Mask Off (eBook)

A PERSONAL JOURNEY

My Mom:

Mattie Jean was raised on a farm in Tennessee with two sisters and one brother. Her mother, also named Mattie, was a home maker and a God fearing woman. Her father, Gene, was a chef, a farmer, and a bootlegger. Gene always made sure the kids went to church though. He would often pick up other kids in the neighborhood and take them too. Gene bought a lot of land with the bootlegging money. The church would often hold their tent revivals on one of those large plots. My mother was told that joining a church was the only way to know the Lord. For some reason, she never believed that. Mattie Jean watched people go to the front of the church to accept Jesus as their Lord. Back then, the church would tell people to tarry in order to get saved. Tarrying is when people repeat over and over, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus” until they have some sort of emotional response. This might be shaking, crying, shouting, rolling around on the floor, or anything else that is loud.

Mattie Jean would look at all of this from her pew, thinking those people were nuts! She would attend summer Bible camps and even did some secretary work for the church. Yet, the Christian experience was never very real for her. Many years later, Mattie Jean became pregnant with her first child. She was ashamed of herself and felt like she was being judged by everyone. She had a friend in Chicago, Illinois that she could stay with until she got on her feet so, in 1962 Mattie Jean ran away to a big city where she could vanish. No one else knew her there which is the way she wanted it. Mattie Jean thought she was a bad girl and not very valuable after giving her first child away for adoption. So, she began to live a wild lifestyle. This included getting drunk, getting high, partying, and sleeping around.

Mattie Jean made acquaintances with many people over a season of partying in the Chicago club scene on the weekends. However, around 1970, she formed a relationship with one in particular. They had a tumultuous relationship but it lasted for quite a while. In 1977 Mattie Jean became pregnant again and I was born in July of 1978.

One day, Mattie Jean was getting high, listening to music, and watching television with the sound turned down. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, a thought came into her mind that she had never thought of or even considered before. She thought to herself: “Either someone is serving God or they are serving the devil! If you are not serving God then you have no choice but to be serving the devil!” Mattie Jean was astonished at this thought but did not know if it was true or not. So she called her sister, Gloria, back in Tennessee to try and find some answers. She asked Gloria, “Is it true that if you are not serving God then you are serving the devil?” Gloria replied, “Yes.” The conversation pretty much ended there. Back then, long distance rates were high and something to be avoided. However, after about three days, Gloria realized that Mattie Jean must have been asking her that question because she was ready to turn her life over to Jesus so, Gloria called Mattie Jean back and apologized for ending the conversation so soon.

Gloria told Mattie Jean very plainly, “God knows that you drink, and smoke, and party, and lay with a man that you are not married to but, God wants you to come as you are today. Most people try and get their life straightened out before they come to Jesus. That does not work. Jesus has to change you Himself.” Mattie Jean listened intently while Gloria continued, “Is there anything stopping you from giving your life over to the Lord today?” “No,” said Mattie Jean. “Do you believe Jesus died for your sins and then was resurrected on the third day?” Gloria asked. “Yes” said Mattie. “Then that is basically all there is to it” Gloria said. Mattie Jean’s sister led her in a prayer that very night.

After that, Mattie Jean began to change on the inside. Whenever she found the time, she would read the Bible. Something that she wanted nothing to do with all of a sudden became totally irresistible, amazing, and fascinating to her. She would even read the Bible while she was getting high. Imagine that! Around that time, in March of 1979, Mattie Jean took her son and moved back home, to Tennessee.

To Train a Child:

The Sunday church service was getting ready to come to a close. But first the pastor needed to give an altar call, a summons to those wishing to show their commitment to Jesus and be saved. At that point in every service, the children’s church would let out and flood into the sanctuary. While people were giving their lives to Jesus up front, the parents could gather their kids and prepare for an exit. On this particular morning, Mattie Jean could not find her son. She asked around to see if anyone knew where I was until someone found me. She could not find me because, instead of going where all the other kids were going, I answered the pastor’s altar call! I was in the line of people in front of the church waiting to be prayed for and accept Jesus into my life. I was towards the end of my toddler years and entering into my middle childhood years.

Around 1982, my mother was able to find a good enough job to purchase a house. She really couldn’t afford it, but it was either raise me in the suburbs or in the inner city projects. Mattie Jean refused to do that despite recommendations from officials. It was a little 900 square foot house, newly constructed, in a rapidly growing part of town. She even let me pick out the color. I chose yellow and we soon moved in.

My mother and I would talk about everything and she didn’t hold any punches regardless of my age. I remember her telling me that nobody is perfect, not even her. I actually got into an argument with some kids in the first grade who thought that parents are perfect. So we took it to the teacher who actually sided with the other kids, agreeing with them that parents are perfect! I still didn’t believe it because of what Mattie Jean had told me.

I remember seeing a 100 dollar bill in my mother’s hand one day. I thought we were rich! She quickly shut me down. She said “Daryl, any time you see me with a lot of money in my hand like this, it is because I am paying bills. The money is not mine. It is the utility department’s. You need to go to school and study. Don’t be like me!” I remember Christmas times. My mother never bothered to tell me lies about Santa Claus. During Christmas, she would tell me to write down my Christmas list. Then we would look over it together and pray about it. I always knew that my mom was buying the toys, along with other family. I also knew that I would not be able to receive everything that I wanted. But, I trusted God and my mom! She also told me that the tooth fairy and Easter bunny were both lies. However, I was instructed never to tell the kids at school. She said, “Their parents want them to believe that. That is their business.”

I believed in the Lord wholeheartedly very early on. I remember telling a convenience store clerk once that I had just come from the dentist. He wondered out loud how I had the courage to do that. I remember looking at my mom and asking her, “Does he not know?” Then I looked at him and pointed up to the sky. Mattie Jean told me that one weekend when I was sick, she woke up and saw me pacing back and forth with the Bible in my hand praying to God. I would also minister to the kids in my neighborhood. I didn’t know I was ministering at the time. I was just being myself. I played children’s Christian music outside and invited kids to church.

My mother and I would kneel down and pray before I would go to bed at night. I would pray and she would pray. We read Bible stories from a children’s story book and she would answer any questions that I would have. One night, as I lay in bed, I saw a big shadowy fist hovering right above me. Frightened, I called my mother. She prayed and rebuked the spirit in the room. After that, she started playing children Christian music in my room to help me stay calm. Whenever I would see that shadowy fist, I would pray and rebuke it.

I saw several miracles while growing up. These observances played a major part in who I am today. You might not know that many people have one arm or one leg shorter than the other. This can cause physical ailments. Well, one summer at a church camp, I saw arms and legs being grown out with prayer. I tried to get them to pray for me but my arms and legs were even length. One night I was shooting basketball in my driveway when I saw an angel. Another time during Christmas, my mom let me open up an early gift. It was a toy cap gun that transformed into a robot. Somehow I busted the toy. Mattie Jean said we could try and get another one. The next day when I woke up, the toy was fixed. Assuming my mom bought it from a store that morning, I looked outside. There was snow on the ground with no tire tracks. I went and asked her if she had left but she said no. And yet another time, I saw visions in the carpet. The visions I saw were faces. Just like you can see a foot print in plush carpet, I saw the carpet impressed in places that would create the picture of a face and then it would turn into another face.

This story is not obviously a miracle. But one night I had a basketball game to play at the YMCA. However, the driver side door of our car would not stay closed. I nagged and begged her to take me so she figured out a way to tie the door closed with...