Mindfulness & the Journey of Bereavement

Peter Bridgewater is a bereavement counsellor & supervisor with a UK bereavement charity. He has supported vulnerable clients voluntarily for over 20 years, working as a Samaritan, prison visitor and now with Cruse Bereavement Care. He is the founder and facilitator of a weekly drop-in bereavement support group in East Sussex. Peter explores mindfulness in his work and everyday life.

Contents
Prelims  pp1–7

Foreword by Satish Kumar 

Introduction: THE SOUND OF BEREAVEMENT  pp8–27
The emotional discord left by bereavement; the impact of losing someone central to our lives; how it can feel and what it might mean. Grief is the natural response to loss and each experience is exclusive. How we can resolve grief by developing mindfulness. Mindfulness; the art of conscious living. A look at the Grief Cycle Model. The thoughts of Thich Nhat Hanh and Jon Kabatt-Zinn.

Chapter One: DENIAL  pp28–51
An elaborate psychological defense mechanism. Learning to experience reality as it truly is. Mindfulness teaches us to manage difficult emotions and face reality. The finality of death. The waves of grief. Terminal illness & pre-bereavement. The importance of sleep and food. 

Chapter Two: ANGER  pp52–73
The antidote to anger is loving-kindness and compassion. How grief can feel like madness. What anger can create and how it can make us feel. Accept and clear away the red mist. Mindfulness is an invitation to see clearly and use our anger constructively. Family rifts. Talking therapies. Walking meditation. Experiencing nature. By seeing ourselves as part of the natural world, we can learn to enjoy being here. 

Chapter Three: BARGAINING  pp74–93
Our last-ditch bid at holding onto the person we love and cannot bear to let go. Bereaved by suicide. The God Q. Trust, one of the Seven Foundations of Mindfulness. The healing power of pets.

Chapter Four: DEPRESSION  pp94–105
Affects both mind and body. A prelude to acceptance. The antidote to depression is hope and gratitude. The intense pain of loss is only temporary; it passes eventually. Mindfulness can help us bear the pain of our journey. How death can bring new meaning and spiritual growth. Suicidal thoughts. Mindfulness vs medication. Bereavement journals. Gardening: the cycle of life.

Chapter Five: ACCEPTANCE  pp106-137
Adjusting to the new dynamics of where we find ourselves to be and go forward with our life. Awareness is allowing ourselves to accept the pain of loss. Gravestones & memorials. Memory boxes. Bereavement is a hinterland, terrifying, a dark void of hopelessness, and a landscape without end or boundaries. Anniversaries & special times. Letting go.

Afterword from Buddhist Grief Counsellor Ngak’chang Rinpoche  pp138–141

Endmatter  pp142–144