Psychology, Emotion and Intuition in Work Relationships

Henry Brown, a retired solicitor, mediator and trainer, co-established a law firm in London, Waterloo and subsequently became a partner in a City of London firm. He co-founded and is a Vice-President of the Family Mediators Association and was Director of Mediation of the family lawyers’ organisation Resolution. Neil Dawson and Brenda McHugh are consultant systemic psychotherapists, lecturers and mediators. Having worked for over thirty years in child adolescent mental health services they are now programme directors at the Anna Freud National Centre for Children and Families where they have co-founded The Family School, London for children excluded from mainstream schools. They are internationally recognised trainers and have recently created an online training programme for mental health and school-based professionals.

Psychology, Emotions and Intuition in Work Relationships: The Head, Heart and Gut Professional

Contents Plan

1. On being a professional

The concept of "professional" in this work

A more effective professional role and understanding

The focus on substantive education and training

Gaining some understanding of the behaviour of others

Gaining some understanding about ourselves

What does the public expect from professionals?

Professional and personal authenticity

Professional jargon, mystification and patronisation

Conspiracy against the laity

The patronising professional

Client’s reactions and empowerment

Helping and healing professions

Defining the helping professions

Healing professions

The concept of the wounded healer

Further reading

2. Head, heart and gut:

Head – Brain and mind

Head, heart and gut in functioning and decision-making

The brain: central to understanding and functioning

Basic neuroscience: the brain and nervous system

Introduction to 100 billion neurons:

The nervous system

The human brain: old and new

The brain’s hemispheres: left and right brain

Two ways of thinking

Automatic processing

Conscious attentive processing

Intelligence

Some specialist views of the brain

The mindful brain

The social brain

The ethical brain

The spiritual brain

The mommy brain

The "new" brain

The mind

Further reading

3. Head, heart and gut:

Heart – Emotions

The heart as metaphor?

Cultural and biblical heritage

The heart’s physiological role in relation to the brain and emotions

Emotions and feelings

Emotional intelligence

Kinds of emotions

The purpose and effect of emotions

Feelings and consciousness

Emotions: reality and myths

The myth of rational decision-making

The myth that "negative emotions" are bad

The myth that "venting" an emotion will resolve it

The myth that women are emotional but men are not

Further relevance of emotions

Further reading

4. Head, heart and gut:

Gut – Intuition

Gut as metaphor

Intuition

What do we mean by intuition?

Everyday and expert intuition

A sixth sense?

Creative and predictive intuition

Complementary thinking

Heuristics

Intuition cautions

Availability error

The halo (and devil) effect

Framing effect

Fundamental attribution error

The representativeness heuristic

The overconfidence effect

Anchoring

Sunk costs fallacy

Some other factors and biases affecting intuition

Further reading

5. The hidden power of the unconscious

Don’t mention the war

Dagwood Bumstead and Basil Fawlty

Fundamental relevance of the unconscious

Freud’s unconscious

Jung’s collective unconscious and "shadow"

The cognitive approach

Freudian, Jungian or cognitive? What is this elusive unconscious? Does it even exist?

Some practical implications

Making decisions and choices: free will?

Intuition and "gut feelings"

Slips of the tongue and other errors

Body language (non-verbal communication)

Placebos and nocebos, Pygmalion and Rosenthal

Powerful and suppressed emotions distort effective functioning

Unconscious competence

Higher intuitions and inspiration

A springboard to other aspects

Further reading

6. The amygdala hijack: Triggers and strategies

The multiple roles of the amygdala

The amygdala hijack

Triggering the "amygdala hijack"

Fear

Panic

Anger

Shame and humiliation

21st Century multi-tasking

Rekindling amygdala hijack activators

Some strategies for dealing with amygdala hijack triggers

Empathy and compassion

Move off the topic causing distress

Support a shift into cognitive brain mode

Take a break

Deep breathing

Humour

Some longer-term strategies

Further reading

7. Understanding personality

The uniqueness of personality

Lord Scrutton’s elephant

The relevance of personality

Personality types and traits

Big Five

Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)

Contradictions in traits and preferences

Other personality tests

Personality disorders and traits

DSM-5 and other classifications

Maladaptive personality traits

Personality development

Cultural influences on behaviour patterns

Linear-active and multi-active

Cultural norms

Nature or nurture?

Some practical implications

Self-awareness

Relating to clients, patients, co-workers and others

Identifying and working with troubled personalities

The well-rounded professional

Further reading

8. Empathy, attunement and professional boundaries

Empathy: The essence of professional and personal relationships

Empathy and evolution

Empathy and sympathy

Empathy and rapport

Empathy in a professional context

Empathy, compassion and humanity

Empathy and reflective function (mentalisation or "theory of mind")

"Against empathy"?

