How to Listen so Parents Will Talk and Talk so Parents Will Listen (eBook)

JOHN SOMMERS-FLANAGAN, PHD, is an Associate Professor in the Department of Counselor Education at The University of Montana. He serves as??a psychological??consultant with Trapper Creek Job Corps, a vocational and educational facility. His research interests include clinical interviewing, parent consultations,??and adolescent psychotherapy. RITA SOMMERS-FLANAGAN, PHD, is a Professor in the Department of Counselor Education??at The University of Montana. She??provides mental health??consultation at the Missoula Vet Center and Trapper Creek Job Corps. She has taught and written in the area of applied, practical ethics for the past fifteen years.

Case Examples ix

Preface xi

Part One: Understanding And Being With Parents

Chapter One

A Way of Being With Parents 3

Chapter Two

Preparing Yourself to Work Effectively With Parents 17

Chapter Three

What Parents Want: A Model for Understanding Adult Influence 33

Part Two: Strategies For Working With Parents

Chapter Four

From Initial Contact to Assessment: Building and Maintaining a Working Relationship With Parents 57

Chapter Five

Collaborative Problem Formulation 75

Chapter Six

Creating and Providing Guidance, Advice, and Solutions 93

Part Three: Practical Techniques For Parenting Challenges

Chapter Seven

Teaching Relationship-Based Interventions to Parents 113

Chapter Eight

Sharing Power to Gain Influence: Indirect and Problem-Solving Interventions 133

Chapter Nine

A New-and-Improved Behaviorism: Child-Friendly but Direct Approaches to Discipline 153

Chapter Ten

Ongoing Contact, Complications, and Referrals 177

Chapter Eleven

Dealing With Special Situations and Issues 195

Appendix A: An Annotated Bibliography of Parenting Books 209

Appendix B: Tip Sheets for Parents 217

Appendix C: Parent Satisfaction and Counselor Reflection Inventory 229

Appendix D: Master List of Attitudes, Strategies, and Interventions 233

Appendix E: Chapter Checklists 235

Appendix F: Parent Homework Assignments 241

References 261

Author Index 271

Subject Index 275

"In keeping with person-centered theory and therapy, John and Rita
Sommers-Flanagan have produced a book that will be immensely
helpful for professionals who work with parents. Throughout the
pages, there are many examples of practitioners honoring and
respecting parents and listening deeply to how best be of help. I
am delighted that this book continues to echo and expand on my
father's work."

--Natalie Rogers, PhD, Distinguished Consulting
Faculty, Saybrook University, author, The Creative Connection:
Expressive Arts as Healing

"Because parenting can be such a dizzying task, professionals
working with parents need to have intelligible, compassionate, and
ethical principles to guide their work. John and Rita
Sommers-Flanagan have mastered this complex terrain, and we are
fortunate, in this articulate and accessible book, to gain from
their exceptional experience and wisdom."

--Andrew Peterson, EdD, author, The Next Ten
Minutes: 51 Absurdly Simple Ways to Seize the Moment