Jennifer Cook O'Toole has Asperger syndrome and is the mother to three young Aspie children. She graduated from Brown University, and attended Columbia University's Graduate School of Social Work. She has previously worked as a social worker, and a teacher in both special needs and mainstream education. She has also served on the Family Advisory Board for Levine Children's Hospital, North Carolina, and regularly gives presentations at hospitals and local universities on special needs parenting. In 2002 she was nominated for Disney's Teacher of the Year Award. More recently, she has been honored with the GRASP (Global and Regional Asperger Syndrome Partnership) 2012 Distinguished Spectrumite Medal, as well as the 2012 Temple Grandin Award for “outstanding accomplishment and contribution to [her] family and community”. She lives near Charlotte, North Carolina.

Acknowledgements. “Where was this Book when I, like, Needed it?" Rules, Posers and Speaking a Foreign Language: Introduction. Need-to-Knows: The Unspoken Rules – In Bullet Points. What you Need to Know about the Need-to-Knows: Making Sense of the Rules. 1. How Not to Make a Light Bulb: Why Everything is Hard Before its Easy. 2. The Potty-Training Rule: Knowing When a Thank You is Expected. 3. So You Noticed a Kindness: The Technicalities of Thank You. Quotealicious. 4. I'm Sorry: The Hardest Words to Say. 5. The “Perseverance” of “Perserverance”: Being Right vs. Being Included. 6. Perfectly Imperfect: Congratulations, You're Human. 7. But I Wasn't Laughing: Laughing with You vs. Laughing at You. Quotealicious. 8. Poof! You're Interesting: Being Interesting by Being Interested. 9. Mirror! Mirror!: Reflect, Reflect, Reflect. 10. You're Welcome: The Power of Compliments. Quotealicious. 11. Broken Spaghetti: The Benefits of Thinking Like a Wet Noodle. 12. Boiling the Pasta: How to Make that Flexible Thinking Thing Happen. 13. You've Got to Hold the Pillow: Why Criticism Matters. 14. Take a Breath and Watch the Hammer: Knowing How to Handle Criticism. 15. Speak in Sandwiches and Make Suggestions: Knowing How to Give Good Feedback. Quotealicious. 16. Unfiltered: White Lies and Trust. 17. Tact and the Triple-Filter: How Honest to Too Honest? 18. Literally?: What They Actually Mean. 19. Do I Need an Umbrella or an Ark?: Sorting Mountains from Molehills. 20. Temper, Temper: There Will Be More Apple Juice Tomorrow. Quotealicious. 21. The Science of a Greek Goddess: Hygeia, Aphrodite and Why They Were Such Good Pals. 22. Traveling by Bubble: Transparent Boundaries that Only NTs See. 23. Choices and Tactics: How to Recognise a Friend. 24. Who's Who, What's What: Friendship Levels and Cling Wrap. Quotealicious. 25. Standing Up Straight: Self-Advocacy, Anger Band-Aids and Being Heard. 26. Talking to Myself: Inner Dialogues and Old Tapes. 27. Likes, Tweets and Texts: Netiquette Need-to-Knows. 28. The Loveliest Curve and an Open Door: Beauty and Chivalry are Alive and Well. 29. There's More for Dinner than Mashed Potatoes: Missing the Bigger Picture. 30. Wedgies, Tattletales and Queen Bees: Taking Your Power Back from Bullies. 31. Through the Looking Glass: Laughing at Yourself without Being a Laughingstock. Stickies (Little Nuggets of Aspie Truth – Sticky- Note-Sized). Practice Sessions. Stick a Fork in it – We're Done. AKA: The Conclusion. Resources You Will Actually WANT to Use. Really. References.