Sassy & Saved (eBook)

Introduction

If you would have told me fifteen years ago I would be saved and working on a book about my Christian walk, I would have laughed. And so the story goes, right? God has a way of redefining our expectations. He takes the most broken things and makes them the most beautiful things. Many of us have faced painful situations throughout our lives. I want to tell you about a woman who faced verbal, mental and physical abuse and rejection, unsuccessful relationships; it was during one of the lowest points of my life of being lost when I realized I had to make a decision to change my situation. Fourteen years ago I gave my heart to Jesus, and still found myself broken. I want to tell you how I overcame depression, fear, low self-esteem, and negativity by refusing to become bound to those things which held me captive for years. Being a wife and a mother I had determined it was time to find purpose beyond my pain and step into who God called me to be. Determination and persistence helped me find freedom. No matter what you’ve endured in the past, there’s a purpose for your life.

There’s no situation too difficult or pain too hard that God can’t handle. Little did I know that I was about to unravel. I was about to be in such a crucial season, a season that would change my life forever. I was serving in my church, I was doing everything I needed to do, and I was playing all the parts. But I still felt like something was missing. I could preach it, I could speak it, I could give all the girlfriend advice, pray over you, but I didn’t feel it. I looked like the “perfect church member” I tithed, volunteered and served. Little did I know that I didn’t fall apart alone. Jesus was right there all along waiting for my pivotal unravel. The layers of defense walls I put up and built so well disintegrated like sand in the wind. I was emotionally bare. I was in the shower, face down, crying, begging, screaming, that if this is what life is like I don’t want it. I remember saying, “God, if this is what I deserve because of my sin, my bad choices, free-will, I cannot do this, I have lived in so much heart ache my entire life, I’m tired of being strong, tired of always gritting it through. I am tired of fighting, you hear me! I am done.” I cried for so long what seemed like hours, the bathroom completely fogged up, and the hot water all gone. Ice cold water from the showerhead piercing my skin, it was so uncomfortable but what was more devastating is that I didn’t care. I was so tired of being devastated. God never left me, He never walked away. I probably would have walked away at myself. He softly and so lightly spoke to me like a newborn baby. He led me and steadily walked with me through healing and completeness to finding purpose beyond my pain.

God said, “Aimee, get up.” I cried, begged and pleaded that I didn’t want to get up. I was empty, blank, emotionally, physically, spiritually devastated, not worth it. I couldn’t put up with the abuse, hatred and manipulation anymore. God said it again so softly but clearly, there was no mistaking his voice. “Get up, I am with you, you are not alone.” So I got up, got dressed, and looked in the mirror. My face red, swollen eyes, pink nose, congested, wet tangled up hair. I stared into my blood shot eyes, wiped my hands across the fogged mirror, and said to myself, “I am alone now, where are you now God?” I laughed at the thought, I am losing it, and I am talking to myself in the mirror. I didn’t hear anything. I have always been sassy; it has got me in trouble a lot and sometimes makes for a good comedian.

I remember walking outside in the backyard, asking the children what would they like for dinner, and God said, “I never left.” How many times have you heard people say listen for Gods voice and guidance, or out of scriptural context. It’s used in the churches, journals, Bible studies, and church groups. I couldn’t hear Gods voice before because I was too busy listening to mine. There was no earth shaking, light from the sky moment. It was a very vivid, deep, confident voice. I believe there are two things you can choose to believe. There is truth and there are facts. The fact is I had so much pain in my past. The fact was that my reality hurt so bad I couldn’t do it anymore. I lost myself to all the negative facts. I became so consciously emerged by the doubt, fear and insecurity from years of abuse from really bad relationships and childhood that I entangled the truth and the facts. I couldn’t differentiate the two. The truth is God is the only way, the Truth and the life.

The darkness has not overcome it. Means the darkness of evil never has and never will overcome or extinguish Gods light. You have purpose beyond the pain. God is in you and lives through you; you can choose to believe the facts in your life or the truth over your life. When we follow Jesus, the true light, the “Truth,” we can avoid walking blindly. That voice of doubt that tries to bind you from finding your purpose. Scripture tells us He lights the path ahead of us so we can see how to live. He removes the darkness of sin from our lives. In what ways have you allowed the light of Christ to shine in your life? Although I stumbled and was living in darkness, there was a light, we all have. It is in mankind, planted, growing, destined. Light always wins. Jesus is the creator and sustainer of all things and the source of eternal life. This is THE TRUTH. The truth about Jesus and the foundation of all truth. If we cannot or do not believe the basic truth, we will not have enough faith to trust our enteral destiny to him, our purpose beyond the pain.

“In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1: 4-5 NIV). Once we digest and adjust ourselves with His truth, then we will be filled with it and the truth of His unfailing complete goodness, love and salvation that saved us from the penalty of sin and death (John 3:16-17). God’s love is not static or self-centered; it reaches out and draws others in. God has set the pattern of true love, the truest of love. This book is about the journey of one woman finding purpose beyond the pain. Your past doesn’t define who you are. I am Sassy and Saved. I wanted to write this book for women who have been affected by emotional, physical and mental abuse. The mission of the book is to empower, inspire and encourage women to forgive themselves and those who have hurt you, and transform into the woman God called you to be. I believe a Godly woman who lives with passion, purpose and walks in boldness is free and no longer bound by the shame, guilt and doubt that once bounded you. I challenge you to step up and step out and become all God called you to be. ... Qualified & Called. It’s time for you to be the woman God created you to be. God is telling you. He is whispering to you. There is a calling on your life, there is a transformation waiting to begin. Are you ready to walk? There is a shift about to happen in your life. I am praying for you. Before we start, I want to pray a few prayers over you. The first is found in Luke 8:16-17.

“No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.”

God doesn’t want you to hide your light. Let it shine. Shine that light, to help others. Your testimony should be shared with others. God knows every detail, every life event, and here’s a secret. He doesn’t care, He loves you, all of you no matter what. Here’s another secret, no matter how much of a mess you think you made, you didn’t mess up his plan, because you’re not that powerful.

You have a purpose in your life. Look to this scripture planted in Ephesians 3:14-20, it’s of spiritual growth. It was written by Paul, and Paul wrote Ephesians to strengthen the believers in Ephesus with spiritual growth. He explained the nature and purpose of the church and the body of Christ.

“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

(Ephesians 3:14-20)

God’s love is so deep it reaches to the depths of discouragement, despair, depression, doubt and fear. When you feel shut down, isolated, nothing left, Jesus is with you, and you can never be lost to God’s love. We all face hardships. They come in many forms. I had to overcome sexual abuse, divorces, domestic violence and verbal abuse. These could have caused me to live in fear that I have been abandoned by God. But it is impossible to be separated from God. His death is proof of his unconquerable love. Nothing can stop Christ’s constant presence and light in us. No matter what happens to us, no matter where we are, we can never be separated.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)

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