His Call My All (eBook)

Understand the Call

God does not choose people because of their ability, but because of their availability.

Brother Andrew

The whisperings of purpose and destiny always resound in the ears of those called for an assignment. If you listen hard enough, you will hear the sound. Over the years, many people have asked me how I came to know that I was called to serve my pastor in his ministry, and my response is always that there was a witness within me that I was called to serve under him. It has always been clear to me from the time I met him, but having the witness within me was the first step. When I first met and interacted with my pastor and perceived he was a good man who loved to see nothing but God glorified, I knew I was onto a good thing. I knew I had found someone I could follow and look up to. I had to make the choice to serve wholeheartedly regardless of the cost. For those of you called to support your pastor and his or her vision, this chapter is for you.

The Bible tells the story of the transfiguration of Jesus on the Mount:

And He said unto them, Verily I say unto you, that there be some of them that stand here, which shall not taste of death, till they have seen the kingdom of God come with power. And after six days Jesus taketh with him Peter, and James, and John, and leadeth them up into a high mountain apart by themselves: and He was transfigured before them. And His raiment became shining, exceeding white as snow; so as no fuller on earth can white them. And there appeared unto them Elias with Moses: and they were talking with Jesus. And Peter answered and said to Jesus, Master, it is good for us to be here: and let us make three tabernacles; one for thee, and one for Moses, and one for Elias. For He wist not what to say; for they were sore afraid. And there was a cloud that overshadowed them: and a voice came out of the cloud, saying, This is my beloved Son: hear him. And suddenly, when they had looked round about, they saw no man anymore, save Jesus only with themselves. (Mark 9:1-8, KJV)

The King James Version of this scripture gives a lot of insight into the call God confers on some people to support visionaries in accomplishing a major purpose for the Kingdom. It is, however, a scripture that many contend with since it appears to say that some of the disciples standing in front of Jesus would not die until they witness the Kingdom of God come in power. I used to struggle with this scripture as well until my understanding grew with time. The account details Jesus choosing three of His disciples who were called and taking them up a mountain apart by themselves on another journey where they witnessed a glorious, but frightening, revelation of who Jesus really is in all His glory. While many were called to be with Jesus, He chose only a few to go to another level of revelation with Him.

Many have questioned why Jesus chose those three, and indeed it is a question worth asking. Some have said they were chosen because they were closest to the Master, while others have said it was because of the specific task He had for them after His departure. But whatever the reasons were, we do know the Lord was pleased to choose them and take them on a different journey to reveal His honor and glory to them. The experience for the three chosen ones was going to leave an indelible mark on them for the rest of their lives.

Many times, walking with a true man or woman of God can be a frightening experience when we see God working through him or her. I had a jaw-dropping experience the first time I got to travel with my pastor on a mission trip to Amsterdam. He had been invited to minister at a friend’s church. By that point, I had been serving under him for a couple of years in London, seeing him do his usual effective ministry weekly. However, this experience of traveling with him to minister outside of our church was anything but ordinary. I felt like I was seeing him minister like a different man. He moved in power and I saw many delivered and set free like I had never witnessed before. I was almost terrified of what I saw him do on that trip. Things were happening all over the church building the program was being hosted in, as many had a real encounter with God through my pastor’s ministry. I felt privileged to have had that experience. I remember him looking at me with a smile on his face after the church service and asking me why I looked so terrified. I had seen the glory of God work so freely in a man I thought I knew, who was transformed into a different man. Of course, I had the privilege of having subsequent similar experiences with him as I continued to walk with him.

On another occasion, I visited my pastor in his home to have a discussion regarding a certain matter. At the end of the meeting, he sent me to pick up something for him from his bedroom. This was my first time going into his bedroom. When I got to the door, I walked in, picked up the item he asked me to find, and went downstairs where he and the first lady were. I left the house not long after this and went home. When I got home later that day, I started feeling troubled, as if I had done something wrong. It was a weird feeling that I could not understand. I tried to make sense of this uneasiness within me, but nothing made sense. Later that night, as I lay down to sleep, the unrest got worse and I certainly got worried. Then, as time went on, I saw an image of my feet walking into my pastor’s room with my shoes on.

As I tried to make sense of that image in my spirit, it got even more vivid. All I saw was my feet walking into his bedroom, in the exact shoes I had worn that morning. Then it hit me that the unrest was all about the fact that I had casually walked into my pastor’s bedroom as if it were my own, with my shoes on. A few moments after I saw this image in my head and understood it to mean the casual nature with which I had walked in my pastor’s room, the uneasy feeling left me. It felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. That experience will be with me as long as I live. I said nothing of this to my pastor, but I got the message loud and clear.

I did not interpret this experience to mean simply not wearing shoes into his bedroom; there was bigger message—to never get familiar with my pastor. Your pastor is chosen by God to fulfil a very important assignment on Earth, and it is important that you always keep this understanding within you. Subsequent to that experience, anytime he’s asked me to do something in his bedroom, I take my shoes off and walk in backward. I haven’t had that strange, uneasy experience since I started doing that.

Now, I am not suggesting that everyone do exactly what I did. This was a personal experience, unique to my own relationship with my pastor, which I believe God used to teach me something about my close walk with him. Choosing to take my shoes off and walk into his bedroom backward anytime he has asked me to pick up anything or take something to his room was part of my effort to ensure I revere my pastor as my man of God.

The Pain of Being Chosen

Being chosen can often feel like being pulled apart. Jesus chose the three disciples to be by themselves with Him. Many of you working in God’s vineyard can testify to this feeling of dealing with the honor of being called while you’re dealing with your humanity, struggles, fears, uncertainties, insecurities, and weaknesses. This can often feel like being pulled apart. People with a strong calling on their lives are always pulled apart, often without being able to understand that feeling.

Being called can be a lonely experience. Even when I was a young boy, I felt as though I did not fit in. I tried to fit in and feel accepted in school, but it always felt as though I had to put forth a big effort. Many people I met treated me different from others, as though they did not want to allow me within their circles to do the normal things others could do with them. Other people treated me with some kind of strange reverence and respect that seemed to make them uncomfortable to be around me. As a result, I felt very lonely, trying to understand why I did not fit in.

I was almost convinced there was something wrong with me. I felt like a square peg in a round hole. I did not realize God had a specific call for me that required separation. So, I did things to try to circumnavigate what I thought was an anomaly in an effort to fit in. But the more I tried, the less successful I was. For many years, I did not understand it, and it was a constant struggle within. But after a while, I just decided to accept myself, no matter how different or alone I felt. Period.

Even though I did not get this early enough, it was important for me to understand the unique path God had called me to walk required that I not be flippant and careless about who I chose to associate with. I wish I had understood this much earlier in life but thank God it’s never too late to make a change. Many of you are either going through this experience I have just described or have already been through it. You feel different and many times alone in your interactions with others. Sometimes even the people surrounding you in church don’t seem to get you. I want you to know that God may be trying to get your attention, to teach you some important lessons about what He has called you to be and to...