Entitlement-Free Child (eBook)

The world of entitlement wasn't created in a day. It took decades of consumerism and wealth, of superkids, supersized egos, and hypervigilant parents to amp up to current levels of entitlement behavior. The Entitlement Generation is typically defined as men and women born between 1979 and 1994. This new cultural force drew significant attention in the last few years as Florida State University (2005) and others reported that entitlement kids have grown up and entered the workforce with an unprecedented give-it-to-me-now attitude. One career counseling firm described them as poorly prepared and out of touch. Now, with the so-called Entitlement Generation entering parenthood, the entitlement issues are increasing. New parents need a way to distinguish parenting myths from parenting reality. But it isn't just the Entitlement Generation who needs an effective response to entitlement trends, it's everyone raising children today. The entitlement child is the one you see in the grocery store cart opening six different packages of food because nothing tastes good. The entitlement child is the child at someone else's birthday party running away with the presents or talking about the best gift from her party. The entitlement child is the child who unilaterally rules at home or in public. She decides what's for dinner and when it's time to leave an activity. Life is about her. Entitlement children are children who have learned from experience that they will get what they want if they demand loud enough or insist long enough. They might accomplish this with irresistible charm or with forceful persistence. Either way, not only do they know how to get their way, they expect it. The problem lies in the nature of that expectation-'Me! Mine! Now!'-without regard to anything or anyone else. Entitlement isn't a problem because a child seeks immediate gratification of all her desires-that's normal. The problem occurs when parents are confused about how to respond to childhood demands. Entitlement becomes a problem shared by all parents when outside pressures start to outweigh and overwhelm parental decision making. You know your child doesn't need designer clothes to wear to preschool, but you naturally want your child to fit in. You know your child has more toys at three years old than most children have in a lifetime, but what kind of parent doesn't buy new toys for birthdaysand holidays and on vacations and, and, and? If only the rest of the world would come to its senses, it would be much easier to stop the insanity. The University of Minnesota Birthdays Without Pressure Project confirms the pressure on parents is real. The website reports that 71 percent of parents claim that parties in their community cost too much and kids receive too many presents. Fifty-eight percent say they worry that their parties are not as good as their neighbors'. Parents choosing to resist community trends are not only swimming against a tidal wave of entitlement and consumerism, they also face the internal struggle of 'Why not my child?' The inner conviction to say no is overruled by outside influences. Unfortunately, the consequences of giving in put children at risk. The American Psychological Association Task Force on Advertising and Children (2004) reminds parents that children under the age of eight lack the cognitive skills to manage the persuasive powers of advertising. Children need adult protection from misleading images. Young children don't know the difference between needs and wants, they believe it when someone on television tells them they need the newest hot item, a cereal will make them happy, or that a $200 toy is affordable to everyone watching. A few isolated incidents may be...