"Does Wednesday Mean Mom's House or Dad's?" Parenting Together While Living Apart (eBook)

Marc J. Ackerman, PHD, is a clinical psychologist and expert on child custody. He maintains a counseling and consulting practice in Milwaukee and is the author of several books for psychologists and lawyers on the topic of child custody, including Wiley's Clinician's Guide to Child Custody Evaluations, Third Edition and the Essentials of Forensic Psychological Assessment. He has been involved in thousands of custody evaluation cases and is the co-creator of ASPECT, a major child-custody evaluation instrument. Dr. Ackerman has worked with thousands of divorcing families and is a frequent speaker at conferences and on national television and radio talk shows.

Preface.

Acknowledgments.

Chapter I. A House Divided.

Facts About Divorce.

Chapter II. Moving Ahead: Telling Children AboutDivorce.

Concrete Thinkers in an Abstract Situation.

When Your Child is No Longer a Child.

Boys and Girls React Differently.

Adjustments Abound.

Mourning the End of a Marriage.

Not Enough Hours in the Day, Not Enough Friends in theWorld.

One Magical Wish.

Chapter III. Custody Options: The Best Interest of theChild.

Joint versus Sole Custody.

Chronic Mental Illness Leads to a Topsy-Turvy World.

Active Alcoholism or Other Drug Abuse and Children Don'tMix.

Physical or Sexual Abuse: Confounding Dilemmas.

Violating Orders, Communication Failure, Obstructing Visits.

Endangering Your Children.

Separate Lives Under One Roof, Then the Great Divide.

Giving Up Placement.

Grandparents: Help or Hindrance.

Chapter IV. Navigating the Legal Waters.

Finding An Attorney.

Don't be Attracted by Unrealistic Promises.

Avoid "Hired Guns" and "Dirty Tricks" Attorneys.

Switching Attorneys.

Telling Your Story in Court.

Acting as Your own Attorney.

Mediation as a First Step.

Collaboration.

Arbitration.

The Court Process.

The Guardian ad Litem.

The Custody Study.

Custody Evaluation.

To Supervise or Not To Supervise.

Removal Cases.

Going Back to Court.

Kidnapping.

Chapter V. Two of Everything? Dealing with the Practicalitiesof Placement and Custody.

Placement of Young Children.

The Ackerman Plan.

Bad Schedules.

General Rules.

Separating Children.

Uninterrupted Time.

Different Cities: Creating a Placement Road Map.

Making Things Work under New Rules.

The Master Schedule.

Visits and Flexibility Work Hand and Hand.

Dividing Property with an Eye on Details.

Parents' Rights.

College Education.

Religious Training.

Phone Calls.

Presents.

Vacations.

Finances.

Parents Working after Divorce.

Chapter VI. How to Parent Apart.

The Family Conference: Increasing Avenues of Communication.

A United Front.

Making Placement Better.

Power to the Children.

Children as Coequals.

Sleeping Arrangements.

Children in the Middle.

A Different Sort of Communication.

Fighting in Front of the Children.

Where to Live.

Problems with the Other Parent.

Parents Who Won't Visit.

Lack of Cooperation.

The Mentally Ill Parent.

Chapter VII. Maltreatment.

Physical Abuse.

Who Will Be the Abusers?

Proving Abuse.

Consequences of Childhood Physical Abuse.

Family/Domestic Violence.

Domestic Violence and Custody.

To Stay or Not to Stay: Is That Your Quandry?

Emotional/Psychological Abuse.

Sexual Abuse.

Who Are the Sexual Abusers?

Evaluatiang Sexual Abuse.

If You Think Your Child Has Been Sexually Abused.

Sexual Abuse Allegations: True or False.

Devastating Effects of Sexual Abuse.

Warnings.

Chapter VIII. The Only Certainty in Life is Change.

Move-Away Placement Plan.

Longer Lasting Reactions.

A Plan to Make Everyone Feel Better.

The Challenge of Additional Adjustments.

Remarriage.

The Role of the Stepparent.

Disciplining Children.

Cementing Relationships.

The Other Extended Family.

Change as Children Grow Older.

Chapter IX. Custody Do's and Don'ts

A Boy Named Chris.

Custody Do's.

Custody Don'ts.

Chapter X. Resources Abound.

Psychiatrists.

Psychologists.

Social Workers.

Professional Organizations.