Real-Life Discipleship (eBook)

CHAPTER 1

THE TOMS’ TESTIMONY

The year was 1777, and what was shaping up is what we now know as “The Battle of Saratoga.” The British, who were the greatest army in the world at the time, were making plans to strategically control Upstate New York and isolate New England from the Southern colonies in an effort to decisively put an end to the Revolution.

The continental army was led by George Washington, who was inexperienced and underqualified. He was leading a group mostly made up of peasants and farmers who were amateurs at best. Some had never been formally trained; they were just ordinary men who believed in the idea of freedom.

At the start of the Revolutionary War, Washington had never led a large army into a major battle. During the war, the General chalked up more losses than wins. He struggled to overcome the discord and dissension amongst his men.

Right up until the Battle of Saratoga, Washington had carefully kept everything together—even when defeat was looking more certain with every passing day. He recognized that an alliance with the French was essential if the under-matched Continental army was going to defeat the British in a head-to-head battle. Washington is said to have had the gifts of patience, perseverance and self-awareness (to name a few), and he knew what battles had to be won.

Historians say he had a knack for taking people in, who seemed like they couldn’t achieve great things. These types of people were often written off by everyone around them, but under Washington’s leadership, they rose to the challenge. He was a leader who found the right balance at just the right time. He displayed confidence in his fellow citizen-soldiers.

Washington was unqualified, over-matched and fearful, yet he led an army of ordinary men with great courage.

George Washington’s challenges during the Revolutionary War make for a great parallel for men in the church today who feel an internal pull from the Holy Spirit to do more than they feel qualified to do. Men like you, who want to be involved in investing in other men spiritually but feel inexperienced, inadequate and undertrained. You may have found yourself saying, “I have never done anything like this!” Let us assure you; you are not alone in these feelings.

Just like the ragtag group of men that Washington led to a decisive victory over the British with no qualification apart from a belief in something bigger than themselves, you have what it takes. All that is necessary is that you believe in the idea of advancing the Kingdom of God, and recognize that all it takes is godly men working in conjunction with the Holy Spirit to reproduce more godly men.

Discipleship is not easy. Failure is ripe, and rejection is high. It’s going to take patience, perseverance, self-awareness and whole lot of holy boldness to invest in men the way Jesus did. Without discipleship, it is near impossible to keep growing in maturity. Chances are, either you have experienced the difficulty of walking this life without a mentor, or you know someone who has. If we want to see godly men rise up in the church, we have to start by stepping out where we feel inadequate. Be the man you wished you had when you started walking with the Lord or the brother you see your friends struggling to find. When we begin to disciple other men and walk with them intentionally, we will see a ragtag army rise up, just like George Washington’s.

Tom Cheshire’s Testimony

It was December 1997, and my wife’s friend’s husband approached me after church. He awkwardly asked if I would like to go with him to a conference called Promise Keepers in August, and I awkwardly accepted his invitation.

The truth is, I was hiding some pretty significant sin: I had been flirty with my secretary, I was watching porn in the darkness of my basement with increased regularity, and was going to topless bars anytime I traveled. This friend had no idea of my secret life, nor did anyone I work with. My wife, Jan, knew “something” was not right, but my lies had been effective thus far.

I remember thinking to myself; I will use this conference to help myself finally break free from my lustful struggles. I reasoned it would give me time to stop all the crap and get my stuff together. The Holy Spirit was clearly working in my heart; He brought conviction, making me conscious of the fact that everything I was doing and involved in was grieving God.

* * *

In January of 1998, my company hosted a management retreat to work on leadership and team building. A fellow manager approached me out of the blue, shared that he knew I was a Christian and shared that he was as well. We agreed to start meeting to do a bible study in his office once a week.

Why did he approach me, and why did we end up having a conversation about God? Well, I had a reputation at work, but not the kind of reputation you may be thinking. I was known around the office as “the Christian.” So, this guy sought me out to do life together.

Considering my distance from God at the time, my first thought was not that Holy Spirit was doing the connecting; my first thought was, How weird is it that a somewhat random man invites me to a Promise Keepers conference then this guy at work asks me to study the Bible? I honestly did not connect it to God when it was happening. Though you can likely see God’s hand in this clearly as you read, sin had completely blinded me to it back then. In fact, I made excuse after excuse about why I couldn’t join him for a bible study. However, he was very patient with me, and while he continued to ask, I continued to avoid him.

Stopping this runaway train was now appearing to be much harder than I thought it would be. While I did make some effort to stop some of my destructive behaviors, for some reason, I continued to flirt and exchange emails with my secretary. Sometimes I initiated them, sometimes she did. I guess I found it all rather “exciting.” Here was yet another sign that when the reward of our goal (lust) blinds us to the risk of our sin (consequences), we are in deep.

We continued on with our inappropriate communications online, as well as interactions in person. It seemed to be a mutual feeling that perhaps we might actually someday have a legitimate sexual encounter.

Fast forward to July: while I had slowed way down on the porn and topless bars, the communications with my secretary had increased in intensity, and the actual physical act seemed to be looming closer and closer with each email and conversation. I left for a business trip to Houston, Texas, and would be away from the office for a week. One night, I received a rather urgent phone call from a friend in my department. He went on to explain that it appeared my secretary had gone to HR and filed a complaint against me concerning my behavior towards her. He said he didn’t know what was going to happen, but it appeared I was in big trouble.

I decided to take the next flight back home and was told I needed to head immediately to the HR manager as soon as I got in to have an emergency meeting. Our meeting was short and to the point, and I was told this was a severe accusation and sent home for a two-week suspension while the investigation took place.

I remember getting into my car and driving home, racked with fear. How was I going to explain this to my wife? I pulled over on the side of the road in a panic and sat in my car, crying like a baby. Everything started flashing in front of my eyes, and I finally realized what terrible choices I had made. I had walked away from God. I sat there for a long time, desperately trying to come up with some sort of way out from this mess. Even though I had said I was going to fix this—which seems like a noble thing to do from the outside—it had gone horribly wrong in the fact that I had relied solely on me, myself and I. I had told God I would clean myself up and come back to Him once I was worthy. Again, what is obvious to me now (and you as you read) is the huge error in that sort of thinking, but in the midst of sin, I was blinded to the misplaced logic.

I’ve historically never been one who was big on the whole “hearing from God” thing, but right in the middle of that “dark night of the soul” moment, I had an overwhelming sense of His presence. I somehow finally understood that He was the only one who could rescue me. It was as if Jesus were asking, “What do you want me to do for you?” He made it clear that I was at a pivotal fork in the road in my life. I remember getting out of my car, falling on my knees and crying out to God to save me from my sin. I had always been skeptical of other people’s stories that shared how they felt a weight being lifted off them, but that was precisely what I felt. I understood that there would be consequences for my sin—that He wasn’t just going to make all this go away—but there was such a deep-seated peace that I knew His grace was sufficient. God impressed two things on me that day: trust Him, and tell the truth, no matter how hard either of those would be in the coming hours, weeks and years.

What unfolded over the next couple days were some of the hardest and darkest places I have ever been in my life. Coming completely clean with my wife shattered her heart in ways no one should ever have to experience. By God’s grace, she stayed with me through it all. As hard as it was, I really believe she could see that God was transforming her husband’s heart right in front of her eyes. While she was skeptical and suspicious for a long time, she couldn’t...