Adrienne: La Fayette's Sweet Fire - Susan Anthony-Tolbert

Adrienne: La Fayette's Sweet Fire (eBook)

Susan Anthony-Tolbert (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2020 | 1. Auflage
190 Seiten
Bookbaby (Verlag)
978-1-0983-3772-8 (ISBN)

This is the story of a woman who was on fire with love for her husband, Gilbert La Fayette. Adrienne was a woman ahead of her time in terms of her emotional strength, her ability to get along with a variety of people from different backgrounds, her handling of any and all tasks she was given and her educational accomplishments. Adrienne would fit with the modern woman in terms of these skills. She had an outstanding moral compass. She was determined and steadfast in her endeavors. Her 'sweet fire' spread compassion and love to all her family, friends and acquaintances. Unfortunately, she was not loved by Gilbert La Fayette in the way she would so desire or in the way she loved him. Though he did love her and had great affection for her, it seems that she never really felt she pleased him. While there was great joy in her life, there was also tremendous sadness, loss and suffering.

This is the story of a woman who was on fire with love for her husband, Gilbert La Fayette. It traces Adrienne's life through her childhood and the early years of her marriage. Then, it looks at how she responded to Gilbert's trips to America and his long absences from her. She was always worried about his safety. Even during a difficulty pregnancy she had to confront his sexual misconduct involving noble ladies at court. She had a pervasive feeling that she if only she could measure up, his extramarital affairs would stop. Prior to and during the Revolution when LaFayette became an "e;emigre,"e; Adrienne, alone, had to protect her children as best she could. Nobles were being guillotined by the various factions. Along with her Mother, Grandmother and one sister, Adrienne suffered imprisonment. Though she was spared, her beloved family members were killed. She faced a constant fight to save her husband and in fact she would join him along with her two daughters when he was imprisoned. This imprisonment was not good for any one's health but had terrible consequences for Adrienne. After an enormous amount of work and politicking, Adrienne and her family were freed. She would get to spend some years at La Grange with her husband and children in a rather idyllic setting. Her love for Gilbert Lafayette spanned more than 30 years. Adrienne was certainly a woman ahead of her time in terms of her emotional strength, her ability to get along with a variety of people from different backgrounds, her handling of any and all tasks she was given and her educational accomplishments. Adrienne would fit well with the modern woman in terms of these skills. She had an outstanding moral compass. She was determined and steadfast in her endeavors. Her "e;sweet fire"e; spread compassion and love to all her family, friends and acquaintances. Unfortunately, she was not loved by Gilbert La Fayette in the way she would so desire or in the way she loved him. Though he did love her and had great affection for her, it seems that she never really felt she pleased him. While there was great joy in her life, there was also tremendous sadness, loss and suffering.

Forward:

Hopefully, this account will celebrate the strengths of a woman (Marie Adrienne Francoise de Noailles, Marquise de La Fayette) whom I have come to regard with great admiration but also with a good deal of wonderment. As I read various biographies about her and read letters to and from her, my respect and my amazement became profound. She was indeed, a woman with ‘Sweet Fire’ in her heart, mind and soul. Her bravery and assertiveness during her place in history are awe-inspiring. She crossed and transcended the traditional roles of women of her era. Without question, she was in many instances the fire behind Gilbert La Fayette1 (General Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette) in terms of her intelligence, understanding, moral compass, compassion, diligence and determination. On many (if not most) occasions, she was the woman behind the man ---- behind the successful man.

While there are some fine accounts of Adrienne, they often include so many details about her husband that I felt she was almost lost in her own story. Somehow I feel history has cheated her of the praise and consideration that she deserves. That is not to say she was perfect. Nor is it to say that she didn’t have a weakness or made mistakes. In recent times, it seems that our/heroes/heroines are being torn down or judged to have clay feet, simply because they are human and make mistakes----sometimes grave mistakes. However, mistakes and unenlightened philosophies do not or should not negate their positive contributions to history. They should serve as a lesson in being human. The popular tendency today of “splitting” a person into all good or all bad is/ should be of concern. A person can perform tremendously good deeds and yet make mistakes. It would be so refreshing today to celebrate the good of our heroes/heroines or former heroes/heroines and to admit their mistakes and learn from them.

This is not the story of Lafayette’s accomplishments. It’s well known that he participated in the American Revolution because he loved the ideals and philosophies of our emerging democracy. He paid for the clothes, the food, the shelter and the weapons for his troops out of his own pocket. Up until the early to mid- twentieth century he was thought of as a war-hero by historians.2 He was celebrated throughout America as a great champion of our victory in the American Revolution and of our ideals as a nation. His name was a battle cry in WW I for American soldiers. And, the United States Air Squadron, (Escadrille Américaine), was called Escadrille Lafayette by the French. They flew combat against the Germans (the Boche). And, indeed, he risked so very much when he acted on his political beliefs and philosophies for the United States and for France. However, more recently historians have taken a more detailed look at his military accomplishments. Many do not regard him as a great strategist. His stature in modern historical research has declined.3 What seems to be the more current thinking is that his contributions include: his emphasis on human rights and the belief that each individual should have equal and legal rights; his belief in the intelligence and capability of women whether in literature or in political forums; his anti-slavery stance; his support of advances and the need for skills in agriculture; his view that the economy was expanding beyond one nation into the global realm; and the trans-Atlantic nature of his extensive travels.4

