Sobriety For Dummies

Lane Kennedy has lived in long-term recovery for decades, using mindfulness, DNA, spirituality, and nutrition for total being wellness. Lane blends scientific insights with clear, relatable language to offer practical, life-changing guidance for long-term recovery. Tamar Medford is a guide in self-discovery, a certified neuro change master practitioner, podcast producer and host, and an author. With over a decade of experience in recovery and sobriety, she helps people uncover insights they may not see on their own.

Introduction 1

About This Book 2

Conventions Used in This Book 3

Foolish Assumptions 3

How This Book Is Organized 3

Part I: From Chaos to Clarity: Stepping Into Sobriety 4

Part II: Decoding the Elements of Addiction: Genetics, Environment, and Spiritual Dynamics 4

Part III: Living (and Loving) a Sober Lifestyle 4

Part IV: Overcoming Challenges and Thriving in Sobriety 5

Part V: The Road to Long-Term Sobriety 5

Part VI: The Part of Tens 5

Icons Used in This Book 5

Beyond the Book 6

Where to Go from Here 6

Part 1: From Chaos to Clarity: Stepping Into Sobriety 7

Chapter 1: The Basics of Sobriety 9

Understanding Sobriety and Alcoholism 10

What is alcoholism? 10

Growth of alcoholism and addiction 11

Heavy drinker versus alcoholic 13

Cross-addictions 14

Embracing Sobriety 17

Mindful lifestyle choices 17

Sobriety versus recovery 18

Where you can get help 19

Relapse and recovery 20

Continuous sobriety 21

Chapter 2: Deciding to Embark on the Sobriety Journey 23

Recognizing the Need for Change 24

Acknowledging the impact of substance use 26

Asking yourself how substance use has affected you 26

Walking through consequences 28

The Mindset for Sobriety 28

Creating and cultivating a growth mindset 29

Focusing on self-compassion and resilience —but never just one 30

Breaking Down Barriers to Sobriety 31

Identifying and addressing your triggers 31

Overcoming stigma 33

Chapter 3: Overcoming Emotional Challenges in Your Recovery 37

Understanding The Power of Your Emotions 38

Identifying personal downfalls 39

Exploring resentments 42

Mapping emotional responses 43

Charting emotions and responses in sobriety 44

Developing Coping Mechanisms 50

Building your toolbox of strategies 52

What does emotional regulation look like for you? 55

How to create effective communication in times of emotional turmoil 56

Building Emotional Resilience 56

Recognize and embrace your vulnerability as strength 57

Defining the significance of self-compassion in recovery 59

Identifying emotional sobriety and adaptability 60

Chapter 4: Developing Long-Term Sobriety 61

Building a Solid Support Network 62

Find a reliable support system 62

Peer Support: Who are you accountable to? 64

Nurturing healthy relationships 66

Mindful Lifestyle Choices 68

What is mindfulness, and how do I get it? 68

Integrating mindfulness into daily life 69

Balancing work and leisure in recovery 69

Drafting your sobriety blueprint 72

Maintenance Skills 75

Continuous self-reflection and growth 76

Creating a daily practice and personal progress 77

Setting and adjusting long-term goals 79

Part 2: Decoding the Elements of Addiction: Genetics, Environment, And Spiritual Dynamics 85

