It's About the &quote;I&quote; - Tseday Aberra

It's About the &quote;I&quote; (eBook)

A New Perspective On How to Build a Fulfilling and Sustainable Marriage Or

Tseday Aberra (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2019 | 1. Auflage
200 Seiten
Bookbaby (Verlag)
978-1-7322737-2-6 (ISBN)

This book is about the management of marriage or long-term relationship in a professional and efficient manner in order to make it fulfilling and sustainable. Dr. Tseday has developed a unique approach to the management of long-term relationships that is innovative, fresh and more importantly, practical. Her approach is to present a bird's eye view of the process of "e;creating"e; and then "e;maintaining"e; a successful long-term relationship, by taking many different concepts, connecting them to one another, and developing a methodology that is comprehensive and pragmatic. Dr. Tseday's methodology is called: The Life Simplified Concepts (LSC), and it breaks down the necessary steps to succeed in a long-term relationships in a way that is intelligent and practical. This book is for people who are looking to learn about relationship in a serious and comitted manner. It is for those who are tired of having their intelligence insulted with gimmicky language and short-term solutions. It is designed for intelligent people who are seeking for a pragmatic and practical approach to dealing with their relationships. This book, Dr. tseday, and her overall methodology are for people, irrespective of age and marital status, who take themselves and their relationship seriously, and are tired of rehashed conventional couples counseling with its outdated methods and childish tricks.

Getting to Know Me

This book is about the pursuit of happiness, the kind of happiness that’s only found in marriage and long-term relationships. There are many ways for a person to find happiness but as far as I’m concerned, true happiness can only be achieved by being in a committed, monogamous relationship that’s fulfilling and sustainable.

I know people don’t think it’s possible to have a relationship that’s fulfilling and at the same time sustainable. I know this because my clients keep telling me it’s not. They say you can have one or the other but not both at the same time.

In terms of fulfillment, they think it’s possible to have an exciting relationship where two people can’t have enough of each other, but not for long. And in terms of sustainability, they can get behind the idea of longevity in a relationship where a couple can stay together for a long time, but not without losing some of the excitement.

But in no way do they believe a relationship can be fulfilling and sustainable at the same time. I’m here to tell you, as I’ve told them repeatedly that it’s very much possible for you to have a relationship that’s freeing, empowering and capable of maximizing your happiness, provided you do what’s necessary.

Contrary to popular belief, marriage and happiness are not mutually exclusive. A lot of people believe a long-term relationship is something that must be tolerated despite the obvious perks. They concede there are benefits to being married but they also admit the benefits come with a price. I can’t say I blame anybody who shares that thought, especially after coming across many couples who mistreat one another and take their marriage for granted.

When starting a long-term relationship, I know how much people feel they have to compromise and tolerate to make an arrangement they consented to, work in their favor. I’ve seen many times how loving couples can turn on one another so quickly and become the primary cause of each other’s unhappiness. To these couples, marriage is like a double-edged sword; a source of happiness and grief at the same time.

As the story goes, if you give a hammer to a monkey, sooner or later, it will smash the tool against its fingers. And even after learning how to use the hammer to crush nuts, the monkey doesn’t quite master its proper use. And from then on, as much as the primate appreciates its usefulness, it will forever remain skeptical of the hammer. The same is true for the typical, ordinary married couple. It doesn’t have to be but, most couples see their long-term relationship this way; appreciative of the benefits it provides but always cynical of its power to do damage.

Many people believe marriage makes them happy but only to a certain extent. I’m proven right of that assumption with every new couple I get to work with. It never ceases to amaze me when I’m reminded of the gap between the level of happiness couples think is realistically achievable, and the level I know they can achieve if only they knew how. To those of you who don’t have access to my private practice, this book is my first attempt to assist you in your discovery and hopefully help you narrow the gap between what is and what could be.

I promise you, if you give me enough time to show you what to do before and after you start a long-term relationship, or what to do to maintain it as exciting and fulfilling as it ought to be, I’ll prove to you that not only is it possible, but the changes you’ll make will also improve other parts of your life (personal, professional or otherwise).

My method is not just about fixing relationships; it’s about improving all relationships—good and bad, and all relationships can be improved. Whether you think your relationship is in trouble or believe you and your partner have achieved something special, this book will show you that there’s always room for improvement. The concepts discussed herein will prove to you that the level of marital bliss you can achieve is far beyond what you have now or what you think is possible, but only if you do things correctly.

