Fear and Primordial Trust

Monika Renz is a psychotherapist, music therapist, and spiritual caregiver. She leads the psycho-oncology unit at a clinic of oncology/hematology, Cantonal Hospital of St. Gallen, Switzerland. She is the author of several books and her research focuses on dying, spirituality, forgiveness and fear.

Acknowledgments

Table of contents

List of figures and tables

Introduction

Chapter 1

1.1 Humankind, an Explosive Concept

1.2 Non-Dual Existence: Participating in the Whole

1.3 Ego-bound Existence: Facing the World as Who We Are

1.4 … and in between Lies a Formative Transition

1.5. Liminal Sphere and Liminal Experiences

1.6. We are Beings of Longing: Thinking in Terms of Psychic Layers

1.7. Music and Music Therapy: Approaching the Deepest Psychic Layers

1.8. Mirjam: "I don’t want to live—I don’t want to die—I want to be in paradise"

1.9. "Participation in the Whole" and a Model of Conscious Realization (Overview 1)

Chapter 2

Our Beginning: Non-Dual, Unitary Reality (A Completely Different Way of Being)

2.1. "Your core has existed since time immemorial"

2.2. Everything is Inside and Accepted Unconditionally

2.3. Original Wholeness: Primordial Order Instead of Chaos

Chapter 3

On the Threshold (Stage A of Conscious Development during Transition)

3.1. Initiating the Dynamics

3.2. Vanishing Non-Duality

3.3. Mr Fehr : «I looked across the threshold—and many of my fears have since gone"

3.4. Psychic Images and Symbols of Non-Dualism, its Disappearance and the Dynamics of Roundness

3.5. Images of God for Non-Dualism and the Dynamics of Roundness

3.6. Experiences of Music on the Threshold: Beyond Time and Individuality

3.7. Primordial Trust, Primordial Intuitions of Happiness

3.8. We are Born with the Gifts of Wholeness

3.9. Bettina (1): Breaking through into Confidence

3.10 We do not Always Manage to Bidding Farewell to Non-Dualism

Chapter 4

Wholesome Containment (Stage B of Conscious Development in Transition)

4.1. Oscillating between the Two Modes of Being

4.2. Primordial Shelteredness: Where Dependence on the Environment is not yet felt

4.3. Experiencing Wholesome Containment through Music

4.4. Older than all Power Problems: Wholeness as Nurturing Motherly Envelopment

4.5. The Masculine within the Feminine: A Pictorial Analogy

4.6. Goddess and Son, Grandmother and Undefiled Devil

4.7. Announcing Sheltered Containment: Images of God

4.8. Primordial Trust, the Early Form of Being Loved, and Psychic Images/Symbols

4.9. Dying and Becoming: Deliverance from Evil by Returning to Good Motherliness

4.10. Bettina (2): "I am lying on the Great Mother’s Love"

4.11. "Called into Life"

Chapter 5

Ambivalent Containment (Stage C of Conscious Development during Transition)

5.1. Unpleasantness versus Pleasantness

5.2. How old is Fear?

5.3. "Falling into "Unshelteredness" and the First Sense of Threat: The Two Faces of Primordial Fear

5.4. Awakening Under the Sign of Curiosity or Fear?

5.5. The Ambivalent Whole and The Overshadowed Feminine

5.6. The Endangered Ego and Masculinity: Threatened Self-Esteem

5.7. Atmosphere and "Music" Trigger Fear

5.8. Experiences of Music: Fullness of Sound, Absence of Sound, Chaos

5.9. What does Earliest Distress Feel like?

5.10. Understanding the Phenomenon of Primordial Fear

5.11. Inner Images and Symbols of Primordial Fear

5.12. Later-Recurring Primordial Fear: Experiences and Victims of Violence

5.13. Realistic Ambivalence versus Internalized Evil

5.14. The Fascination of Power and Violence and its Opposite: Shame

5.15. Primary Sense of Guilt and Guilt as a Coping Pattern

5.16. Images of God: The Primordial Fear of God as Culture-Specific Imprinting

5.17. From Paradise to Fall: A Myth or More?

5.18. First Splittings: Inner Images and Symbols

5.19. Bettina (3): The fire in the Dragon’s Mouth and its Impressive Eyes

Chapter 6

Entering the Ego: Primordial Trust and Primordial Fear Move into the Background (Level D of Conscious Development During Transition)

6.1. The Ego Emerges: From the Whole to the Concrete

6.2. Ego-formation between Detachment and Rapprochement

6.3. Music-based Experience of Entering the Ego: Rhythm and Melody

6.4. Childhood between Two Worlds

6.5. Childhood between Two Fears

6.6. The Birth of Culture

6.7. Trust or Fear: Coping Patterns

6.8. Inner Images for Entering the Ego; Symbols of the Primordial Force of Emergence

6.9. The Symbol of the Snake

6.10. Witch and Devil: Inner Images of the Cursed Primordial Forces in the Background

6.11. Images of God from Coming into the Ego: On this Side of Frightening Numinosity

6.12. The Individual Remains Fatefully Connected to the Whole

6.13. Abraham: Becoming an Ego against a Life-Affirming Background

Chapter 7

Post-transition: The Ego and the Unconscious in the Dual World

7.1. Ego and Distress-ego: Perspective, Music, Symbols

7.2. Being our Own Lord and Master—Alienation

7.3. Types of Fear

7.4. Progressive and Regressive Forces

7.5. Coping Patterns become Normal

7.6. The Whole: A God who either Leads us to Self-Responsibility or is Dead—Images of God

7.7. The Atmospherically Overshadowed

7.8. The Topography of the Unconscious—Psychic Layers

7.9. Working with the Model: Therapists, Pastors, Doctors, Nurses

7.10. Coping Patterns as an Impasse

7.11. Behind all Taboos Lies a Central Taboo: The Whole and its Immediacy

Chapter 8

From Becoming an Ego to Becoming Whole (Selectively Integrating the Wholly Other into this World)

8.1. The Suffering Ego Once Again Turns to the Whole

8.2. Primordial Fear is Relativized: The New Connection to the Whole

8.3. Conscious Realization as Process: Finding Words and Speech via Music, Symptom, and Symbol

8.4. Images of God in Suffering: The Missing, Afflicting, and Approaching God

8.5. The Virgin: A Symbol of Openness toward the Whole

8.6. Symbolic Announcements of the Future

8.7. Experiencing Music under the Sign of Integration

8.8. New Spirit in Old Reality: In the Aftermath of Near-Death, Illness, or Liminal Experience

8.9. The Question of Meaning: Development in Wholeness?

Chapter 9

The Question about the Goal

9.1. The Future—Beyond Fear

9.2. The Non-Dual and Personal God: A New Spirituality

9.3. Covenant and Relatedness—Symbols

9.4. Eschatological Dreams