preface
In my late teens, through the grace of the Holy Spirit and the tenacity of a generous Southern Baptist pastor, I had a profound encounter with Christ that radically altered the course of my life. I came to know God in a very real, tangible, and personal way, and I learned that Christ was truly who He claimed to be. This encounter so transformed me that over the next fifteen years I spent many hours studying Scripture and the early Church fathers, eventually completing this phase of my journey by converting to Catholicism. My conversion provided the next significant leap in my life of faith as I quickly realized that I could not sit passively in the pew each Sunday and go about my life as if nothing had happened. Christ was calling me to something more. He was real; and His death, His suffering, His love, and His presence were drawing me into a deeper relationship with Him. Christ had clearly saved me from a life of darkness and despair. He had given me the gift of His body in the Eucharist and in His Church. How then could I fail to answer His call and give back to Him all that He asked of me?
I was compelled, through the prompting of the Holy Spirit and the guidance of the Church, to find my way to deeper union with Christ. But where to begin? The idea of exploring the vast depths of the Church’s spiritual wealth was a great challenge; I found it daunting. Should I pursue Franciscan, Carmelite, Ignatian, or any of the many rich spiritualities and movements of the Church? What was the best way for me to grow in prayer and virtue? How could I best use the gifts and talents God had given me to serve Him and His Church?
In conversing with faithful Catholic friends, I happened across the idea of spiritual direction and was intrigued. In Protestant circles, we had mentors and mutual accountability; spiritual direction was an interesting twist on these ideas and I immediately began searching for more information. I was surprised to find very little that was helpful. While there is a lot of information available on the topic, I felt that much of it had the potential to be spiritually harmful for someone who was committed to the Church and the exclusive claims of Christ, and yet unfamiliar with Church teachings related to mystical and ascetical theology.
After searching and studying for about a year, I found my way into my first spiritual direction relationship. My relationship with this director and those since have been tremendously fruitful. Through this powerful resource, I have grown at a pace and depth in prayer and virtue that I had only experienced following my initial conversion, which was nothing less than radical. My relationship with Christ is deeper, my faith is stronger, and my sense of purpose and direction in life is firmly rooted in the reality of God’s will and God’s ways (by His mercy). Although my own progress is often difficult for me to see—my sins and weaknesses seem far more evident and abundant than my virtues—and while I fully recognize that I have a long way to go (my wife can attest to that!), the benefits of spiritual direction have been profound!
Yet, even with all these gains, I had had one significant, ongoing challenge: a lack of clear direction and expectations regarding the process, roles, and responsibilities of my spiritual director and me. Although I searched far and wide, I was unable to find a resource like the one you hold in your hands. From conversations with hundreds of people both within and outside of spiritual direction, I learned that many of those who desire to develop a more meaningful relationship with Christ through spiritual direction have encountered the same or similar challenges. This provided me further impetus to write this book.
Before we jump in, a little more background might be helpful regarding the approach and inspiration for this book. My entry into Catholicism has been a soul-altering adventure. Like any person of goodwill who uncovers something good, beautiful, and true, I am impassioned about sharing it with others. Empowered by His mercy and love, I am committed to giving my life to knowing Him and making Him better known to as many people as I can. Of course, in the end it is all about God’s grace and the eternal sacrifice Christ made for all of us. Nevertheless, it is clear that we have the responsibility to ensure that we deliver our souls to Him in a way that’s in keeping with the reality of His grace. How do we do that? We commit our lives to a relentless and joyful pursuit: the pursuit of finding the greatest and most fulfilling love relationship that any of us can experience in this life. A lived relationship with Christ brings the greatest love, joy, and peace that can be known in this life. A beautiful old Quaker hymn sums it up well:
My life flows on in endless song:
Above earth’s lamentation,
I catch the sweet, tho’ far-off hymn
That hails a new creation.
Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear the music ringing;
It finds an echo in my soul—
How can I keep from singing?
What tho’ my joys and comfort die?
The Lord my Saviour liveth;
What tho’ the darkness gather round?
Songs in the night he giveth.
No storm can shake my inmost calm,
While to that refuge clinging;
Since Christ is Lord of heaven and earth,
How can I keep from singing?
I lift my eyes; the cloud grows thin;
I see the blue above it;
And day by day this pathway smoothes,
Since first I learned to love it.
The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart,
A fountain ever springing;
All things are mine since I am his—
How can I keep from singing?
In keeping with this passion to sing of Christ through writing, several years ago I started an award-winning blog with the help of Father John Bartunek on faithful Catholic spirituality called “Roman Catholic Spiritual Direction” (
www.SpiritualDirection.com). My expectation was that somewhere between seven and a hundred people might find this obscure and very narrowly focused effort helpful. To my surprise and delight, thousands responded within the first year, tens of thousands in the second, and as of this writing we have had hundreds of thousands of visitors from more than 190 countries around the world. This overwhelming response and the conversations that came about through engaging countless pilgrims seeking to deepen their relationship with Christ on the internet encouraged me to keep working on resources to nourish the souls of those who also hear the song of Christ in their hearts.
Well beyond my limited experience, this experiment has facilitated interaction with prominent Catholic writers and thinkers, spiritual directors, priests, religious, contemplative nuns, bishops, and many others who find their primary calling to be the care of souls. This near constant interaction has accelerated my learning and thinking about the spiritual life in dramatic fashion. Beyond these rich conversations, this book also draws from a wide range of resources in the hope that it will be both appealing and valuable to all seekers of God regardless of their level of experience with spiritual theology.
In my research for this book, I have also reviewed a wide range of contemporary and classic views of spiritual direction from both the Orthodox East and the Roman West and have attempted to provide a meaningful summary of a few key insights. In a straightforward and concise way, my hope is to open the spiritual treasure chest of the Church and set up a signpost that never fails to satisfy those who follow it: “All who are weary come to the waters and drink” (Is. 55:1). These are not new waters. The principles laid out here are time-tested, but without the dust on top. They have developed over the centuries and are rich with the experience of the saints and other holy souls, and with guidance and wisdom from the heart of the Church. My hope is that this simple effort will provide a light on the path to the great, but often forgotten treasures that lie waiting for any heart who sincerely desires them.
Finally, I believe that, outside of the sacraments, there is no greater or more important tool available to help us nurture our relationship with God and to grow in grace than spiritual direction. Because of this belief, I hope this book will aid you to: (1) understand spiritual direction, (2) initiate and engage in the process of spiritual direction, and (3) fully reap the spiritual benefits that Christ has waiting for you as you seek Him, find Him, and follow Him, all the days of your life.
Don’t ever stop seeking and singing.
Without the unique gift and working of God in and through my wife, I would simply not have been able to write this book. To my Heavenly Father, my adoration; to her, the full extent of my earthly love and admiration; to my children, deep gratitude for their constant faithfulness to Christ and His Church.
Nobody ever writes a book without help. Some of us require far more help than others, and I am certainly one of these. The following is a list of people who have helped to encourage, inspire, unstick, and otherwise help me to complete this book. To them, and to many more, I am indebted in countless ways. For those who should have been on this list, please accept my heartfelt apology.
Becky Ward, Fr. John Bartunek, Claudia Volkman, Colin Donovan, Fr. C.J. McCloskey III, Dave Scott, Ed Constantine, Debbie Aguiar, Fr. Thomas Dubay, St. Teresa of Avila, Fr. Thomas Dailey, Sharon...