Other Six Pack (eBook)

Introduction

“What is included in the ‘Six Pack?’ I’ll give you a hint, I’m not referring to beverages or your abs. The six pack are six of the most important lessons that never got taught in school, but we all need to succeed in life.”

Self-help books have been growing at about 11% a year since 2013 with no signs of slowing down. Currently on Amazon there are 417,000 self-help books with very catchy titles; one can only deduce that people are desperate to help themselves! You are bound to find one that speaks to you. The conundrum is that after reading one or two, or heck even ten, we should be helped, right? But we aren’t. Instead, we reach for the next book because the stories are relatable, the insights are helpful, and we believe we are closer than ever to being ‘fixed’. I buy these books; I analyze them, and I spend hours discussing them with other self-help junkies and colleagues. I love this genre because I am all about continual improvement and, like a fine wine, I hope to become better with age. Here’s what these books don’t have—my Six Pack! The purpose of this book is to help you gain the self-knowledge and necessary soft skills to effectively communicate with the world around you. These best practices will allow you to live a dynamic, engaging, and purpose filled life while helping those around you to do the same. As the world becomes more digitalized and techno-driven, our verbal skills are suffering and there is a palpable need for teaching effective communication skills. Think how much richer life would be if people just knew how to “say it” better and ask for what they needed in a way that made others want to help them get it. Mastering these skills at a young age would be ideal, but the next best time is right now because, let’s face it, small chat and public speaking are skills we use daily! Why should you spend half your life avoiding interactions, making excuses, or anxiously dreading social events, phone calls, meetings, or uncomfortable conversations because you don’t know how to handle them skillfully? Whether you are an introvert an extrovert or somewhere in between, finding your voice can be challenging, but there are many little tricks to help ease your nerves and help you shine. As children, our parents can unintentionally feed into the natural inclination some children have for being soft spoken, shy, or insecure by speaking for them. When possible, allow your children to order for themselves in restaurants. Encourage children to speak respectfully to teachers when they have a problem in the classroom. Teach them how to have friends and to advocate for themselves. Translated loosely, I can teach you to conquer the fear of public speaking, regardless of your personality type. Most of the people I coach probably identify more closely with being introverted and they are shocked at how comfortable they eventually become with expressing themselves. The terrific news is that you have a friend and confidant in me, and I desperately want to see you succeed. You are about to join me on the road to freedom and the gateway to being “un-stuck” is about to swing wide open for you. In fact, whatever manifestations of communication related stress you are exhibiting, I can promise you that they are very common, and the solutions are probably in this book. I’m not promising you that I can wave a magic wand and have them disappear overnight, but together we can greatly improve your situation. There is nothing new here that cannot be fixed. (Spoiler alert, we will address many of these problems in the section on stress, anxiety, and panic.)

Each part of the Six Pack has communication rules that will make your life easier and allow it to run more smoothly. You won’t have to reinvent the wheel every time a new situation arises. Instead, you will learn how to react calmly to most situations and be able to predict peoples’ responses. When you can predict outcomes, you can tailor your communication to achieve desired results. These rules will help you to gain control of your feelings, your reactions, and improve your quality of life. Fact—your future success will largely be determined by how well you communicate with others. You will be less stressed and more peaceful. Who doesn’t want more of that? I have great faith in all of you and while I know that some of you are already good communicators at this point in your life, we are going for excellence here, not mediocrity. If you believe you are already excellent, this book will serve as a reinforcement to the behaviors you already have. It will, hopefully, encourage you to teach and help others who don’t possess these skills. These six lessons will be the difference between getting the job, the date, the dream, the peace of mind that you have been waiting for your whole life or you continuing to struggle. My montra has always been, “Struggle, Struggle, Stride.” It’s time to stop struggling and start striding! I hope your copy of this book gets worn and tattered from regular reference and continued use.

So, what is the Six Pack and why is it the missing link in all the self-help books, TikTok’s, Instagram reels, and Ted Talks you’ve listened to so far? The Six Pack delineates six major self-help areas that are unaddressed in schools and other self-help materials and, until now, have not been grouped together in one useful resource. The result will be a polished version of your best self. The identification process extends beyond mere personality tests; it forces you to dig deep and reveal core aspects of self-knowledge, specific to you that have thus far laid dormant. The revelations you discover about yourself will lift the veil that has held you back and help you to understand why you may have struggled achieving success or having clear self-identification up until this point.

There are three kinds of people—ask yourself which one you might be. First, there are those who have no idea what their talents are and therefore can’t develop them. These people need help identifying who they are and what they care about. Second are the ones who know their talents, but don’t know how to best utilize them; these people are often frustrated and settle for using their talents as a hobby. Last are the people who know their talents, they may even know who needs them, but they still struggle finding a vehicle that will turn them into a livelihood. Regardless of which person you identify with, this book is for you. This book will have you stop looking at obstacles as roadblocks and instead see them as opportunities. Michelangelo’s David statue, the most famous in all of Florence if not the world, is a magnificent work of art. He took an abandoned piece of marble and created a seventeen-foot statue of the biblical hero, David. When he was asked how he created David, he said, “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” I would like to think that each of you is a masterpiece waiting to be set free. He also said, “The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high, and we miss it, but that it is too low, and we reach it.” I want to be sure your aim is just right!

Armed with accurate self-knowledge, you will be able to aim just high enough to keep stretching yourself and achieving your goals, whatever they may be. I am going to give you the tools to turn your daydreams into realities. As a coach, people come to me because they want to have their gifts discovered and their greatness revealed, and most are willing to work hard to uncover it. They want to get un-stuck! How about you? Would you like to get un-stuck? Beginning right now, I want you to shed the mindset of mediocrity and embark on the idea of excellence. Be intentional and lose that scarcity mentality that so many people cling to like a life raft. Don’t settle for a half-baked, so-so existence; you were made for so much more!

I continually hear employers, colleges, law schools, and business schools lamenting the oral and written skills of their incoming students or new employees. (The impetus for me to write this book.) While writing a book was never a goal of mine, it seemed like other books talked around the subject, failing to offer specific examples of how to carry out normal, everyday conversations. In a society that has become more reliant on text than speech, the need for specific communication coaching is real. In an effort to be as relevant as possible, I will give you two decades of experience and stories from my coaching practice, with client’s names being changed, of course. In addition to the art of communication, there is the art of knowing how to weave basic etiquette skills into your everyday life. While that may sound old fashioned to you (because who even uses the word etiquette anymore?) This is where I put the whole story together for you. After reading this book, you will feel much more comfortable in your own skin in a wide variety of settings. Look at this book as the secret handshake to the club you have been locked out of…until now! I know you are craving information on how to unlock life’s secrets, get more joy out of life and decrease your anxiety and don’t necessarily want it limited to 144 characters, so I built you a book. You are probably wondering, “What is included in the “six pack”? I’ll give you a hint, I’m not referring to beverages or the gym. The six pack are six of the most important lessons that never got taught in school, but we all need to succeed in life. Each one of them goes deeper and wider than their title would lead you to believe....