SoberPowers (eBook)

Introduction

Breakthrough

“I can’t believe my drinking has come to this,” I thought, reaching for my phone. It was time to confess. I hadn’t been showing up to work, and my boss knew something was wrong. I was in full blown survival mode. It was time to set things straight.

That day, I was reeling. My nerves were racked from constant anxiety. My head was spinning. The buzzing in my ears made it feel like I was being electrocuted. In short, I felt like absolute shit. I was on the tail end of another week-long bender, and I had to minimize the damage. “I had done this before though, right?” Not exactly. At this point, everything had caught up to me. And people had caught on to me.

The excuses wouldn’t work anymore. This way of life wouldn’t work anymore. People were fed up, and so was I. Reaching for that phone in utter desperation was my rock bottom.

That was three years ago.

It’s All Fun and Games, Until It’s Not

Looking back, I didn’t have much reason to become addicted to alcohol. As far as I know, it doesn’t run in my family. I didn’t even start drinking until college. But a decade of serious boozing and living amidst a heavy drinking culture left me vulnerable. It also gave me social anxiety and a habitual method for dealing with it. And that habit got out of control. By the time I was 30, I needed booze for almost every occasion. Good or bad, a drink (or 20) made life go down more smoothly. Until it didn’t.

I’m not gonna lie—drinking was fun for a very long time. I owe the early parts of my career to being able to hang out and connect with my more established colleagues. I had countless adventures while under the influence, none of which would have happened if I had been sober. I was good at drinking. I enjoyed drinking. And I was in control of it. Until the day came that I wasn’t. But I didn’t see it that way at the time. Alcohol played such a seemingly positive role in my life, it was hard to admit when it started to drag me down.

Like any bad habit, my drinking progressed. What started as “just a bad hangover now that I’m getting older,” mutated into something sinister. There came a point when I could no longer control my drinking. I would frequently black out. The next day, my anxiety and stomach ache would be so bad that only another drink would get me out of bed. Sound familiar? I still remember those terrible mornings, lying in bed, ready for the day to be over. Promising myself that “this would be the last time.” As the day began, I’d reach for some booze to calm my nerves. Other times, I’d count literal minutes until my anxiety would hopefully subside. It never really did. I was trapped in the world of active addiction, and it wasn’t a fun place to be. I’m guessing you can relate.

Pretty soon, my life was like being on a never-ending roller coaster. I was either drunk or hungover. But none of it was really all that fun. The more regular my withdrawals became, the more my life suffered, and the more my problems accumulated. My girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she was tired of me being overly emotional and hungover all the time. Can you blame her?

Next, my health started to decline. Only a couple years prior I was the best CrossFit athlete at my gym. Now I could barely get out of bed. I had aches and pains all over my body, and I was tired all the time. And don’t forget about my failing career. Like I said, I could barely make it to work on time, and my boss was at his wit’s end with my behavior.

“Holy shit, what had happened to me?” I tried to answer this as I lay awake in bed, staring at the dizzying whirl of my ceiling fan, anxiety shooting through my body, dehydrated from another day spent consuming poison. The trajectory of my life, which once looked so purposeful and bright, was no longer clear to me. I couldn’t envision any real future for myself. I was stuck in a dangerous place, and it felt like I was barely hanging on.

On the Wagon, SoberPowers Included

Well, that painful phone call was my first step out of rock bottom. I finally admitted to another person what for years I hadn’t been able to admit to myself: That I was drinking way too much and that I couldn’t stop. That I couldn’t take it anymore. And that this way of life would no longer work for me. Sure, I was still hounded by social anxiety and shame. And yes, I physically felt like crap if I went a few days without booze. And no, I couldn’t imagine a social life without drinking. My life was undoubtedly in shambles, but I had to make a change.

And so, I quit drinking. As I write the words on this page, it’s been over two years since I made that decision. Trust me, that seems about as crazy to me as it probably does to you. Two years ago, alcohol played a major role in almost every aspect of my life. I couldn’t socialize without it. I couldn’t manage stress without it. I couldn’t fall asleep or wake up without it. I couldn’t have gone two days without it, let alone two years. Today, my life is totally different. I am on a new trajectory and alcohol plays absolutely zero role. Truly, after a decade of “normal drinking” followed by a few more years of destructive self-sabotage, I hit the cold, rough, and slimy slab of rock bottom. It wasn’t a fun place to be, and I still cringe when I think about it. But I returned to the surface alive and sober. But that’s not all…

Along the way, something else happened. Something even better. You might even say something miraculous. I found a new path to sobriety. A path that has improved every aspect of my life. An approach that has filled me with a renewed sense of gratitude and purpose. I found an enjoyable and meaningful way to move forward. I didn’t just get sober. I also gained my SoberPowers, improving both my mindset and lifestyle in ways I could have never previously imagined.

So what are SoberPowers? And what does it mean to have them? And how the hell did I get sober? Well, you’ll have to read on because that’s the purpose of this book. To give you an idea of what it’s like to have SoberPowers, I am now mentally and physically healthier than at any other time in my life. The anxiety that used to haunt me is gone, and I look better than ever before. I wake up every day energized to pursue my deepest passions and ultimate purpose. And I have the focus to move my life forward in any way that I choose. None of this was possible when I was a drinker. To top it off, I rarely think about alcohol anymore. I don’t miss my drinking days one bit. I truly love being sober and the positive lifestyle that comes with it. At the end of the day, there are hundreds of possible ways to “achieve sobriety.” But to truly love the decision and thrive as a sober person, you need to have SoberPowers.

Equipped with SoberPowers, you are not merely sober. You are living your best life. And it works in both directions. Gaining SoberPowers will undoubtedly help you achieve sobriety in the short term, but it will also make your sober lifestyle worth it in the long run. So that you never have any doubts. My SoberPowers have given me a renewed sense of purpose in life. And if you read on, I’m convinced the same will happen for you. If you doubt this, I understand. Two years ago, I would have doubted me too. In fact, you and I probably have more in common than you think.

“WINNING”

When I first started on this path of sobriety, I felt the same as you are probably feeling right now. Scared. While sitting at rock bottom, I remember watching a TV show that dealt with the subject of alcoholism. I was almost embarrassed to hear the “A word,” and I was filled with shame. “I wasn’t one of those guys, was I? I wasn’t an alcoholic, right?” I was ashamed to find myself addicted, and I couldn’t imagine a life without drinking. It felt like a lose-lose situation: either keep drinking and dig to an even deeper rock bottom, or get sober and lose everything I thought I knew about life. I mean really, how do you go on a date without drinking? Forget dating, how do you even have friends if you can’t go out for drinks? How do you go from being the life of the party to being that creepy sober guy? To be honest, I didn’t know how to move forward. I didn’t see any worthwhile paths to sobriety. So I didn’t know if I’d make it. But then, something crazy happened.

I found out that I wasn’t in a lose-lose situation at all. I quit drinking, but I didn’t lose my life in the process. I found out that most of what I thought I knew about alcohol and sobriety was brainwashing and lies. Now that I know the truth, I don’t miss drinking at all, and I don’t consider myself an alcoholic. I’ve moved on, and I’m free. Sure, things look a bit different now, but the changes are all positive. The truth is that I’ve gained so much more than I ever had in the first place. I gained my SoberPowers, improving my life in just about every possible way. Physically and mentally, I’m on top of my game. I’m living according to my own values and following my deepest passions. Every day, I’m moving forward, and I’m truly thankful for that fateful moment when I had to admit my drinking problem to my boss. What seemed like rock bottom was actually an opportunity to grow and change.

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