, missionary, pastor, and back to pilot, and job losses (at least one of which was partially self-inflicted) that assailed my joy. But all of these setbacks were temporary, with joy returning even before the storms passed.

The most insidious assault on my joy, however, has been religion. Or more accurately, religiosity. It is a counterfeit religion devoid of relationship. It is the pull of performance, demands of dos and don’ts, and the appeal of appearances, taking what God intends to be a faith that frees and corrupting it into a religion that restrains. It is constant, yet subtle. It results in an affected piety and zeal designed to impress man, but it nauseates God. It distorts the reality of what pleases God and results in His pleasure and affirmation, making His approval and commendation seem impossible. And because it seems impossible, we pursue religious activity and the approval of man that never satisfies as an attempt to bolster our identity, sense of meaning, and happiness. As a person of faith, it is my desire to live a life pleasing to God, one that He commends, to experience joy in my relationship with Him, but how do I get this right?

I have seen many people from all walks of life, all over the world, even those who have known God for many years, get it wrong. I include myself. Although my church experience has been consistently grace-oriented over the years, I am often ensnared by the lure of religious performance. Some days bring regret about what I have left undone, remorse at a distasteful thought or action, or arrogant pride in some accomplishment, insight, or act of service. I imagine God’s disappointment at my failings, or His approval at my attempts at self-justification. How do I take pleasure in my relationship with Him on such days? I must be clear on what actually pleases Him and what brings Him joy. It is the only way to resist the seduction of a religious spirit. It is a spirit Jesus confronted regularly in His encounters with the Pharisees of His time. It is still active today.

The Great Need

This begs the question: why do I want to write this book? To paraphrase the words of C.J. Mahaney, author of Humility: True Greatness, anyone who would presume to write on pleasing God should be immediately considered suspect.a I am no exception. I am not there. This is a journey of discovery. I have written this as much for myself as for you. It is based on a sermon series I shared in 2014. It forced me back to the basics, and over time, my discovery of what actually pleases God and brings Him joy has weakened the influence of the religious spirit and rekindled the joy of my first encounters with Christ.

Resisting the religious spirit and walking in the consistency of the joy of the Father’s approval, affirmation, and pleasure becomes even more important as the assaults on our joy increase. Some troubling signs reveal a great need. Researchers point to recent declines in happiness, mental health, and an increase in anxiety and depression, especially among Gen Z.b

What are we to make of these revelations? Certainly, the isolation caused by the COVID-19 pandemic is a significant factor and emphasizes the importance of relationships. However, meaningful relationships and the joy they bring have been in decline for several decades. Harvard professor and researcher Arthur Brooks explains, “I believe the happiness crisis in America is at its core a crisis of our personal and shared sense of meaning. The institutions of meaning have all weakened dramatically in the past two decades.”1

Brooks goes on to describe four institutions of meaning: faith, family, friendship, and work. He notes religious affiliation and practice have dropped significantly, marriage rates have fallen by 38 percent since 2000, and the percentage of people with fewer than three close friends has doubled since 1990.2 Don’t miss the fact that the drop in religious affiliation and practice implies a decline in relationships, even among people of faith, and a decline in personal relationships with God. This is critical. It is possible to have an accurate theological knowledge of God’s love, care, and provision, which will bring a measure of security, peace, and joy in life’s trials. But deeper, consistent joy is born in affirming relationships. Knowing we are valued and approved, warts and all, is essential in forming our sense of identity and purpose. The religious spirit cannot provide this. It does not affirm. It demands we work harder, hide our faults, and put on a false front. It is a fraud.

The Great Answer

What if pursuing God’s affirmation and approval is the answer to finding our purpose, joy, and happiness? What if experiencing His joy and pleasure could strengthen the weakened institutions of meaning impacting our lives and demolish the draw of the religious spirit?

Our motivation for this pursuit is the key to its success and reward. Do we seek to justify ourselves, to earn God’s approval? This approach leads only to more desperation, instability, and pain. However, if we seek to bring joy to the One who loved us first, our relationship with Him deepens, and we are on the proper path. As we look for road signs to guide the way as we travel, we want to recognize what brings God joy, receives His commendation, and merits His approval. It’s probably not what you think.

What drew you to this book? Do you long to receive a commendation from Jesus?

Perhaps you are well aware of His love for you, of the joy He takes in your fellowship with Him, and you long to bring Him greater joy. I invite you to discover what He values.

Maybe you have tasted joy in your relationship with Him but have been lured away by a performance-based religion and long to rediscover that which you first knew. I invite you to be freed from external expectations and find joy in His heart for you as you return to your first love.

Perhaps you feel you could never please Him. You may have grown up in a religious environment focusing on what to believe, how to act, and what to say, and never discovered the joy of a personal relationship with God. I invite you to discover His longing for you and experience the joy of His affirmation and love as He reveals Himself on our journey together.

Maybe you believe your life is extraordinarily normal with no great accomplishments to offer Him. I invite you to discover the simplicity of pleasing God.

Possibly you have never heard the words “I’m proud of you” from a parent or spouse and feel you could never do enough to please, assuming God shares this disappointment. I invite you to hear His word: “You are my beloved child, in whom I am well pleased.”

Perhaps faults and failures assail you and you believe all is lost, you are too far gone, and God could never love you. I invite you to discover that Jesus’s greatest affection is meant for you.

Maybe you have heard of Jesus and wonder what it takes to please Him, to be accepted by Him. I invite you to discover that He is pleased with your curiosity, and to have it satisfied.

Or could it be that you have distanced yourself from God, assuming you must toe the line and follow rigid rules to gain His approval? You might believe He is angry at you. If so, I hope you will stay with me, because you have been fed a religious lie. As pastor and author Alan Wright observes in his book The Power to Bless, “Religion says, ‘I messed up. My father is going to be so mad.’ The Gospel says, ‘I messed up; better call Dad.’”3

I have good...