Journey Called Grief -  Sarah Schieber

Journey Called Grief (eBook)

A Month-by-Month Reference For Those Who Grieve
eBook Download: EPUB
2022 | 1. Auflage
162 Seiten
Bookbaby (Verlag)
978-1-6678-2051-4 (ISBN)
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11,89 inkl. MwSt
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My husband died. Suddenly and tragically. I was 33. I had three young children and had just released my first solo album. I was in shock and grief for months after...I barely hung on. One of the last things my husband Chad did on the day that he died was write in his journal. The next morning, as I waited to tell my children that their daddy was dead, I wrote the next entry. I kept writing. I poured out my heart and soul to God, crying out to Him as I walked, no slogged, through the months and years of suffering. I sobbed, wrestled, screamed and questioned everything I knew to be true about God. And, He wrapped me in peace and loved me through the very worst days of my life. During that sad time I needed - and indeed searched for - a guide to how it would FEEL to walk this walk, to take this journey. And, although there were plenty of books about other people's lives through tragedy, there was not a month by month description that depicted the very real struggles of a young widow. NOW THERE IS! I have told my story and put together many of the journal entries into which I poured my heart in those awful months after my beloved's death. I very honestly wrestle with God, who very lovingly held me in His arms through it all. This book takes you by the hand, encouraging you and scripturally supporting you as you deal with your 'new normal'.
With the release of her new book, "e;A Journey Called Grief: A Month-by-Month Reference for those who Grieve,"e; Sarah Schieber hopes her personal story will become a resource she never had when she became a widow and single mother of three children, ages 11, 9, and 6. Sarah's husband, police officer Chad Schieber, died while running the Chicago Marathon in 2007. He was only 35 years old with no known health issues. The book offers raw journal entries during the months and years that followed, including Sarah's struggle with her faith. "e;I was still weeping eight months after Chad died and I often thought I was losing my mind,"e; says Schieber. "e;I wanted to know if I was normal, but I couldn't find someone else's journey to validate my own. I eventually realized that my journals were a treasure for other hurting people and that I had written the exact thing I had sought after during my time of need. I was a strong woman of God the day Chad died, yet I struggled so very much in my faith in the days after his passing. This book accounts the real, raw, totally transparent version of what wrestling with God looks like."e;Schieber is also very honest about her abusive second marriage a couple of years after Chad's death which sent her into another season of questioning God. "e;I married a man about two years after Chad passed away and came home from our honeymoon with bruises on my body,"e; says Schieber. "e;Fourteen months later he broke one of my fingers and I had him arrested. That entire journey is also in the book with a warning to widows. Be careful. I went on to be alone for a good long time after that divorce. About five years later, when I wasn't looking for it and really didn't want it, a wonderful man came into my life. Bryan and I are about to celebrate our seventh anniversary. So, for any widow wondering, love is out there. Heal your heart first, then let it come to you. Don't chase after it. Fall totally and completely in love with Jesus in the meantime. That is the best medicine for a lonely heart. And please remember - NO man completes you and NO MAN gets to tell you who you are or who you are not. Your identity is found in Christ."e;Schieber says she hopes "e;A Journey Called Grief"e; will help not just people who are grieving, but those around them who are trying to be supportive. "e;I had verse-toting believers lining up at my door trying to tell me to put a happy verse on my pain and get over it,"e; says Schieber. "e;Grief is a process. A long one. I talk a lot in the book about the fact that we need to get better, as a body of believers, at climbing down into other people's pain and sitting in it with them. Stop trying to pull people out of their pain-instead walk through it with them. That is what God does. He walked WITH me through my pain."e;Schieber says all her wrestling with her faith taught her some valuable lessons about God's faithfulness. "e;God's faithfulness has nothing to do with us or the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with Him,"e; says Schieber. "e;The word 'faithfulness' literally translated from the Hebrew means 'steadiness.' Somehow, we have made God's faithfulness about usthe biopsy came back negative, God is faithful.' No, that's not how it works. My husband dropped dead, God is faithful. When we can make statements like that is when, I believe, we truly know the heart of God."e;

