Ask Yourself This (eBook)

Chapter Two

Ask Yourself This

To Know Yourself Better

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

—Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love1

Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.

—Lao Tse, Tao Te Ching

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.

—Carl Jung, Psychologist

How do you view yourself? Do you focus on your light, or do you dwell on your shadow? Are you even aware of everything that characterizes who you are? These are different ways of asking “How well do you know yourself?” Stop and think. How well do you really know yourself? How much time have you spent exploring what lies within you? Plato counseled, “Know thyself above all else.” Conscious awareness of who we are is the foundation of a happy and whole life.

Many times we are frightened by what we find when we look within. Our carefully constructed images of ourselves may prove false. The labels we have used to describe ourselves may not be accurate. We may even confront aspects of ourselves that we dislike.

True, unwavering self-love comes from knowing and embracing all parts of ourselves. We cannot deny the qualities we consider less than perfect. Our darkness is just as much a part of us as our light. Author and spiritual leader Deepak Chopra has said, “If you do not see your shadow, it is because you are standing in the dark.” In fact, seeing our shadow is necessary for truly appreciating our divinity. Just as we see the brilliant stars best on the darkest nights, so, too, do we realize and appreciate our own light when viewed against the backdrop of our humanness.

The questions on the following pages are meant to help you deeply explore all parts of your being so that you can begin to fall in love with yourself. Once you rediscover yourself on your deepest level, you can begin to truly evolve into a higher, more authentic and loving expression of you.

The final frontier is not outer space but inner space. Ask these questions with a childlike curiosity and sense of discovery. Pretend you are meeting yourself for the first time. Take time to get to know yourself.

Ask Yourself This

Who do I think I am?

Don’t ask this question from the usual place of doubt and insecurity. Ask this question to explore your own perceptions of yourself. This is seemingly one of the simplest self-discovery questions, but it requires deep reflection. What do you think of yourself? Who do you think you are? We are all more complex and wondrous than we believe. The spark of the divine and the innate potential within each of us is more vast than we could possibly imagine. Our internal power is always there waiting to be expressed. We need only say “yes” to it.

What a man thinks of himself, that is what determines, or rather indicates, his fate.

—Henry David Thoreau

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

—Lily Tomlin

My friend Mary went on a family vacation with her daughter and son-in-law to Mexico. While Mary’s picture of an ideal vacation was to relax while reading inspirational books, her daughter and son-in-law had something else in mind. After teasing and cajoling her, they convinced Mary to try driving an all-terrain vehicle in the sand dunes. As her daughter and son-in-law zipped past her in glee, Mary crept along, white knuckles gripping the handlebars. When she saw what fun the kids were having and how much faster they were going, she wondered if there was something wrong with her vehicle. Seeing her struggle, her son-in-law pulled up and whispered in her ear, “Mama, you have power you’re not using. Take your foot off the brake.”

Like Mary, we all have power we’re not using. But if we’re riding the brake, we can’t access it. Do you realize that you have tremendous power within and that you need only take your foot off the brake to let it flow through you? Or do you think you are incapable of living bigger? Who do you think you are? You have power within you that has been untapped and overlooked. Let go of your past limited views of yourself and you can release this vast potential.

We have all become so adept at categorizing ourselves that we forget that labels are nothing more than human attempts to classify and organize. A label is not the thing itself. It is both possible and exciting to venture out beyond the limits of the labels we’ve assumed. Many people derive their own sense of identity from the way others describe them. But our true identity is independent of external judgments. Our true identity comes from within. We must not allow ourselves to be held back by anyone else’s perceptions. What we’ve accepted about ourselves in the past does not have to control who we will become in the future. We can make other choices!

Take time to explore who you think you are. Realize, though, that no matter how well you may think you know yourself, you are always changing. Thus your understanding of yourself must also change.

People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars; and they pass by themselves without wondering.

—St. Augustine

If those who lead you say to you, “See, the kingdom is in the sky,” then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you, “It is in the sea,” then the fish will precede you. Rather, the kingdom is inside you, and it is outside of you. When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known, and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living Father. But if you will not know yourselves, you will dwell in poverty and it is you who are that poverty.

—From the Gospel of Thomas

Our inner consciousness is the final frontier because, regardless of any current certainty or understanding, our ever-evolving nature eludes permanent classification. Explore who you think you are and then let go of that limiting image. You are far greater than you can even imagine.

Ask Yourself This

What do I say “yes” to in my life?

Examining what we say “yes” to or what we agree to in our lives can tell us a lot about our priorities. Priorities can, in turn, tell us a great deal about ourselves. Where we spend our time and money is a powerful indicator of what we truly value. If you open your calendar, your checkbook and your credit card statement, you will see an important picture of what you are saying “yes” to in your life. We vote with how we spend our dollars and how we spend our time. What do you agree to in your life? Through both your words and actions, what do you say “yes” to?

Actions express priorities.

—Mohandas Gandhi

We do not have a money problem in America. We have a values and priorities problem.

—Marian Wright Edelman, Activist

A fun exercise is to ask yourself the following questions to see how you show up while doing life’s routine tasks. The answers are valuable indicators of what you consciously or unconsciously project to the world.

How do you drive in traffic? Our habits when behind the wheel speak volumes. When faced with a sea of brake lights ahead, do you aggressively change lanes to find the fastest route? Or do you calmly wait for your turn to move? When the light turns yellow, do you step on the gas even though you could stop? Or do you steadily but firmly apply the brakes so as not to risk an accident?

When you play board games with your family or friends, do you play for the sheer fun of it or do you play only to win?

How do you talk to your mother when you think no one is listening? Do you treat those close to you with love because you want to? Or because you feel you have to?

How do you treat your waiter or waitress at a restaurant? We can determine a lot about how we perceive our own status from how we treat those who serve us.

What do you spend your money on? Where we place our hard-earned income is one of the most powerful assessments of our priorities.

What makes you laugh? Humor can reveal our inner nature. Do you laugh at the expense of others? Or do you laugh with the joy and elation of others?

What makes you angry? What makes you cry? The way you respond to annoyances, challenges and hardships provides a snapshot of the inner workings of your personality.

We can learn even more about our inner selves by examining any discrepancies between what we value and what we are...