The Sacrament of Same-Sex Marriage

Drawing on interviews with twenty-two same-sex, married couples, this book argues that the Catholic tradition should expand its definition of sacramental marriage to include same-sex couples. Stories from these couples illustrate that the church would benefit from a deeper commitment to practices of radical hospitality and sanctuary.

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There are roughly 51 million Roman Catholics in the United States, and 61% of those support same-sex unions. Yet even with growing support from the laity, and an increasing number of vocal priests and nuns, same-sex couples are still denied the opportunity to experience the sacrament of marriage.

Drawing on testimony from same-sex married couples who have “a meaningful connection to the Catholic tradition,” this book makes a case for considering same-sex marriage as sacramental from a Catholic perspective. Further, it argues that Catholic families, church communities, and institutions would benefit from wider and deeper practices of gospel-inspired hospitality and sanctuary as it relates to queer persons and couples.

At the book’s heart are stories from twenty-two couples, gathered from in-person interviews in Wisconsin, Chicagoland, Washington, D.C., Philadelphia, New York City, Boston, San Diego, and the San Francisco Bay area. The research builds on a previous project on Catholic marriage, conducted with a colleague, Julie Donovan Massey, which resulted in Project Holiness: Marriage as a Workshop for Everyday Saints (Liturgical Press, 2015; winner of a 2016 Catholic Press Association Award). While that project was limited to heterosexual couples, expanding the research to include same-sex couples was both timely and necessary.

Currently, the Catholic magisterium asserts: “There are absolutely no grounds for considering homosexual unions to be in any way similar or even remotely analogous to God’s plan for marriage and family” (Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith, Considerations Regarding Proposals To Give Legal Recognition To Unions Between Homosexual Persons (No. 4). Reasserted in the 2015 Synod document (No. 76). and quoted by Pope Francis in Amoris Laetitia (No. 251). On the other hand, same sex marriage has been legalized in our country; same sex couples—including Catholic ones—are de facto marrying and parenting; a significant number of mainline Protestant churches support same-sex marriage; and some revisionist Catholic sexual ethicists support same-sex relationships. Clearly, at this moment in time, continued theological analysis of same-sex marriage is crucial. The voices and experiences of same-sex couples must inform that analysis.

Gathered are stories that highlight how couples are sacraments to one another as well as to their families and communities, as their love overflows in lifegiving ways. Also included are powerful stories of rejection, inclusion, and belonging in families, church communities, and Catholic institutions, pointing to the power and necessity of gospel-inspired, radical hospitality and sanctuary. This book is an invitation to practice what Pope Francis calls “the art of listening,” necessary for genuine encounter and solidarity in a diverse body of Christ (The Joy of the Gospel No. 171).