Pains in the Office (eBook)

Andrew Holmes is a writer, grumpy old man, gadfly and collector of stories and observations about the people around him. He spends far too much time getting worked up about other people's failings for his own good and has taken up Salsa dancing to take his mind off it all. he likes to spend as much time as possible with his family - at home, with the curtains drawn, the phone off the hook and the door locked securely. Dan Wilson is an illustrator, artist, thinker and borderline genius who clearly suffers delusions of grandeur. he started doodling at the age of three and has rarely stopped. Allergic to suits, Dan avoids all pains in public by hiding out in his ivory tower in front of the drawing board. He also enjoys tea, pylons and riding his All Terrain Board.

Pains - A Catalyst for Social Change.

Acknowledgements.

The Joy of Work.

The Arse Coverer.

The Ball Breaker.

The Body Beautiful.

The Boozer.

The Bowel Mover.

The Bully.

The Butt Licker.

The Chimneystack.

The Company Bike.

The Competitor.

The Control Freak.

The Corrupt Bastard.

The Diet Bore.

The Dinosaur.

The Distractor.

The Early Bird.

The Eccentric.

The Egotist.

The Excuse Maker.

The Extracurricular.

The Fad Surfer.

The Flash Git.

The Gooser.

The Gossip.

The Grass.

The Great Bore of Today.

The Idle Git.

The Jargon Junkie.

The Leech.

The Liar.

The Little Big Man.

The Love Birds.

The Martyr.

The Masticator.

The Mental Masturbator.

The Midas.

The Mismanager.

The Moaner.

The Nitpicker.

The Nose y Parker.

The Political Corrector.

The Politician.

The Road Block.

The Sarky Bastard.

The Sinatra.

The Space Invader.

The Stress Junkie.

The Teflon and Marigold.

The Village Idiot.

Afterword.

"...ought to elicit a chuckle of recognition or two." (Publishing
News, 19th March 2004)

"Pains in the Office (Capstone 2004) contains pastiches of
easily identifiable office types such as the Boozer, the Butt
Licker and the Bully...this book offers genuinely useful tips on
how to deal with such types. A volume no office lavatory should be
without." (Daily Telegraph, 22nd February 2006)