When I say, “do things correctly,” I’m referring to doing things according to the Life Simplified Concepts (LSC), the methodology I developed. The first step to understanding the methodology is to accept the premise that marital bliss simply means having success in one’s marriage or long-term relationship. And as I have mentioned before, a successful long-term relationship is one that’s fulfilling and sustainable.

The second step to understanding the LSC methodology is to acknowledge there are two phases to consider when working towards a successful long-term relationship. The two phases are: the creating phase and the maintaining phase. The creating phase simply refers to the starting of a long-term relationship and the maintaining phase is the plan to keep the relationship as exciting and fulfilling as it was when it was created.

Although the overall approach requires you to be aware of said two phases, the methodology goes a lot further than that. It divides these two phases into four sections, with each section further breaking down one major concept into more elaborated mini-concepts. But it’s better to begin your exploration of the overall methodology with the four sections first.

These four sections correspond to the four steps you need to adhere to if you want to build a sustainable, fulfilling long-term relationship bent on maximizing happiness. The process begins with the first step or the first section which is about you (the self) and working towards improving yourself before you enter a long-term relationship.

If I were to compare you and your partner to the two main ingredients that make up a relationship, I would say that when the ingredients are of quality, the relationship created thereafter is as good as the ingredients. Success of any long-term relationship depends on improving the quality of the two persons who create the relationship, which according to the LSC, translates into becoming self-sufficient or achieving full Self-Sufficiency. I know you’re not exactly sure what that means yet but you will very soon. For now, just remember that Self-Sufficiency is the first step towards building a successful long-term relationship.

Then, the focus of achieving success switches from each person’s Self-Sufficiency to the relationship. To create a long-term relationship properly (or to create a proper long-term relationship), you’ll need to know how to assess the level of compatibility between you and your partner, and based on the assessment, determine if you two can sustain a fulfilling relationship.

A relationship is fulfilling when two people agree to meet each other needs and do so in a manner that’s satisfying to both. When expectations are met on both sides, there’s fulfillment. But in order to meet each other needs in the manner the partner wants and expects their needs to be met, the other must be willing and able. Ability to meet one’s partner’s needs is what determines the level of compatibility.

To turn a fulfilling relationship into one that’s also sustainable, both sides must first be satisfied with what they’re getting out of their relationship-agreement. And then, they must perform on an agreed-upon level of willingness and excitement where each person’s satisfaction remains high on a continuous basis. A relationship is fulfilling and sustainable at the same time when the two sides are committed to maximizing each other’s happiness and promise that their effort in meeting each other’s needs won’t lessen during the relationship.

The willingness to meet one’s partner’s needs becomes easier when there’s compatibility. In order to do so to full satisfaction, a couple needs to be compatible because that way, both sides will be doing what comes naturally to each person. This is how a proper long-term relationship is created. However, before you learn how to create one properly, you must first learn how to identify what a not-properly-created-relationship looks like. Under the LSC, such a relationship is referred to as a deficient relationship.

To fully understand what a properly-created relationship entails, you first need to know what a deficient relationship looks like and what makes it deficient. While you’re focused on the process of building a long-term relationship and busy putting the pieces together, it’s equally important to know which of your needs you must not include in your relationship-agreement as it is important which needs to include.

To better grasp the full picture of what a successful long-term relationship entails, you need to know the common characteristics of a flawed relationship and what you need to avoid when you create yours. A flawed relationship (i.e., a deficient relationship) is one that’s susceptible to the most obvious (but avoidable) pitfall that can derail not just yours but any long-term relationship.

According to the LSC, the solution to avoiding this pitfall is learning about The Three Entities concept and how to keep the entities separate from one another. Again, I know you’re yet to familiarize yourself with LSC terminology, but for now, just know that The Three Entities...

Erscheint lt. Verlag	1.2.2019
Sprache	englisch
Themenwelt	Sachbuch/Ratgeber ► Gesundheit / Leben / Psychologie ► Partnerschaft / Sexualität
ISBN-10	1-7322737-2-3 / 1732273723
ISBN-13	978-1-7322737-2-6 / 9781732273726

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