I Have to Move my Car

David Pannick QC writes a fortnightly legal column in The Times. He is a barrister at Blackstone Chambers in the Temple, London, where he specialises in all aspects of public law and human rights. He has been a Fellow of All Souls College since 1978 and is the general editor, with Lord Lester of Herne Hill QC, of Human Rights Law and Practice (Butterworths, 1999, 2nd edn March 2004).

Introduction Part I: Judges 1 May it please the Court 2 The number five psychic in the country 3 Stay loose, as a goose 4 You want a piece of me? 5 When a judge tries to sue the pants off a defendant 6 If the cap fits 7 The high court 8 Sweet dreams 9 What plays in the Las Vegas courts cannot stay in Las Vegas 10 Real chilli-hot stuff 11 The Ten Commandments judge 12 A good cry 13 The judge's spouse 14 'I have had enough' 15 A retiring judge 16 Cell phone 17 The copycat judge 18 Bedside manner 19 The judge obsessed with sex and death 20 Wild Bill 21 Never entirely English 22 Levin v Goddard 23 Bum point 24 Laughter in court can end in tears Part II: Lawyers 25 The go-to guy 26 No laughing matter 27 'A Holocaust survivor sent me a book on coping' 28 Welcoming a new DPP 29 Solicitors who make an exhibition of themselves 30 Prosecutors must not strike foul blows 31 Disasters of advocacy 32 A moving experience 33 Academic detours with Roy Stuart 34 Dozy counsel 35 Drunk in charge of a brief 36 Lawyers: don't you just love them? 37 Barristers bearing gifts 38 Mediocre lawyers 39 The trials of HLA Hart 40 The devil of a job 41 A loud clear voice and a good degree in ancient and modern history 42 Peter Duffy QC: an instinct for fairness 43 Promoting free trade in barristers 44 Honest Abe the lawyer Part III: Legal entertainment 45 'The parties are advised to chill' 46 Poetic justice 47 'Shizzle my nizzle' 48 Razzle Dazzle 49 Cartoon characters 50 R v Deirdre Anne Rachid 51 Searching my soul 52 'I'm gonna look after you' 53 What's your problem? 54 The jibber-jabber of counsel appearing before nancy-pansy judges 55 So whatyougonnado? 56 Leaving room for the possibility 57 Watching Ali fight in the courtroom 58 Killing in cold blood 59 A comedy of legal errors that ended in tragedy 60 Careless people 61 You be the judge 62 All the legal news that's fit to reprint Part IV: Unusual litigation 63 California dreaming 64 The pursuit of happiness 65 Not the ghost of a chance 66 Ruff justice 67 Parrot squawks before the beak 68 A Valentine's card that says 'Let's be having you' 69 Sticks and stones 70 FedEx sex in prison 71 A modern master on suffering 72 Being treated like royalty 73 Allowing restaurant critics to tuck in and give readers food for thought 74 Whip and tell is no basis for an employment policy 75 Reporting the law 76 Ensuring that justice is seen to be done