Attunement

Attunement between parent and child: attachment theory

Interpersonal adult attunement

Intrapersonal attunement

The basic neuroscience of empathy, attunement and attachment

Mirror neurons

Other parts of the brain affecting empathy and attunement

Neural development and attachment

Neurobiology

Professional boundaries

Boundaried empathy

Other professional boundaries

Personal-professional boundaries

Some final thoughts about boundaries

Further reading

9. Professional relationships and expectations

Expectations of professional relationships

Expectations about the professional personally

Expectations about the professional environment

Expectations about the work to be done

Managing clients’ expectations

The power of expectations

Client centredness (person-centredness)

Transference and countertransference

Transference

Countertransference

Authority, power, trust and dependence

Authority

Power

Trust

Dependence

Culture and gender

Culture

Gender

Further reading

10. Enhancing professional relationships: Communication and other interpersonal skills

Essential communication skills

Active listening

Observing non-verbal communications

Acknowledging

Helping people to hear

Summarising

Questioning

Reframing

Avoiding professional jargon and mystification

Some other interpersonal skills

Establishing rapport

Maintaining professional presence and professional energy

Managing clients’ expressions of emotions

Understanding the value and use of symbolism and metaphor

Some communication practicalities

Terms of engagement

Some practicalities concerning communications

Further reading

11. Balancing professional and systemic tensions

The essential tension of opposites

Conflict and change

Systems and change

Profession v. Business

Public professional persona v. private persona

Tradition v. change: challenging the system

Systems thinking

Challenging and changing systems

The value of tradition

The downside of tradition

Recognising and managing concerns about change

Other competing professional tensions

Work pressure v. need for self-care and leisure

Budgetary constraints v. quality of care

Leadership v. democratic decision-making

Professional v. personal values

Further reading

12. High conflict personalities

Understanding high conflict personalities

What is a high conflict personality and how does it manifest?

Why professionals might need to know about high conflict personalities

Why do some people have high conflict personalities?

Attachment disorganisation

Personality disorder

Maladaptive personality traits and systemic influence

Links between attachment, personality traits and disorders, and high conflict

Cautions and reservations

Strategies for professionals dealing with high conflict personalities

Boundaried empathy

Empathetic objectivity – or reason and compassion

Structure and records

Small steps

Proactivity

Dealing with a client’s "world view"

Helping with understandings and responses

Helping decision-making inhibited by strong emotions

Seeking third party support where appropriate

High conflict endings

Further reading

13. Difficult people

Raise your hand if you’re a difficult person

Everyone is crazy except thee and me – and sometimes I’m not too sure about thee

What do you mean "difficult"?

Why some people are difficult and some strategies for dealing with them

Cautionary introduction

High conflict personalities

Anger – overt or suppressed

Non-cooperation and passive aggression

Power and control – and Machiavellianism

Negativity

Ambivalence and indecision

Intolerance of other views

It’s the situation, stupid

Further reading

14. Uncertainty, risk and imperfection

Living with uncertainty

The discomfort of uncertainty

Black Swans

Coping with uncertainty

Superstition: illusory control over uncertainty

The relationship between uncertainty and risk

Risk assessment and management

Risk-benefit analysis

Appreciating levels of risk and benefit

Complexity of risk measurement – decision trees

The considerable significance of subjective judgment

Prospect Theory

Risk tolerance and aversion

Imperfection

Striving for perfection

Living with imperfection

When imperfection constitutes professional negligence (malpractice)

Imperfection and paradox

Further reading

15. Negotiation

Negotiation fundamentals

To negotiate or not to negotiate – that is the question

Dealing with non-negotiable values

"Bargaining with the devil"

Negotiation approaches

Interest-based cooperative negotiation

Competitive negotiation

Reconciling interest-based and competitive approaches

Some practical aspects of negotiation

Preparation, design and set-up

Zone of (Possible) Agreement and the negotiation dance

The initial stages: anchoring

Continuing the negotiations

Some psychological aspects of negotiation

Emotions and the myth of rationality

Perceptions

Personality traits

Culture and gender in negotiation

Further reading

16. Conflict and disputes: management and resolution

Conflict and dispute outline

Distinguishing conflict and dispute

The paradox

Conflict

Dispute

Conflict resolution and management

Conflict resolution

Conflict management

Modes of responding to conflict

Dispute resolution: primary processes

Negotiation

Litigation – the court process

Religious courts

Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR): Introduction

Non-adjudicatory ADR

Mediation (conciliation)

The mini-trial (Executive Tribunal)

Neutral case evaluation (Early neutral evaluation)

Adjudicatory ADR

Arbitration

Contractual adjudication

Dispute Boards

Expert determination

Administrative or statutory tribunals

Hybrid ADR processes

Med-arb (mediation-arbitration)

Arb-med (arbitration-mediation)

Neutral fact-finding expert

Ombudsman

Online dispute resolution (ODR)

Further reading

17. Beyond technique

Beyond technique: the concept

Self-nurturing and establishing calm

Meditation

Mindfulness

Yoga

Purpose and meaning

Earning a living

Making a difference

Having a sense of purpose and meaning

Expressing our humanity

Working holistically

Enhancing expertise and skill

Maintaining professional identity and self-esteem

Unconscious competence revisited

Further reading

18. Support needs and resources

Professional backup, teams and networks

Working in teams

Professional networks and bodies

Supervision, consultancy, coaching and mentoring

Supervision

Consultancy

Coaching

Mentoring

Some frailties and problems requiring personal support

The Achilles Syndrome, self-doubt and the secret fear of failure

Stress

Anxiety and panic

Depression

Addiction

Other personal issues indicating a need for support

Relationship issues

Personality disorders and traits

Autism and Asperger Syndrome

Dissatisfaction with life path: Self-actualising and meaning

Counselling, psychotherapy and complementary therapies

Counselling and psychotherapy

Complementary therapies

Further reading

19 Transitions and Endings

Life and work transitions

Transitions: "Little dying" – endings and new beginnings

Life and work stages: The Empty Raincoat

Client and patients endings

Managing contentious endings

Preparing for retirement/Third Age

Financial preparation

Emotional preparation

Practical preparation

Transitions and endings

Further reading

Bibliography

Index