Spiritual Practices in Community (eBook)

LEADING SPIRITUAL PRACTICES

Teaching spiritual practices is one of the best ways I’ve found to help propel a group forward. The group grows in its spiritual depth and in its relationships spiritually.

You can lead practices in various locations and groups:

• board meetings

• staff meetings

• worship services

• small groups

• mission trips

• prayer rooms

• retreats

• youth ministries

• children’s ministries

• intergenerational ministries

• camps

• conferences

• around the dinner table

• during devotions

If at all possible, do a spiritual practice on your own before you lead it, even if it’s a shortened form done quickly because you’re about to lead the practice. It’s worth taking the time to experience it yourself. This will make you more capable of talking about the process and will give you the ability to share how you met God in the practice. You’ll also be able to talk about what was hard about the experience.

Doing it on your own at least once helps you with three things. First, you can share your experiences, good or bad. As you’re doing a practice on your own, take a few notes about what God reveals to you as you listen for his voice. Don’t limit what you write in this moment; you won’t have to share everything you write down. Some moments between you and God are intimate and can help you understand why someone would choose not to share in a group.

Second, if you haven’t done it yourself, it’s hard to know how much silence is too long or too short to hear from God. Others have led me in spiritual practices, and when they’ve done it themselves beforehand, I can tell. The amount of silence seems right on target.

Third, meeting with God before you invite others into a time with God is extremely helpful for your personal spiritual well-being. All too often people in ministry forget to make sure they’re feeding their own souls so they can help others. When I was training in ministry, we were reminded throughout the process that we couldn’t take anyone where we weren’t willing and able to go ourselves. If you aren’t willing to go to the depths with God in preparation for leading a practice, you won’t know how to take others there. Remind yourself of this truth as you explore each chapter.

When I first started taking time to meet with God before teaching others, no matter how hard I tried, I was unable to quiet my mind for fear I’d forget to do something important later in the day. So I kept a small piece of paper next to me to write down what came to mind. I wouldn’t have realized how distracting the need to vacuum can be if I hadn’t slowed myself down to meet with God. Experiencing what those you lead may experience is invaluable.

SET UP THE ROOM

I do spiritual practices in all sorts of settings with different numbers of people. If I’m leading a group of more than ten, it’s very helpful to divide them into smaller groups that stay in one room. If I’m leading a group of more than ten, I like to set up the room with round tables with four to six people per table. Try to keep the same number of people at each table so you can all finish at about the same time.

However, I don’t always have the luxury of setting up a room of round tables, so when I arrive, I assess what my game plan will be for discussions. I decide if people will move their chairs and face one another. If they’re in pews or rows of chairs, I decide if I’ll encourage them to turn to talk to someone behind or in front of them or have them turn to a person next to them. Think about this before you are in the moment. Also guide people very specifically so little time is lost.

If you encourage participants to talk to someone in the same pew, they’ll likely be talking to someone they know. If you encourage them to turn around, they’ll likely know that person less or not at all. As you think about which way to have people turn, consider what your goals are. Do you want people to go deeper in relationship, or do you want them to connect with those they don’t know? Either is fine, but know what your goal is before you start.

If writing is part of the practice, you’ll need to have tables or other hard surfaces to write on. If participants won’t be writing, a circle without a table is another great way to set up the space. A circle allows everyone to face one another and be on the same level. When discussion is happening, everyone in the circle needs to be able to make eye contact and to hear each other. Take time at the beginning to make sure these can happen. Hearing and seeing are key, since everyone’s words are valuable to the group.

CREATE SPACE THAT’S NOT JUST PHYSICAL

You want people to be able to enter in, so you need to help them hold the space with God. This means both keeping track of the time and making sure you are guiding the time at the level they need and can handle. Let the group know the overall concept of the spiritual practice and that you will be the time keeper as you lead them through each step. For example, stating how long you will hold the silence and suggesting ways participants can be present to God helps them hold the space well.

Try to understand what a group can withstand and for how long. For example, you can hold times of silence longer with spiritual directors than with teenagers or children. Also, don’t find the level they’re comfortable with; find one they can handle. When we’re growing in our faith, we’re rarely comfortable. Seek a level of risk that’s right on the growing edge for that particular group. Also tell the group how long the silence will be each time. For teens, one to five minutes can feel like an eternity. For spiritual directors, it can feel too short. Try hard to stick close to the time you promised the group. When you stick to that time, you gain trust with them.

Remember that people are always thinking about something. When leading a spiritual practice, one important goal is to create space so people can stop thinking about distractions and give space for God’s voice to be heard. Keeping things on time helps people not worry about their schedule. When you promise they’ll have time to ask questions, make sure you hold to that time. Then when you promise you’ll let them out on time, they’ll know they don’t need to watch the clock.

However, also follow the Holy Spirit. If the Spirit wants more time with a group, look for ways to let some people slip out of the room, if needed. It isn’t life-giving when a leader tries to hold a group until they all hear the voice of God. Those sitting under your leadership who have tight schedules need the freedom to go.

At the end of each practice, get feedback from participants by asking how they’re doing and how you’re doing in your leadership role. That way, each time you lead a spiritual practice, you get to hone your leadership skills.

BREATHE DEEPLY

While a friend of mine was in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit with her little girl, she read this on a sign: “Breathing deeply resets your nervous system.” Breathing deeply is also one of the easiest ways to deal with anxiety. Consider doing it before you start or at any moment when you need to reset yourself during a spiritual practice. Also, one of the best gifts you can give those you lead is a genuine space of calm as you lead. When people sense that you’re calm, they feel calm. When you’re full of anxiety, most people can hear it in your voice and will internalize it, even if they don’t realize they’re taking on your anxiety.

Therapists teach people who struggle with anxiety to do four-count breathing. This practice can be good for you as you lead and for those you’re leading. Also consider having participants breathe deeply with you at the opening of each spiritual practice. This can help them focus on their...