12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends (eBook)

Did you know there are hidden rewards to making amends? Without a willingness to experience our painful feelings, we can never grow and mature into the person we'd like to be. We can never reach our potential. We can never become our true-self.

To grow, we must stay in close contact with our experience, whatever it is. We need to stay in close contact with how we behaved in our relationships in order to make a thorough list of those we have harmed. We must face the wrongs we have done without running away from the truth.

If we were rigorously honest with ourselves while making the list of people we had harmed, we probably felt one or more of the following feelings: anxiety, shame, discomfort, or guilt. This is exactly what we were suppose to feel. We were learning that we don't have to feel comfortable to be OK. In fact, another hidden reward is that the more willing we are to feel uncomfortable the more comfortable we become. Yes, another paradox!

One of the many hidden rewards in working Steps 8,9, and 10 is to stay in close contact with our experience so we can learn from it. This self-understanding is at the heart of self-forgiveness and emotional recovery. --Excerpted from 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends

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Popular recovery author Allen Berger, PhD, guides us in working three of the most challenging of the Twelve Steps to reap the abundant rewards of making amends.Letting go of resentment and forgiving ourselves for our past wrongs are critical to recovery from alcohol and other drugs. Yet, Steps Eight, Nine, and Ten, which focus on making amends, can be some of the most challenging to work, because we must face ourselves and those who we have hurt or damaged. In 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends, Allen Berger, PhD, uses the same supportive, down-to-earth style as in his popular book 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery. His creative tools and tips will help us let go of anger, heal strained relationships, and make financial and emotional restitution. Through this transformative process we can: recover and maintain integrity; resolve or complete unfinished business; restore trust, self-esteem, and self-confidence; deepen our spirituality and peace of mind; and reinforce a strong commitment to recovery. By being accountable for our words and actions and moving forward with a compassionate and constructive approach to the world, we decrease our chance of relapse and learn to maintain a healthy, balanced life.