Open My Eyes, Lord (eBook)

Spiritual Light
1

How Can I See When It’s So Dark?

The people walking in the darkness
have seen a great light,
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.

Isaiah 9:2, NIV

As newlyweds, Frank and I lived in Paris, France. What a romantic place to spend the second year of your marriage! When we arrived in that wonderful city, I was twenty-two years old, learning about married life and very pregnant. We made friends with a countless number of people while we were there. Yet of all the people, the one I remember the most was a woman named Agnès. She was already in her eighties when I met her. Despite the age difference, she became one of my dearest friends.

She had lived an amazing life as a young woman, interviewing famous people in France and in the French-speaking world, while also writing for several newspapers and magazines. She lived through both World War I and II. Tragically, when she was in her thirties, she lost her two children and her husband to bacterial meningitis.

Needless to say, she had experienced a hard life but one filled with adventure, so she loved telling me stories about her life. Now that she is gone, it is a privilege to share one of her stories in my book.

Agnès and I studied the Bible together every week for almost a year. During those studies, we divulged our secret fears, our hopes and our lives. As we began studying about Jesus being the light of the world, she revealed to me her fear of the dark. Our hearts connected as we laughed about our silly fears—even the ones we still battled with. But she also told me how she had overcome many of them throughout the years.

During one of our Bible studies, she told with me a story about how her father and helped her conquer her fear of the dark. She had lived out in the countryside of France as a little girl, in a small home with a white fence surrounding it—the “perfect” country home, at least to her. The evenings were dark outside with no street lights in her neighborhood. The only lights in the area would emanate from oil lamps from within the house, or from the ones that her father would carry with him.

On one particular evening, her father had just finished repainting the white fence around the house. The sun had gone down, so it had become very dark. Agnès was about ten years old at the time. Her father called her and asked her to join him outside. She assumed that her father was going to show her the newly painted fence. As soon as she went into the yard, however, her father did something that frightened her. He turned off his oil lamp. There was no other light nearby, only the stars in the sky, which were not enough to make her feel secure. She immediately grabbed her father’s hand.

Then Agnès asked her father, “Papa, why did you turn off the lamp? I can’t see, and I’m afraid.”

Her father replied, “I want to help you to overcome your fear of the dark, my little one. You don’t have to be afraid of it. It is time for you to grow out of your fears. In fact, I want you to walk by yourself with your palms out in front of you, all the way to the newly painted fence, and then come back to me. I will light up my lamp as soon as you tell me that you have reached the fence.”

Agnès started shaking and replied, “I don’t want to walk all by myself in the dark. I’m too scared.”

Her father answered, “Your papa will be waiting right here. I’ll be here no matter what. As soon as you shout ‘I did it,’ I will light up my lamp again, and you can come running back to me.”

While shaking with fear, Agnès decided to trust her father and walked into what seemed like a dark chasm as she went toward the white fence. She felt like a stiff robot with her palms straight out in front of her. Her heart beat so thunderously that she could hear the loud reverberations ringing in her ears, blocking out the sound of her footsteps in the tall grass. After a couple of minutes—the equivalent of a million years to a frightened ten-year-old girl—Agnès felt the wet paint smear against her palms. It was cold and wet, mixing with the nervous sweat from her hands.

Instantaneously, tears of joy welled up and poured out of her eyes as she shouted to her father in a loud shrill, “I did it! I did it!” Immediately, the lamp went on, and she ran back to her father to show him her white palms, wet with paint and sweat.

It seemed like a miracle as her joy erased all her fears.

Even as Agnès recounted the memory from so many years ago, she had tears in her eyes—a memory of her loving father who had long since passed away. That event had occurred well over seventy years before. Yet, she recalled the moment as if it had happened that day. Her father was a light in her life. He had been a guide to eradicating so many of her fears and taught her valuable lessons, lasting her whole lifetime.

As she finished her story, she encouraged me not to fear what I could not see. Throughout her life, she had overcome her fears by picturing her father standing behind her, waiting with his lamp ready to be lit again.

Jesus Is the Light

The gospel or “good news” begins with Jesus. God’s story is all about Jesus. Everything in the Old Testament is a preparation for us to see the true light of Christ. Seeing the light is seeing God and our Lord Jesus Christ. He is our lamp and our guide. As our soul travels in this dark world, Jesus provides the light so we can see.

Some of us may not have been raised by supportive fathers, but our God in heaven is a father who is always there for us, helping us with our fears and showing us the way. While some of our uncertainties might last an entire lifetime, God is always there to light his lamp in order to guide us through all our troubles and phobias. He not only guides, but he shows us the approach to conquer the obstacles in our lives.

We have many fears. Some of us are good at hiding them, while others of us wear our fears in every aspect of our lives. It might not be a fear of the dark, but a fear of the future, our children’s future, financial instability, or a fear of revealing our true self to others. Our fears become more apparent when we go through hard times. Like a pot of boiling stew, all the ingredients of the mixture bubble to the top. In the same way, our anxieties and our worries surface when we go through hard times.

How do you find yourself responding in times of crisis? Do you freeze up? Do you fight back? Do you run away? Do you ignore the problems and hope that they disappear? Or do you lose all hope and give up trying? Are there friends you can run to and get help, or do you hide in a shell, hoping that no one will see your failures? What role does your faith in God play at those times? Do you turn to him, or do you allow bitterness to grow in your heart as you blame him for the difficulties in your life?

Most of us have experienced difficulties and suffering. It is a part of life. We, as Christians, have a light in our lives that helps us to see through the challenges in life. Some of those trials may be small, but others may seem almost impossible for us to overcome. Take heart, Jesus is the light of the world. Even in the darkest and most bleak moments, his light can shine—bright enough to bring life back into our suffering hearts. The key is seeing that light and believing that it is there behind us, beside us, above us and ahead of us. Often, during these miserable times, we lose that belief and faith and, thus, fail to see the light of the Lord.

We can have many lamps in a dark room, but if we do not turn them on, they remain useless. But when we turn on the lamps, we will be able to see. In the same way, we can be Christians groping in the darkness of our faithlessness when we stop relying on God. Every fiber in us might be crying out, telling us to depend on the Lord, but we are too afraid or doubtful to let go of our fears. As a result, instead of turning on the “light of God,” we continue to search for answers in the wrong places.

Every so often, God puts us in situations where we have no choice but to rely on him. We learn what it is to surrender to God’s will and become living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—thus able to test and approve what God’s will is (Romans 12:1–2). His will is never evil—but full of goodness and purpose.

As living sacrifices, our altar of surrender may be to deny negative thinking. Such thoughts do not come from the light of Jesus but from the darkness of Satan. When negative attitudes try to control us, we must take a hold of our faith and refuse to let them have power over us. The “spiritual lamps” in our hearts are turned off when we allow pessimism, cynicism and even critical feelings to rule. When the challenges come, who are you relying on for your strength? What kind of negative thinking blinds you the most? Worry? Stress? Anger? Fear?

Jesus said, “For a brief time still, the light is among you. Walk by the light you have so darkness doesn’t destroy you. If you walk in darkness, you don’t know where you’re going.

(John 12:36, The Message Bible)

Jesus wants us to put our trust in the light. He does not...