Close Encounters

Laura K. Guerrero has been at Arizona State since 1996 where she teaches undergraduate and graduate level courses on relational communication, nonverbal communication, statistics, and research methods. Her research focuses on communication in close relationships, emphasizing nonverbal messages, emotion, and the "dark” and “bright” sides of interpersonal communication. She is the co-author/co-editor of Nonverbal Communication in Close Relationships (Erlbaum), The Nonverbal Communication Reader, Third Edition (Waveland Press), Nonverbal Communication (Pearson), and the Handbook of Communication and Emotion (Academic Press). Peter Andersen (PhD, Florida State University) is a professor at San Diego State University. The author of five books and more than 150 book chapters, research papers, and journal articles, he has received recognition as one of the 100 most published scholars in the field of communication. Walid A. Afifi (PhD, University of Arizona) is professor in the Department of Communication at the University of California, Santa Barbara, where he teaches interpersonal communication, relational communication, nonverbal communication, and social marketing. His research revolves around people’s experience of uncertainty and their decisions to seek or avoid information in relational contexts.

Conceptualizing Relational Communication: Definitions and Principles
The Field of Personal Relationships: A Brief History
The Field of Personal Relationships: A Brief History
Contributions of Social Psychology
Roots in Other Disciplines
Relationships
General Types of Relationships
Need Fulfillment in Close Relationships
Relationship Categories
Characteristics Distinguishing Different Relationship Types
Principles of Interpersonal Communication
Verbal and Nonverbal Messages
Communication as Inevitable
Interpersonal Communication Goals
Effectiveness and Shared Meaning
Content versus Relational Information
Symmetry in Communication
Principles of Relational Communication
Relationships Emerge Across Ongoing Interactions
Relationships Contextualize Messages
Communication Sends a Variety of Relational Messages
Relational Communication is Dynamic
Relational Communication Follows both Linear and Nonlinear Patterns
Summary and Application
Key Terms
Discussion Questions
Student Study Site
Communicating Identity: The Social Self
The Development of Personal Identity
Defining Identity
Human Nature and Identity
Communication and Identity
Culture and Ethnic Identity
The Image: Creating an Identity
“Talkin’ ‘Bout Your Generation”: Millennials and Generation Zers’ Identity
Social Networking and Identity
Identity, Perception, and Self-Esteem
Expanding Identity
The Principles of Identity Management
Identity and Hierarchical Structure
Identity and the Looking-Glass Self
Identity and the Interpretation of Feedback
Identity, Expectations, and Behavior
Identity and Self-Evaluation
Identity and Goal Achievement
Identity and Relationships
Communicating Identity to Others
General Issues in Self-Presentation
“Life Is a Stage”: The Dramaturgical Perspective
Politeness Theory
Summary and Application
Key Terms
Discussion Questions
Student Study Site
Drawing People Together: Forces of Social Attraction
Attraction
Types of Attraction
Fatal Attraction
A Framework for Understanding Attraction
Personal Qualities
Perceptions of Reward Value
Expectations
Biological Aspects of Attraction
Demographic Characteristics
Personality
Other People’s Qualities
Physical Attractiveness
Interpersonal Communication Skills
The “Hard-to-Get” Phenomenon
Qualities of the Pair
Similarity: “Birds of a Feather Flock Together”
Complementarity: Sometimes Opposites Attract
Similarity and Complementarity in Initial versus Committed Relationships
Qualities of the Physical or Social Environment
Physical Environment
Proximity
Social Environment
Summary and Application
Key Terms
Discussion Questions
Student Study Site
Making Sense of Our World: Managing Uncertainty and Expectancy Violations
Uncertainty
Uncertainty Reduction Theory: Issues and Challenges
The Motivation to Reduce Uncertainty
The Relationship Between Communication and Uncertainty
General Strategies for Reducing Uncertainty
Secret Tests
