Think to Win (eBook)
100 Seiten
Made for Success Publishing (Verlag)
978-1-64146-568-7 (ISBN)
Chapter 2
Identify Your Pessimism
Why Is It Impossible?
Doing The Turkey Trot
One Thanksgiving, my daughter Alexa thought it would be a fabulous idea to run a 10K fundraising race called the Turkey Trot. The proceeds provided meals for low-income families. I embraced the idea enthusiastically, and we both signed up. To ensure that I would not be the last turkey to finish the race, I started training daily. But after a couple of weeks, my bright self-image as a tireless young champion athlete began to fade a bit. My motivation began to lapse as I visualized the effort it was going to take.
Finally, I explained to my daughter that my schedule was so busy, perhaps we should delay our trot until the following year. Alexa, who was eleven at the time, gave me one of those reproachful daughter looks. “Dad,” she chided, “you’re focusing on the obstacles instead of the objective.”
Huh? That sounded familiar. I’d been telling audiences that for years! There I was, dwelling on the daunting task ahead, instead of the exultation of crossing the finish line with my darling daughter.
I’m not suggesting that you discount the effort or difficulties involved as you pursue your possibilities. Don’t kid yourself that an ambitious goal won’t be tough. That’s delusional thinking, and you’ll soon lose momentum. Acknowledge up-front how much work it’s going to be, and you’ll increase your possibilities instead of decreasing them. Anyone who makes it to the top (or to the finish line) understands the effort required to achieve desired possibilities.
A realistic assessment of the challenges ahead is not an adequate reason to abandon the race. Some people focus on the barriers they may face and abandon possibilities before they even begin. Those who make it—who achieve greatness, even—are those who decide to take the first step anyway. And then the next... and the next!
Of course, there will still be disappointment, difficulty, and discouragement. How do we counteract that? My friend Jeff Salz, an accomplished rock climber, tells me that when his arms tire, he immediately thinks of the potential view awaiting him at the top. How about you? Have you thought of what your view will look like?
I am happy to report that I did not finish last in the Turkey Trot race. There was one person behind me, nipping at my heels: an athletic-looking young man, perhaps twenty-five years old. He was driving a golf cart, weaving back and forth to pick up the orange cones that outlined the race course!
The reality is that in the pursuit of ambitious possibilities, we are likely to fail or finish last. To stay optimistic, we must think again about these experiences. Some people see setbacks as absolute failures, while others view them as valuable information gathering. If you are reluctant to attempt something because you fear negative results, here is a compelling thought: who really loses? The person finishing last, or the one who never entered the race?
Pooh’s View Of Possibilities
The stories we read as children—and read to our children—often contain powerful messages about possibilities. Remember The Little Engine That Could? What a great parable about determination. How about Dr. Seuss’s Oh, the Places You’ll Go!, a story that rejoices in the potential everyone has to fulfill their wildest dreams? It’s too bad this childhood wisdom sometimes fades as we age and become “terminally adult.”
One classic character who lives a life filled with possibilities is A.A. Milne’s Winnie-the-Pooh. What a great role model! Now, you may scoff and think, “What can I possibly learn from a storybook bear who loves honey?” Here’s what.
Pooh is someone who refuses to become discouraged, despite dire circumstances and some pessimistic friends. In addition to level-headed Christopher Robin and bouncy Tigger, Pooh also has some fairly dispiriting pals. There’s Eeyore, the dismal donkey, who walks around in a cloud of perpetual gloom and melancholy. And then there’s worried little Piglet, always asking, “What if we’re lost?” or “What if we fail?” It is up to Pooh to provide a positive alternate view.
One day, Pooh and Piglet are walking through the forest in a heavy wind that turns into a roaring gale. Piglet, as usual, becomes alarmed at the negative possibilities, and raises a question: “Supposing a tree fell down when we were underneath it?” Pooh thinks carefully, and replies, “Supposing it didn’t?”
Pooh is always asking questions that challenge Piglet to think about circumstances from a different perspective. Pooh is helping Piglet to think again.
No matter who we are or what we have achieved, we all have a little Pooh and a little Piglet in us. People who are open to possibilities are focusing on their Pooh side. When we keep a little Pooh in our outlook, our possibilities multiply. If you constantly interpret situations and facts in Piglet mode, stop and consider the Pooh view. To be our best, we all need to be full of Pooh. (Happily, people are constantly telling me that I am full of it.)
Have you noticed that many worries tend to fall into two categories—those that are unlikely, and those that are unimportant? If paralyzing worry is blocking possibilities, try asking yourself these three questions.
Question 1: How Likely Is This To Happen?
The reality is that almost anything can happen, but what are the actual chances? Like Pooh, take a moment to question the probability of a negative outcome by considering facts. Facts build fortitude.
