Connect First: 52 Simple Ways to Ignite Success, Meaning, and Joy at Work

Melanie Katzman, PhD, is a business psychologist, advisor, and consultant to the world's top public and private companies, as well as governmental and nonprofit institutions. As the founder of Katzman Consulting, she is a sought-after expert in executive development, group dynamics, and leadership diversity, and has worked with businesses including Accenture, Bain Consulting, Goldman Sachs, MTV, PwC, and Viacom in 31 countries. A busy speaker, she is also a founding partner of the global nonprofit Leaders' Quest. Dr. Katzman has held faculty positions in psychiatry at Weill-Cornell Medical Center and the University of London and was a senior fellow at Wharton Business School's Center for Leadership and Change Management. She has been featured in the New York Times, Financial Times, South China Morning Post, Vanity Fair, O Magazine, and on ABC, CBS, and Lifetime.

PREFACE 

PART I
ESTABLISH RESPECT

1 SMILE
Activate Immediate Connection 

2 SAY “PLEASE”
It Implies Freedom to Comply (or Not) 

3 SAY “THANK YOU”
The People You Neglect Can Undermine Your Success 

4 CALL PEOPLE BY THEIR NAMES
Ignite Attention and Recognize Individuality 

5 OFFER PRAISE
Pride Is Rocket Fuel 

6 GOT IT? THEN SAY SO!
Help Coworkers Manage Their Time 

7 PROVIDE FEEDBACK
It Benefits Everyone 

PART II
ENGAGE ALL OF YOUR SENSES

8 SEE EVERYBODY
Those on the Margins Often Have Greater Perspective 

9 LISTEN TO INSPIRE
Deepen the Conversation by Responding Without Words 

10 SILENCE
Be Quiet Together 

11 TOUCH
It Transforms an Interaction 

12 EAT TOGETHER
Food Is Bait for Conversation and Creates Connection 

PART III
BECOME POPULAR

13 BE PRESENT
Showing Up Is Just the Start 

14 SHARE INFORMATION
News Is a Virtual Valium 

15 BE A MAGNET
Become the Person People Want to Be With 

16 KNOW HOW TO ENTER
First Impressions Stick 

17 TELL STORIES
Connect by Hacking Your Colleagues’ Right Brains 

18 DON’T JUST DO SOMETHING, SIT THERE!
Luxuriate in Not Having an Immediate Solution 

19 CHALLENGE NEGATIVE THINKING
Stop Noise Pollution 

20 HAVE A POINT OF VIEW
Cultivate an Informed Perspective 

21 YOU DON’T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE RIGHT
Trust Me on This, I’m Not Wrong 

PART IV
GROW LOYALTY

22 ENSURE ROLE CLARITY
Provide the Context and Permission 

23 CONNECT JOBS TO THE LARGER MISSION
There’s Always a Why 

24 OFFER THE GIFT OF TIME
We All Have Too Much to Do 

25 KNOW WHEN YOU ARE DONE
Clear Goals Enable You to Declare “Finished” 

26 THERE’S PLENTY FOR EVERYONE!
Assume an Abundance—Not Scarcity—Mentality 

27 BANK SOCIAL COLLATERAL
Give Now to Succeed in the Future 

28 STROKE THEIR NARCISSISM
All Egos Need a Little Love 

29 CREATE RITUALS
Celebrate Success and Grow from Mistakes 

30 GENERATE JOY AND LAUGHTER
Energize Your Workplace 

PART V
RESOLVE CONFLICT

31 STAND IN SOMEONE ELSE’S SHOES
Experience Their Point of View 

32 DECODE YOUR COLLEAGUES’ EMOTIONAL CLUES
They’re the Key to Connection and Success 

33 APOLOGIZE
Don’t Justify or Explain Why 

34 ACCEPT THAT YOU WON’T BE UNDERSTOOD
Sometimes the System Isn’t Ready for Your Ideas 

35 NEGOTIATE A PSYCHOLOGICAL CONTRACT
Mutually Commit to Extreme Honesty 

36 ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF
The Discomfort Will Be Worth It 

37 NAME THE ELEPHANT
It’s Taking Up Way Too Much Room 

38 BE A SIMPLIFIER, NOT A COMPLICATOR
Make Precision Execution Seem Easy 

PART VI
FIGHT FEAR

39 STEP OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE
Being a Little Terrified Is Good for You 

40 INVITE OTHERS IN
Take the First Step 

41 BE A GRACIOUS HOST
Tackling the Hard Stuff Is Easier When
Everyone Is Comfortable 

42 BE A PERSON FIRST!
Help Strangers Feel Less Strange 

43 FOCUS ON FACILITATION
Boost the Quality of Conversations by Attending to Details 

44 BUILD A BRIDGE
Connect Through Nonwork Interests and Experiences 

45 CREATE THE GROUP YOU WANT TO BE PART OF
There’s Energy and Power in Numbers 

46 BE PRACTICALLY OPTIMISTIC
Instill Hope 

PART VII
HAVE A BIG IMPACT

47 EXPLORE THE UNKNOWN
The Future Depends on It 

48 HONOR HISTORY
Let the Past Propel You Forward 

49 EMBRACE AGING AT WORK
60 Is the New 30 

50 LEVERAGE YOUR PLATFORM
Make a Difference 

51 CHALLENGE THE STATUS QUO
Unleash Intergenerational Energy 

52 DREAM AUDACIOUSLY
Move Beyond Success to Significance 

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS 

REFERENCES 

INDEX