Predicted Outcome Value Theory
The Theory of Motivated Information Management
The Model of Relational Turbulence
Expectancy Violations
Expectancy Violations Theory
Types of Expectancy Violations in Close Relationships
Expectancy Violations and Uncertainty in Specific Contexts
Summary and Application
Key Terms
Discussion Questions
Student Study Site
Changing Relationships: Stages, Turning Points, and Dialectics
Communication Skills
Relationship Stages
The “Coming Together” Stages
The “Coming-Apart” Stages
The Ordering and Timing of Stages
Turning Points
Communication-Based Turning Points
Activities and Special Occasions
Events Related to Passion and Romance
Events Related to Commitment and Exclusivity
Changes in Families and Social Networks
Proximity and Distance
Crisis and Conflict
Perceptual Changes
The Dialectical Perspective
Relational Dialectics Theory
Dialectical Tensions in Friendships
Summary and Application
Key Terms
Discussion Questions
Student Study Site
Revealing and Hiding Ourselves: Self-Disclosure and Privacy
Self-Disclosure
Dimensions of Self-Disclosure
Self-Disclosure and Liking
Risks Associated With Self-Disclosure
Privacy
Privacy Ownership
Privacy Control
Boundary Turbulence
Influences on Rules for Boundary Management
Negotiating Privacy Boundaries in Relationships: Challenges and Violations
Topic Avoidance and Secret Keeping
Topics Commonly Avoided or Kept Secret
Reasons for Topic Avoidance and Secret Keeping
How People Engage in Topic Avoidance
Topic Avoidance During Relationship Transitions
Consequences of Topic Avoidance
Consequences of Secret Keeping
Consequences of Revealing Secrets
Summary and Application
Key Terms
Discussion Questions
Student Study Site
Communicating Closeness: Affection, Immediacy, and Social Support
Closeness in Relationships
Physical Closeness
Emotional Closeness
Relational Closeness
Communicating Closeness
Affectionate Communication
Affection Exchange Theory
Communicating Affection
Immediacy Behavior
Verbal Immediacy
Nonverbal Immediacy
Cognitive Valence Theory
Behavior
Perception
Arousal
Cognition
Relational Outcomes
Supportive Communication
The Dual Process Model of Supportive Communication
Invisible Support
Person-Centered Messages
Nonverbal Immediacy
Sex Differences in the Experience and Expression of Closeness
Perceptions of Closeness
Communication of Closeness
Preferences for Same-Sex Versus Cross-Sex Friendships
Summary and Application
Key Terms
Discussion Questions
Student Study Site
Making a Love Connection: Styles of Love and Attachment
What is Love?
Love Versus Liking
Love as a Triangle
Finding Love and Falling in Love
Love Styles
Lee’s Love Styles
Ways to Communicate Love
Attachment Theory
The Propensity for Forming Attachments
Internal Working Models and Attachment Styles
Attachment Styles in Childhood
Attachment Styles in Adulthood
Attachment and Relational Satisfaction
Stability and Change in Attachment Styles across the Life Span
Summary and Application
Key Terms
Discussion Questions
Student Study Site
Communicating Sexually: The Closest Physical Encounter
Sex in Relationships
Sex in Short-Term and Early Dating Relationships
Sex in Long-Term Relationships
Sex Differences
Sex in Same-Sex Relationships
Sexual Attitudes
Developing Sexual Attitudes and Beliefs
Communication About Sex
Courtship and Flirtation
Communication, Sexual Satisfaction, and Relational Satisfaction
Sexual Scripts
Pillow Talk
Sexual Coercion and Harassment
Sexual Coercion
Sexual Harassment
Communication and Safe Sex
Summary and Application
Key Terms
Discussion Questions
Student Study Site
Staying Close: Maintaining Relationships
Defining Relational Maintenance
Behaviors Used to Maintain Relationships
Prosocial Maintenance Behaviors
Antisocial Maintenance Behavior
Modality of Maintenance Behavior
Strategic and Routine Maintenance Behaviors
Maintenance Behavior in Romantic Relationships
Changes in Maintenance over the Course of Romantic Relationships
Maintenance in Gay and Lesbian Relationships
Maintenance Behavior in Same-Sex Friendships
Talking Versus Doing
Men and Women are from the Same Planet
Maintenance Behavior in Cross-Sex Friendships
Challenges in Cross-Sex Friendships
Coping with Romantic Intent
Keeping Friendships Platonic