Some people seek out or invent drama to energize themselves. However, if catastrophizing has the opposite effect—if the imaginary possibilities for disaster distract you from the real possibilities for opportunity—go Pooh. Examine the facts, re-evaluate your thinking, and consider adopting an optimistic perspective.
Sometimes people come up to talk to me after my presentations. Occasionally, some tell me how they wish they could have my attitude, but it’s just not possible. I am humbled by their comments, but in reality, my life is not very different from theirs. We all face challenges, and we all have choices. As we chat, it usually becomes clear that what’s getting them down hasn’t happened yet. In fact, there is often overwhelming evidence that it will probably never happen. They’ve been blinded by their personal viewpoint and haven’t examined the evidence from an alternate perspective.
If you are stuck in Piglet mode, surrounded by alarming consequences that are blocking your way, seek out a Pooh. Not someone who offers empty platitudes of reassurance, but someone who can help you evaluate whether your thinking fits the facts. Maybe you’re right. Maybe something is really wrong that needs to be confronted. Or maybe you’re the one who’s wrong. The French essayist Montaigne said, “My life has been a series of catastrophes—most of which never happened.”
Question 2: If It Happens, Is It Really Important?
The main drawback of focusing on problems is that they distract you from noticing and pursuing opportunities. One common piece of advice about unproductive worrying is: “You won’t remember this worry in a hundred years.” I can’t remember what I had for lunch, and I’m still at the table staring at my empty plate!
My late friend Richard Carlson wrote the book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. What a profound life principle—to live positively and conserve your mental energy for possibilities instead of problems. As an objective self-observer, I realize that I have given disproportionate significance to the small stuff. Have you ever lain awake at night, worrying about something that might happen? The next morning you wake up and, momentarily, you’ve forgotten all about it. Then it comes back to you, and you say to yourself, “Time to start worrying again.”
I find it fascinating that many people cope more effectively with the big stuff than the small stuff. Then they proceed to let little irritants assume insurmountable importance.
Question 3: What’s The Best Thing
That Could Happen?
Many self-help books advise the following way to increase your courage in tough situations: “Just imagine the worst thing that could possibly happen.” The underlying logic is that this will strengthen you for whatever is to come. However, whenever I mention this strategy to people who are discouraged, they tell me they’ve already rehearsed and anticipated all the negative events so thoroughly that they can recite every tiny detail as if it had already happened.
Instead, my suggestion is to rehearse and imagine the best that can happen. Here’s a positive strategy. Let’s say you are considering pursuing a possibility that seems a bit daunting. Therefore, to prepare for the great possibilities that are going to require extra stamina and courage, you must do the following:
Relive past successes. Make a list, mental or on paper, of the times you’ve tried and succeeded. Here is a powerful mental image: braid a rope of past achievements to hang on to, both in good times and challenging ones.
Release past disappointments....
Erscheint lt. Verlag | 9.3.2021 |
---|---|
Sprache | englisch |
Themenwelt | Sachbuch/Ratgeber ► Beruf / Finanzen / Recht / Wirtschaft ► Bewerbung / Karriere |
Sachbuch/Ratgeber ► Gesundheit / Leben / Psychologie ► Lebenshilfe / Lebensführung | |
ISBN-10 | 1-64146-568-9 / 1641465689 |
ISBN-13 | 978-1-64146-568-7 / 9781641465687 |
Haben Sie eine Frage zum Produkt? |
Größe: 1,3 MB
DRM: Digitales Wasserzeichen
Dieses eBook enthält ein digitales Wasserzeichen und ist damit für Sie personalisiert. Bei einer missbräuchlichen Weitergabe des eBooks an Dritte ist eine Rückverfolgung an die Quelle möglich.
Dateiformat: EPUB (Electronic Publication)
EPUB ist ein offener Standard für eBooks und eignet sich besonders zur Darstellung von Belletristik und Sachbüchern. Der Fließtext wird dynamisch an die Display- und Schriftgröße angepasst. Auch für mobile Lesegeräte ist EPUB daher gut geeignet.
Systemvoraussetzungen:
PC/Mac: Mit einem PC oder Mac können Sie dieses eBook lesen. Sie benötigen dafür die kostenlose Software Adobe Digital Editions.
eReader: Dieses eBook kann mit (fast) allen eBook-Readern gelesen werden. Mit dem amazon-Kindle ist es aber nicht kompatibel.
Smartphone/Tablet: Egal ob Apple oder Android, dieses eBook können Sie lesen. Sie benötigen dafür eine kostenlose App.
Geräteliste und zusätzliche Hinweise
Buying eBooks from abroad
For tax law reasons we can sell eBooks just within Germany and Switzerland. Regrettably we cannot fulfill eBook-orders from other countries.
aus dem Bereich