2
Of To Run A Marathon
The warnings began streaming in on Tuesday before the marathon.
The race officials began warning runners that it was supposed to be unseasonably warm on Sunday and to take precautions in preparation. I remember sitting at the laptop in our dining room and reading the first e-mail to Chad. Really, though, what was the big deal? Most of our training had been done during the hottest months of the year.
In fact, because of Chad’s schedule, most of his training had not only been done during the hottest months… but at the warmest time of day. He had been working the 2:30 shift all summer – 2:30 in the afternoon until 2:30 in the morning. He would come home and sleep from about 3:00 a.m. until 10 or 11, then get up, eat a bit and head out for a training run. He was logging the majority of his miles between 11:30 and 1:30 all summer long.
Personally, I loved running in the heat… so, we took notice of the warnings, but were not too concerned. We packed extra sunscreen and made sure that we had our warm weather running clothes. We also began drinking extra fluids and really studied the route to know when and where the water and Gatorade would be available. We were so prepared!
When I ran the Detroit Marathon the year before, I literally had just made it through… but this one we studied and knew the course and had a firm grasp of what was going on – truly the ben-eft of having already done and been a part of one marathon. We were ready! Our anticipation was palpable! We were so excited to not only be a part of one of the greatest marathons around, but also to have a weekend away. We hadn’t had a weekend away, just the two of us, in quite a while and we were so excited!
The warnings were now coming daily and we continued to prepare to depart. We had planned to leave Thursday after the kids got home from school and drive to my brother’s house which is two hours away. The kids would be staying with my brother Kraig and his wife Missy while we were gone. Thursday afternoon we finished getting everyone packed and I recall sitting at the dining room table paying bills. We had come a long way since the days of truly ‘pinching’ pennies, but we still needed to be very wise with our money and a weekend away like this was a definite strain on our budget. I usually went to pick Abbi up at the bus stop, but on this particular day, since I was engrossed in working on bills, Chad happily went to pick up his baby girl.
I will truly never forget the conversation when he got back from picking Abbi up. Abbi was only eleven, and in the sixth grade. She was tall and beautiful. She was working her way up to at least six feet tall and was very nicely built! Add to that that she is a competitive swimmer and you have the makings for a drop dead beauty! Abbi had already been asked out once and on this day it had happened again.
Chad sat down across from me and said, “Well, I can’t believe it! The bus pulled up and opened its doors and I sat waiting and waiting for our girl. I watched as one awkward junior higher after another came around the corner of the bus. And then it happened… this beautiful supermodel came around the corner and when I came to my senses I realized it was my daughter! Then she told me that she had been asked out by another boy! So,” he went on, “I taught her how delicately she must handle that situation when telling a boy ‘no.’”
He sat there in stunned bewilderment that his baby girl, his first-born child, his 11-year-old was being asked out by boys and then he smiled as he relayed to me how he had taught her to gently and kindly let a boy down easily so as to not scar him for life. He was so proud and so in love with his baby girl. It would be the final thing he ever taught her. His journal from that day reads:
Abbi got asked out by another boy (2nd time). She is growing in beauty and wisdom every day. I am not freaking out, but it is amazing to see how much she has grown. Lord, bless her life.
We spent that evening driving over to Kraig’s house in a tiny, cozy little town just north of Grand Rapids, Michigan called Newaygo. We all hung out and watched our Thursday night show – Survivor. Our kids are very close with their Aunt Missy and Uncle Kraig and their three kids Malachi, Elizabeth, and Jonah. Kraig and Missy live in a large old farmhouse. The kids slept upstairs with their cousins and Chad and I were in the front room – one of those beautiful round rooms that are common in houses from that period. I didn’t sleep well. So much excitement. So much running through my head. Plus, the main road was just outside and I could hear the traffic all night long. I often struggle with sleep – if there is anything exciting, or weighing on me, or that I am ‘chewing’ on I just cannot sleep. This night was no exception! I knew I needed sleep to run the 26.2 miles that I had willingly signed up to run in three days… and that just added pressure to the sleep situation… and it was not happening! Chad slept well, though, that I can attest to – because I was awake listening to his ‘sleep breathing.’
That morning we awoke and readied to leave. I remember… he hugged the kids each twice. I will never know why… after telling them each ‘goodbye’ once… he went and found each of them and hugged and kissed them and told them he loved them one more time. It was almost as if… no… he couldn’t have. He just couldn’t have!
We left and drove into the nearest town and began our vacation. We stopped at a local coffee shop and took our time looking around and ordering our mochas and snuggled and held hands. We were always cuddling… and being away together was just another reason to touch one another 24/7!
We drove down the western coast of Michigan. I remember that we prayed the entire way! Prayer had become a very big part of our life. We would often be discussing something and spontaneously just break into prayer for wisdom or guidance or over the situation we were talking about.
So, on this beautiful, sunny Friday as we drove to Chicago we prayed. We prayed for our marriage ministry – for God’s wisdom and guidance. For my music ministry – that the doors would begin to swing open ahead of us. We prayed for people we knew and for family and for many situations that were going on around us.
I remember that Chad talked to one of his best friends on the way down – Angelo Brown. Angelo lived in Indianapolis, and had been a very dear friend of Chad’s since college. They had a very sweet conversation this day, and before they got of the phone Angelo asked if he could pray with Chad – and the two of them prayed for one another over the phone and ended, of course, with an “I love you.”
Not far outside of Chicago I got a hold of a very dear friend of mine, Hillary. Dan and Hillary and Chad and I had been dear, dear friends for about ten years. Two years prior to this we had gone through a very rough season together and Hillary and my friendship had become very strained. The summer before the marathon God had helped the two of us to begin to heal that relationship. I had missed her SO much, but had some fears in putting my heart back into a situation where it could possibly get hurt again. So, we had very slowly begun to mend our friendship. I called, that day, just to see how they were. All three of their boys and Dan and Hillary had all had strep throat that week. They had had a very long week, but were now on the mend.
Now, for some reason, at this point I let Chad take the map and direct where we got of the highway to head into the city. That comment will make sense when I tell you that Chad was more directionally challenged than ten people combined! He had only run one race before and he didn’t finish it because he missed a sign and got lost on a marked race route! The man couldn’t find his way out of a paper sack! So, why I let him read the map – I don’t know! I am the type that never uses a map – I have what we call ‘internal GPS’ and usually can just find my way. This day, however, I wanted to come at the city from a different direction because of the increased volume of people there for the marathon. Plus, our hotel was in a different place than we normally stay – so I wanted to come at it differently.
The details of what happened next are life changing! If you are a wife, or a girlfriend, or fiancé, or simply a woman who may someday marry – please soak in what I am about to share with you!
At this point in the day I had one thing on my mind… well, maybe two… but after we got ‘settled’ in to our room with some yummy snuggling, very intense shopping was what was to ensue – and I never mess around about that! I had a ‘relaxed’ agenda… but time was slipping away and we really needed to get this show on the road! I could taste and smell the city and I wanted to get there and get to the business of the day… lots of snuggling and shopping! What more could a girl ask for? Mind you, I had let the directionally challenged co-pilot take hold of the map and tell me where to get off of...

Erscheint lt. Verlag 3.1.2022
Sprache englisch
Themenwelt Geisteswissenschaften Religion / Theologie Christentum
ISBN-10 1-6678-2051-6 / 1667820516
ISBN-13 978-1-6678-2051-4 / 9781667820514
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