Maintenance Challenges in Other Relationships
Friends with Benefits Relationships
Long-Distance Relationships
Co-habiting Relationships
Equity Theory
Principles of Equity Theory
Reducing Distress in Inequitable Relationships
Combined Influence of Benefit-Cost Rations and Equity
Summary and Application
Key Terms
Discussion Questions
Student Study Site
Coping with Conflict: When Relational Partners Disagree
Conflict in Relationships
Defining Conflict
Frequency of Conflict in Various Relationships
Effects of Conflict on Relationships
Conflict Styles
Competitive Fighting
Compromising
Collaborating
Indirect Fighting
Avoiding
Yielding
Patterns of Conflict Interaction
Negative Reciprocity
Demand-Withdraw
The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse
Accommodation
Explanations for Conflict Patterns
Emotional Flooding
Attributions
Communication Skill Deficits
Summary and Application
Key Terms
Discussion Questions
Student Study Site
Influencing Each Other: Dominance and Power Plays in Relationships
Defining Power and Related Terms
The Power Principles
Power as a Perception
Power as a Relational Concept
Power as Resource Based
Power as Having Less to Lose
Power as Enabling or Disabling
Power as a Prerogative
Interpersonal Influence Goals
Making Lifestyle Changes
Gaining Assistance
Sharing Activities
Initiating Sexual Activity
Changing Political Attitudes
Giving Health Advice
Changing Relationships
Verbal Power Ploys
Verbal Influence Strategies
Relational Control Moves: One-Ups and One-Downs
Powerful and Powerless Speech
Nonverbal Positions of Power
Physical Appearance
Spatial Behavior
Eye Behavior
Body Movements
Touch
The Voice
Times
Artifacts
The Power and Influence in Families
Parent and Child Relationships
Traditional Versus Egalitarian Marriages
Summary and Application
Key Terms
Discussion Questions
Student Study Site
Hurting the Ones We Love: Relational Transgressions
Hurt Feelings in Relationships
Relational Transgressions
Hurtful Messages
Types of Hurtful Messages
Responses to Hurtful Messages
Deception
Types of Deception
Motives for Deception
Deception Detection
Effects of Deception on Relationships
Infidelity
Types of Infidelity
Behavioral Cues to Infidelity
Sex Differences in Reactions to Infidelity
Jealousy
Characteristics of Jealousy
Experiencing Romantic Jealousy
Communicative Responses to Jealousy
Jealousy and Relational Satisfaction
Sex Differences in Jealous Emotions and Communication
Unrequited Love
Obsessive Relational Intrusion
Reasons People Use Obsessive Relational Intrusion Behavior
Consequences of Obsessive Relational Intrusion Behavior
Relational Violence
Common Couple Violence
Intimate Terrorism
Summary and Application
Key Terms
Discussion Questions
Student Study Site
Healing the Hurt: Relationship Repair and Reconciliation
Investment Model of Relationship-Maintaining Behavior
Commitment
Pro-Relationship Behaviors
The Model of Accommodation
Destructive Behaviors
Constructive Behaviors
Remedial Strategies
Apologies and Concessions
Appeasement
Explanations
Denials
Avoidance and Evasion
Relationship Talk
Forgiveness
Forgiving Communication
Conditions That Promote or Impede Forgiveness and Forgiving Communication
Relational Reconciliation
Reconciliation Strategies
Reintegration in the Social Network
On-Again Off-Again Relationships
Relational Redefinition
Summary and Application
Key Terms
Discussion Questions
Student Study Site
Ending Relationships: Disengagement and Termination
Why Relationships End
Infidelity and Interest in a Third Party
Incompatibility
Alcohol and Drugs
Growing Apart
Loss of Love
Equity Issues Related to Family Obligations
Communication as a Cause of Relational Breakup
Withdrawal
Negative Communication
Lack of Openness and Intimacy
Abusive Communication
The Disengagement Process
A Process Model of Relational Dissolution
Catastrophe Theory
Fifteen Ways to Leave Your Partner
Unilateral and Indirect Strategy
Unilateral and Indirect Strategies
Bilateral and Indirect Strategy
Bilateral and Direct Strategies
Outcomes: The Results of Relationships Endings
Negative Outcomes of Relational Breakups
Healing After a Separation
Positive Outcomes of Relational Breakups
Summary and Application
Key Terms
Discussion Questions
Student Study Site