This book is definitely not the story of Gilbert La Fayette but in order to tell Adrienne’s story it is necessary to consider his behavior in relation to her and his personality as it comes through in his letters and actions. Many modern researches have concentrated on his self-centered attitude; his deep need for approval from others and his demand for praise.5 Some have described him as a “statue in search of a pedestal.” His need for love/approval appears in many variations in letters to Adrienne, “(N’est-il pas vrai mon Cœur que vous m’aimez toujours?) Is it not true that you will always love me?” It is interesting to note that this question was never followed by a declaration that he would always love her!

La Fayette’s self-centered attitude and egotism will hopefully come through in my writing of Adrienne’s story.6 Those traits are there in his responses to her, whether it was assigning her tasks; offering her his political views; discussing his successes, (military and otherwise); and even while mourning the death of his first child. He was in America when he wrote to his wife who had just lost her two year old daughter: “Consider, my love, how dreadful it must be to weep for what I have lost!” What about what SHE had lost? He never expressed an understanding of her loss as a mother.

Even when Adrienne was dreadfully ill, he expected her to continue to manage the family finances, to recover property confiscated during the Revolution and run from one government office to another to restore his status and that of his friends as a citizen of France instead of an “émigré.” At the same time he wanted his office and home arranged exactly according to his specifications. He complained that he also needed her company. One wonders how this woman was to accomplish all this. Not only did he expect her to conduct business and to supply his requests but even as a young man, recently married, he wanted things done quickly. In March, 1777 when he was traveling in England he wrote, “I have been much put about, dear heart, at having received no news of you for two posts. Fortunately, I know you are not sick but only lazy, because I have heard from …friends who say nothing of you.”

What is also astounding is that in the face of all that she did or could do Adrienne viewed herself as unworthy or not quite worthy enough of the man she adored. And, the word, adored, is correct here. Her desire for him in every respect, physically, emotionally, and intellectually was a huge part of the Sweet Fire that was her. In the 34 years of their marriage, Gilbert had mistresses. He cheated on Adrienne with his women “friends” ---- cheated physically, emotionally and intellectually. Adrienne accepted this as part of his privilege as a nobleman. She accepted it because of her deep love for him. She accepted it because she felt she was never good enough! And yet, on Gilbert’s part there was NEVER a question as to whether the marriage would last. It was most definitely until death parted them. He called her, “dear heart,” and he expressed great affection at times. And he most certainly was with her at the very end of her life.

The story of Adrienne is the story of “Sweet Fire.” She was kind and loving; gentle and caring: all the characteristics that one normally thinks of when the adjective, sweet, is applied to a person. She was charitable and always placed others before herself. But when necessary, she could ignite into a formidable force. She could be assured, assertive and confident. She faced nobles and kings. She starred them down and debated them successfully. She won her point. She faced the poor and the middle class. She not only made her point with them, but was accepted by them even though she was of noble heritage. She served time in prison simply because she was born into a noble family: the wrong family at her time in history. Then, she volunteered to go to prison to share life with the love of her life. And she was incredibly strong in the face of great sadness and loss and in the face of knowing that she was not quite enough for the man she adored.

In so many respects, this woman with the “flaw” (not thinking herself good enough) was the harbinger of the modern, independent woman: the woman of the 20th and 21st century. I think she would be very pleased with “les femmes aujourd’hui!”

Organization of This Book:

In telling Adrienne’s story, I have used the first names of the players after I’ve introduced them. This was not to be disrespectful of their status in French history or during their lives. It simply made the story easier to read and placed the emphasis on the people involved and not on their titles.

While telling Adrienne’s story many of the accomplishments of her husband and many of his political and military assignments and philosophies had to be mentioned. I tried to keep them at a minimum and to include only those that would contribute to her story and/or show their relationship. After all this is HER Story. However, this in no way should be taken to demean Gilbert Lafayette and his rightful accomplishments.

In certain chapters where the history of France/ the French Revolution / the rise of political parties had an important impact on Adrienne’s story, I wrote a brief background section before the actual chapter itself. This was to help those of us who needed a brief guide to French history of the period. To those who are very knowledgeable in that history I apologize for its brevity and simplification. These backgrounds were only intended to place Adrienne’s story in the correct political atmosphere.

I have based Adrienne’s story mainly on letters and remembrances from friends and family. I read some of her letters in French to get a feel for her language and thought. Each chapter is well foot-noted. One of the most fortuitous events in writing her story was the finding at La Grange7 in the...

Erscheint lt. Verlag	12.10.2020
Sprache	englisch
Themenwelt	Geisteswissenschaften ► Geschichte ► Regional- / Ländergeschichte
ISBN-10	1-0983-3772-7 / 1098337727
ISBN-13	978-1-0983-3772-8 / 9781098337728

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