Chapter 5: Genetic Factors and Environmental Influences 87

Understanding Genetic Predispositions 88

Exploring family history and genetic influences 88

Your genes matter — genetic links to substance use disorders 90

Understanding addiction mechanisms 93

The role of genetic testing in long-term recovery 97

Impact of Environmental Factors 98

Investigating early childhood experiences 100

How my peers influence me 101

Stressors and coping mechanisms 103

Navigating Genetics and My Environment 104

Recognize the combined impact on substance use 106

Have a personalized approach to recovery 107

Chapter 6: The Spiritual Dimension of Recovery 109

Recognizing Spiritual Sickness 110

Recognizing spiritual sickness 111

Defining spirituality 113

The roots of spiritual sickness 114

Consequences of untreated spiritual malady 115

Cultivating Spiritual Wellness 119

Spiritual values as a power — 12 spiritual principles for long-term recovery 120

Embracing a Higher Power 123

Discovering your personal values collage 127

Practices that promote spiritual health 129

Part 3: Living (and Loving) a Sober Lifestyle 131

Chapter 7: Navigating Social Situations 133

Socializing in Sobriety: Strategies and Challenges 134

The mindful sobriety social quest 135

Developing social skills in recovery 137

Creating a social activity tracker 138

Addressing social anxiety and awkwardness 140

Choosing sober-friendly social settings 142

Creating a plan B activity tracker 142

Dealing with Peer Pressure and External Expectations 144

Assertiveness in saying “no” to substance use 144

Setting boundaries with friends and family 145

Educating others about your sobriety 147

Creating a Supportive Social Network 148

Fostering healthy friendships in sobriety 149

Engaging in sober social activities 150

Building a community of like-minded individuals 154

Chapter 8: Embracing Mental, Physical, and Emotional Well-Being 157

Nurturing Mental Wellness in Sobriety 158

Understanding the brain on sobriety 159

Mindfulness and meditation practices 160

Mindfulness 162

Coping with stress and anxiety 164

Seeking professional mental health support and medication 166

Holistic Approaches to Physical Health 173

Your physical health: the role of lab tests 174

Prioritizing regular exercise in sobriety 177

Nutritional practices for recovery 180

Reduce cravings 181

Other treatments to support your recovery 182

The role of sleep in physical well-being 185

Discovering Emotional Wellness 187

Emotional wellness exercise: Identifying and defining your emotions 188

Understanding emotional regulation 190

Creating your personalized wellness routine 192

Celebrate your progress 194

Chapter 9: Finding Your Purpose and Joy 195

Exploring Personal Passions and Interests 196

Identifying hobbies and activities that bring joy 198

Reconnecting with long-forgotten interests 201

Journaling your interests 201

Channeling creativity as a source of purpose 203

Enjoying Meaningful Connections and Relationships 204

Building meaningful relationships in sobriety 205

Contributing to the community and others 208

Balancing social connections for personal fulfillment 210

Setting and Pursuing Life Goals 211

Discover your Ikigai 211

Defining personal and professional aspirations 214

Creating realistic and achievable goals 215

Part 4: Overcoming Challenges and Thriving in Sobriety 219

Chapter 10: Handling Challenges and Relapse 221

Recognizing and Understanding Triggers (aka Sparks) 222

Mapping your spark points 223

Identifying personal emotions for relapse 224

Environmental and emotional triggers (sparks) 227

Transform your space, transform your recovery 228

Potential relapse rriggers (sparks) 228

Developing strategies to navigate triggers 230

Coping Mechanisms in Times of Difficulty 231

Mindfulness and stress reduction techniques 232

Effective communication during challenges 233

Learning and Growing from Relapse Experiences 233

Understanding the root causes of relapse 235

Developing a relapse prevention plan 238

Complacency in late recovery and the risk of relapse 240

Embracing resilience and personal growth after relapse 241

Chapter 11: Healing Together: The Path to Rebuilding Trust and Strengthening Family Ties 243

Rebuilding Trust and Communication 244

Addressing trust issues within the family 245

Effective communication strategies in recovery 245

Communication reflection 246

Family therapy and counseling 248

Education and Support for Family Members 248

Understanding addiction as a family disease 250

Providing resources and information for families 251

Family support groups and networks 252

Establishing Healthy Family Dynamics 253

Setting boundaries for a supportive environment 254

Encouraging openness and honesty in the family 255

Chapter 12: Building a Career and Gaining Employment 257

Crafting a Sober-Friendly Career Plan 258

Crafting a sober-friendly career plan questionnaire 259

Identifying career interests and passions 260

Aligning career goals with sobriety 262

Building a career plan with recovery in mind 263

Career development at each stage of sobriety 264

Navigating the Job Search and Interviews Sober 266

Effective job search strategies for individuals in recovery 267

Addressing employment gaps and recovery in interviews 268

Disclosing sobriety in the workplace 269

Thriving in the Workplace Sober 270

Enjoying happy hour and other work events 273

Utilizing workplace support systems 274

Career development and advancement in recovery 275

Moving forward: Integrating career and sobriety goals 276

Part 5: the Road to Long-term Sobriety 277

Chapter 13: Setting the Stage for Long-Term Sobriety 279

Establishing a Solid Foundation for Recovery 280

Building a supportive network 282

Developing healthy coping mechanisms 283

Creating a sober living environment 285

Harmonizing your space for neurobiology 286

Identifying warning signs 287

Crafting a Comprehensive Relapse Prevention Plan 291

Building your personal relapse prevention blueprint 292

Implementing strategies for high-risk situations 293

Fortifying against high-risk situations 294

Regularly reviewing and adjusting the plan 296

The Journey of Sustained and Continuous Sobriety 297

Chapter 14: Lifestyle Changes for Lasting Sobriety 299

Creating a Sober-Friendly Daily Routine 300

Sleep and sobriety 305

Incorporating healthy meals and snacks into daily life 306

Prioritizing regular physical activity in daily routine 309

Socializing and Networking in Sober Circles 310

Sober social events and activities 311

Building connections within recovery communities 312

Nurturing healthy friendships that support sobriety 314

Having Fun in Sobriety 316

Exploring hobbies and activities without substance use 318

Planning sober-friendly entertainment and events 319

Chapter 15: Developing Coping Mechanisms and Resilience (Mindfulness) 321

Introduction to Mindfulness Practices 322

Mindfulness versus mindlessness 323

Understanding the basics of mindfulness 325

Habit loops 326

The role of mindfulness in coping mechanisms 328

Benefits of incorporating mindfulness in recovery 330

Mindfulness Techniques for Coping with Stress 333

An intersection of two practices — mindfulness and stoicism 335

Mindful stoic relations 336

The stoic circle of influence in relationships 338

MBSR in long-term recovery 339

A step-by-step guide to practicing MBSR 341

Mindfulness Techniques 343

Mindful breathing and relaxation exercises 343

Mindful observation of thoughts and emotions 344

The stream of consciousness — mindful observation 345

Cultivating a mindful approach to challenges 347

Embracing the challenges mindfully 347

Mindfulness in the face of your personal sparks 349

Integrating mindfulness into daily life for long-term resilience 352

Part 6: the Part of Tens 355

Chapter 16: Ten Ways to Discover Your Sobriety

Purpose 357

Set Goals 358

Explore Passions 358

Connect with Others 358

Service to Others 359

Practice Vision Exercises 359

Seek Professional Guidance 360

Educate Yourself 360

Embrace Growth 360

Celebrate Wins 361

Navigate Social Situations and Awkwardness 361

Chapter 17: Ten Ways to Achieve Long-Term Sobriety 363

Find a Sense of Connection 363

Build a Strong Community 364

Get Professional Help/Support 365

Design Your Life of Sobriety 365

Develop Coping Skills 366

Keep Learning 367

Set goals for Long-Term Recovery 367

Change Your Lifestyle 368

Practice mindfulness and Meditation 369

Explore mental Health/Medication 369

Index 371